How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, Part I

 

The following word salad was transcribed, verbatim, from Brian Cashman's "press conference" with Meredith and Bob Lorenz last evening. Some highlights in bold. 

And please note how, while we are treated to every detail of Cashman's negotiations with various ballplayers—as described by him—we have yet to hear the value of Cashie's new contract (Great job, tame Yankees media!):

“Certainly, every year, every winter, you know, the available free agent and trade markets are always different.  Different strengths, different weaknesses.  And we don’t want to look at any Plan Bs or Cs or Ds or Es, whatever you want to call it.  Our hopes and goals are obviously to retain our player.  And hopefully, we can continue to call him our player.  But we’ll see over time.  This is—it’s just going to take a little more time, the winter’s not going to go on forever, sometimes players don’t sign all the way ’til spring training.  I don’t see that happening in this particular case, but I’m just guessing now on that.   You know, again, um, you know Aaron Judge will make a decision for him and his family, uh, you know with his agency at some point, uh, and the negotiations are still active.”

Note also, please how many times Cashman contradicts himself in the course of his own monologue. He also keeps referring to Judge making "a decision for him and his family"—as if Judge had a brood of ten, as opposed to that one, cute little wife of his who, you know, probably has a say in it, too.