Of course baseball will expand its playoffs; it cannot deal with the real reasons for its decline

Welp, here we go again... 

Yesterday, we learned what MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred has been doing, while not punishing the Redsocks for cheating, and we shouldn't be surprised. He was doing what all pro sports poohbahs do: Thinking up new ways to squeeze money from fans. So be it. Big wheels keep on turnin.' That's China Town, Jake.

The plan: Add an entire new tier of playoffs, diminishing the regular season and ensuring that the final pitches of the World Series happen while gramma is prepping the Thanksgiving turkey. Good luck, playing those last games in Boston or Detroit, or any northern city without a dome. (Pressuring the taxpayers to build indoor stadiums can come later.) Or maybe baseball's finale, as with the NFL, can take place on joyless neutral fields, with seventh-inning stretches that feature 30-minute performances by Charo. The Super Series! It has a cash register ring to it, no?

Under the proposal, 14 out of 30 teams each year will make the playoffs, with the top teams in each league receiving a first-round bye. In a strange way, this looks like a kiss of death. While others battle tooth and nail, ensuring that the hottest teams advance, the pennant winner can go hot-tubbing for a week, or play "simulated games," seeking to keep their competitive edge. Then, the top team has the opportunity to publicly disrespect its next opponent, by choosing to play them. Wow. Can you imagine a worse situation? You team lies dormant for a week, then faces a streaking ball club that you've just mocked on national TV. MLB thinks this will be a reality TV smash, and you know what? They're probably right, because nowadays, sports is reality TV, no?

Yep, there it is. Sports is no longer a contest of athleticism, or grit, or courage. It's a bunch of young, photogenic hotties, each with hopes and dreams, successes and tragedies, dimples and zits, just like you and me. They should house each team in a fortress wired for video, and feed the players supermodels and ex-wives. Now that's a future product. Appointment TV! 

I don't know about you, but in my life, I've never had a huge desire to know the Yankees up close. For starters, I wanted to honor their privacy. Secondarily, they might turn out to be assholes, ruining my fandom. All I wanted were timely base hits and brave performances. And victories, I guess. I didn't need to follow them into the showers. I don't want to ignore major transgressions - Jim Leyritz, for example, or cases of domestic violence - but I accepted that wealth and fame can turn people into dicks. That's why folks like David Cone and Paul O'Neill can be so lovable. Somehow, they seemed to keep their humanity. (Then again, I don't know them up close.)

Ah, but I've digressed. Of course, MLB will adopt this expanded playoff system. It's a done deal. The owners need more money. Case closed. It means that bad teams - playing below .500 in August - can simply get hot, trade for an ace, bring up a few once-around-the-league rookies, and kaboom - they'll go 81-81 and win the World Series. And yes, their owners will make more money.

What this won't do is save baseball, which is becoming a colossal, slow-motion, time-consuming bore. Look: I'm as big a Yankee fan as there is on the planet, but these days, I never watch a full game from start to finish. Never. They're four hours, people. Four hours! Who can watch nine innings in a row? And soon, the season will be the same. Yeah, "A loss in April is the same as a loss in September," but screw dat: Games just don't matter so much, when nearly half the teams advance to the playoffs. 

Also, MLB seems either clueless or incapable of addressing its real problem: The degradation of the game into a stream of homers, strikeouts and walks. Somehow, the lords of the pastime need to address the agonizing pace of games, when every batter goes to a full count, en route to a walk or strikeout. Watching teams saunter around the bases is a great reason to switch to Rachel Maddow. And the juiced ball will not save us. It's really simple, folks: We love him, but Brett Gardner shouldn't hit 28 HRs. 

So... welp... let's face reality: The plan has been unveiled. Of course, MLB will add this new tier of playoffs. Done deal. In his cryogenic pod-coffin, Bud Selig is smiling. It's the latest sign that our game is in existential trouble, but - hey - as long as the owners make more money, nobody will care.