Still four up, Rizzo sick, Guzman here, Gallo is hot (like all of California, that is), and the guy we sent to the Cubs is another reason Cashman won't make the Hall

This we know...

1. The juju gods are assholes. Never forget this. They will do anything - anything - to mess us up.

2. America has noticed the Yankee meltdown. The other night, a WWE announcer described a tag team as "falling apart faster than the New York Yankees." Also, in a U Conn football game, an announcer compared a fumbled kickoff to a booted grounder by Isiah Kiner-Falefa. If the collapse continues, the Yankees will become shorthand for choking. And don't expect sympathy. Most people still think we buy pennants and that "Steinbrenner" means an obsession with winning.

3. Light the candles for Anthony Rizzo. Supposedly, his back no longer hurts. Now, it's headaches. (Haven't heard the word "migraine," which is strange.) This comes after an epidural, which usually provides temporary back relief. So, if he's on the shelf, he's wasting the benefit of the shot. Anyone who remembers Don Mattingly knows what a barking back can do to a firstbaseman. Without Rizzo, we're a first-round knockout in the postseason, that is, if we make it. 

2. Our new 1B is Ronald Guzman, 28, and he's worth a paragraph. The guy is 6'5", so he'll look good coming off the bus. He bats LH, which is good. He wanted to go both ways this year - supposedly has a big slider - so in a blowout, he'll be first called. Five years ago, he was a big prospect for Texas - hit three HRs against the Yankees in a game - looked like a mauler. His numbers flatlined, he blew out a knee, and he missed 2021. This year, he started slow at Scranton, got hot lately. Whatever he does, we've got to give DJ LeMahieu's toe a rest; poor guy's doing nothing out there. Lightning in a bottle? Or just the next Mike Ford?

3. Over his last 15 games, Joey Gallo is giving LA fans a taste of what this explosive-but-oh-so-sensitive slugger can do. He's hitting .171 with 19 Ks in 41 at bats. Could it be that Dodger fans are as heartless and cruel as their NY counterparts? The big difference: His beard, which definitely improves his profile.

4. The Cubs promoted RH pitcher Hayden Wesneski yesterday, and  he threw five scoreless innings, gave up 2 hits. He's 24. I wanna cry. We traded him - and opened the coral - for Scott Effross, currently on the IL with a shoulder strain. Not to rip Effross, but when we got him, he was among the league leaders in games pitched. Did we think all those innings didn't matter? 

So, two with the Twins today. John Sterling laments doubleheaders because - bless his heart - he says it's harder for the Yankees to sweep. Of course, we're all expecting the worst - a reverse Ryan McBroom. If we do blow these, if Minnesota gets revenge for all our jokes and mockery, we could be out of first place by the weekend. We've won two in a row, but the boat is still listing. Don't trust the juju gods.