As the trade deadline approaches, maybe it's time to ponder the unponderable

Last night, during the successful National Emergency Juju Intervention - with Rizzutonic particles crackling across my TV porthole, and my nervous system attuned to the vast Yankee incondibulum - the Matrix glitched, and I encountered an entirely new experience: 

As Aaron Judge stepped to the plate, I noticed an involuntary, knee-buckling cringe.

I reported this to authorities. Why deny it? It happened. As a research scientist, not prone toward the whims of dogma, I must report all strange phenomenon, regardless of personal views. In a brief span, before purging myself with another Fleet Enema - my fourth - I felt my stomach fill with doorknobs and needed to sit. It was an unmistakable, Jose Canseco-esque cringe. It happened.

This malaise is not unprecedented. It happens whenever a Yankee regular tumbles into a nightmare slump, consistently bringing disappointment. True to his deathly trench, Judge fanned by lunging for a 3-2 pitch far off the plate, and marching back to his still-warmed dugout perch. Over his last seven games, Judge has batted .219, fanning 10 times in 32 at-bats, grounding into three DPs, and drawing not one walk. Not one. In Fenway, he has been a bust, and the ESPN team was not shy about saying as much.

Listen: Judge remains the Yankees best player, and we cannot imagine a fully operational Death Star without him. But it's time to talk blaspheme: The big guy needs a rest, almost as much as Mike Tauchman - our best hitter over the last month - did not need one last night. I'm reminded of Judge's breakout season, two years ago, when his game collapsed after the Home Run Derby, and fans were screaming for Aaron Boone to sit him for a couple games. 

The Yankees now face a Wednesday trade deadline with their rotation in ruins. Yesterday, they learned the price tag for Marcus Stroman - two top 10 Mets pitching prospects - was too high. (And the Jays surely enjoyed sticking it to us, dealing Stoman to his favored destination, leaving us on the stoop.) So, in the spirit of a parlor game, let's think some crazy shit -out-of-the-box moves the Yankees could make, rather than the traditional route of dealing a pile of prospects. I'm not advocating trading anyone for the sake of a trade. But in any deal, the devil is in the details. 

What if they traded Judge - a superstar approaching his prime, but whose disturbing frequency of injuries suggests a younger version of Giancarlo Stanton? Well, aside from the fact that the fan base would revolt, and the Yankees marketing program revolves around the guy, there is hardly a starting pitcher out there who could balance such a trade. So, trading Judge is out. He will be a Yankee, if not for the rest of his life, for the rest of mine.

What about Gary Sanchez? Hmm. That's another matter. For weeks before his recent tweak, I'd cringed at Gary's sight, especially with runners on base. In his 9 games following the All-Star break, he was hitting .103, and his slump began in June. What if the Yankees - in a 2019 do-or-die run - pedaled Sanchez, a 26-year old all-star catcher and slugger? They could hand the position to Austin Romine, who is hitting.409 over the last seven games.

Would Sanchez bring a stud pitcher? (Keep in mind, the Yankees have several top catching prospects low in the system.) This would elevate Romine, who in the past has wilted under the daily grind, and make Kyle Higashioka the back-up. Also, I'm starting to fear Sanchez might need to play 1B, where he could be a complete liability. Could they make such a deal? Dunno. But maybe the Yankees need to limit Gary's innings far more than in the past. And maybe when he's not catching, Gary shouldn't be the DH, either. Is he really a major plank in the Yankee future? Dunno. Just asking. 

What about dealing Stanton? Don't we wish? Unfortunately, he's got a no-trade clause and a contract from Hell. He's ours for life. No. He'll be here forever, long after the icecaps melted and civilization breaks into tribal warfare. He'll be ours. 

How about Aaron Hicks, hero of the historic Battle of Minnesota? Could we turn CF over to a Tauchman/Maybin platoon, and deal the contract-controlled Hicks, maybe with a few bucks sweetening the pot? Hicks' career is pocked with injuries, which bring slumps. This begs another question: Are Tauchman and Maybin for real? Could they play CF until Estevan Florial arrives? (If he can ever stop striking out?)

What about trading Luke Voit? DJ LeMahiue can play 1B. But would Luke bring a top pitcher? And he seem a valuable clubhouse lug nut, somebody no team wants to face in a brawl. Or Gio Urshela? He could disappear next spring, when Miguel Andujar returns. 

Or, wait a minute: How about this: Could we bundle the injured Andujar with the injured Greg Bird and the injured Luis Severino - a perfect storm of rehabs - for a pitcher? Could a forward-thinking GM shore up three positions next spring by dealing a pitcher now? 

Must we surrender our best prospects? 

Obviously, I dunno. The sad part here is that most teams, when dealing pitchers, want pitching in return, and the Yankees have none to give. They could deal James Paxton and/or JA Happ - as they did Sonny Gray - but what's the point? They'd be trading players at their lowest value, a losing strategy. Nope, they're stuck with the pair. 

What's amazing - and terrifying, if you think about it - is that the Yankees recently have seemed to toy with the notion of trading Domingo German, to free some pitcher. Hopefully, last night dispelled that notion. But over the next 72 hours, anything can happen... except one outcome cannot change: The Yankees will be in first place in the AL East by a relatively comfortable margin. How badly do we need a face-lift?