Friday, November 15, 2013

Yankeetorial: Hal's strategy for the farms is more supervisors. Here's another plan...

The gentlemen of the club are accepting new members.

"The Yankees didn't clean house. In fact, rather than fire scouts or instructors, the team is bringing more of them on."

Great. Just great. Well, here are some ideas for long-term development of the Yankees:

1. Never hold onto a first-round draft pick. Sign free agents that eliminate our top pick, so other teams always get first dibs on new talent. This worked well in the 1980s. (See Wally Joyner.)

2. Sign or trade for players in their mid to late 30s - that is, on the decline. Nobody else wants them. They're cheap! Plus, you can clog up your system, getting a .220 average from Vernon Wells or Travis Hafner, instead of giving Zolio Almonte a chance. It's always better to have players on the way down. Plus, they're famous!

3. Because you have no room for young players on the big team, bundle them or trade them individually for old-timers (See No. 2.) Nobody will care. Take, for example, the trade for Ichiro with Seattle. Everybody said it was a giveaway - we got a future Hall of Famer, and they got nothing. Well, actually, the Mariners received their closer. (Yep, they have a closer; we're looking to sign one. Like Joe Nathan!) (See No. 2) Then there is Cody Black, the young pitcher we gave up for Alfonso Soriano. Everybody knows Sori will hit all next season the way he did in September, right? Those years with the Cubs - they didn't happen. (See No. 2!)

4. Give up on players.The Cardinals didn't bring up Matt Carpenter until age 25, and that was a cup off coffee. He started at 26. You already hear drums beating farewells  for Gary Sanchez and Slade Heathcott, or the poster boys for Yankee draft incontinence - Cito Culver and Dante Bichette Jr. Do you realize, they are both 21? To hear the bloggers scream, they should be booed from the game. Ahhh... but that brings us to...

5. The fans. You hear this often: The Yankees can't develop players because of the unrealistic expectations of their fan base. Yep. It's our fault. It's those goddamn fans. If only the Yankees didn't have any! Well, folks, keep buying geriatric wards - three years of Carlos Beltran? Come on - while letting the youngsters rot, and you might just get your wish.

Listen: If the gentlemen of the club - the front office bozos with their velcro wrist-straighteners and their special chairback supports - can do nothing more than blame the bloggers and the critics - well, get the hell rid of them. Yeah, we bloggers may be nuts, but it's because we care. And this is crazy, but you need the nutjob fan base more than you need 100 more traveling bureaucrats. Most of all, you need somebody at the top with the balls to toe a line and hold it. Yoo-hoo, anybody listening?

3 comments:

KD said...

either the scouts suck or they are being ignored. If the FO just ignores them, how could hiring more actually help at all? And if they suck, why keep them on?

Good grief, this organization needs electroshock therapy.

Leinstery said...

You mock the organization's love of bringing in old-timers, but you'll be eating your words when the Yanks bring back a still officially un-retired Bernie Williams. Guy runs harder than Cano, covers slightly less ground than whoever they'll shove in right field and the excitement of seeing a Yankee legend will keep the crowd in games until the very end. Seems like a no brainer. And shit why not go with a the winning formula, the entire 1998 roster, minus Irabu (Was he on the team in 98? who cares he's dead now). I think Tino still has the power, didn't he go deep in the old man game last year? And hell we know he's usefull in the benchclearing brawls., guy beats up men half his age last I heard. And Paul Oneil, he'll bring the fire to ignite this team.

Honestly, the greatest team ever + 15 years of more life experience =129 wins and a cake walk through the world series. And that Cashman, is how you mother fucking general manage.

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