The news jolted fans from their MILF Manor trances, prompting outcries of anger and fear that Hicks - like microplastics - has become a permanent part of the Yankiverse.
In fact, we are contractually lashed to him, like Ahab to the whale, for the next four years, until 2026, on a pay scale that will rise to $12.5 million in his final season. There is no escape from Aaron Hicks - or for Aaron Hicks. He is ours, and we are his.
On that note, dear comrades, I have one request.
Kindly sit down and STFU!
Yes, we're all stuck on this dinky lifeboat. Yes, there are not enough provisions to last. Yes, we can't drink the seawater, and yes, we can hear you screaming. So has every shark within 100 miles, and, yes, they're circling. Thank you for reminding us that we're going to die. Why, the thought hadn't occurred to me, until you began bellowing your personal terrors to the sun and the moon. We really need to hear again how we'll starve to death, if we don't first die of thirst. So, take a deep breath, Elon, and if you have any private thoughts about jumping overboard, feel free, okay? Just keep your ideas to yourself. The TV clicker is yours, and Oak Island is beckoning. Thank you for your consideration.
Excuse me. I got a little loud.
But seriously, we should all know by now that Cashman's gonna say whatever Cashman's gonna say. Want a historical analogy? Here's one: Yesterday's statement - to satellite radio - is most reminiscent of Cashman's claim in 2006 that Bubba Crosby would be the Yankee CF, a statement that came days before we signed Johnny Damon.
Here's what Cashman was thinking:
1. "I'm desperately trying to trade Aaron Hicks, but I won't say it, so if other GMs hear this, they will think I don't want to trade Aaron Hicks, and thus I will outsmart them... by trading Aaron Hicks. Ha ha!"
2. "I'll tell Aaron Hicks that he's my man, because it will stoke him up to workout harder and have a big spring training... and then I can trade Aaron Hicks. Ha ha!"
3. "Whatever I say now doesn't matter. Nobody out there remembers how I pulled the wool over everybody's eyes back in 2006 with Bubba Crosby. Ha ha!"
Folks, here's the reality: Aaron Hicks might be our LF next April.
He'll be 33. And maybe - just maybe - he's got a half season left, before he tweaks a gonad, (which he will.) But frankly, I'd rather give him one more shot than DFA him, or trade him for somebody with a worse contract. He's ours for four more years. Deal with it. Okay, back to Oak Island. HOLY SHIT, SOMEBODY FOUND A FORK!
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23 comments:
Been saying this about Hicks all along. Starting Hicks has always been the primary option for LF. If his contract was for 3M, he’d be gone. Amazing that Cashman gets to keep his job.
And WTF is “Milf Manor”?
The Yanks rarely admit a mistake like Hicks...only the Gallo trade was an admission...
The silver lining with Hicks is that he will always end up on the IL. So there's that.
Is Bubba still around? He could play left.
Okay, this is as good a time as any for me to star the plea.
BRING UP THE MARTIAN AND LET HIM START IN LF!!!
Yes, he's only at Somerset and needs, as Cashman always describes highly-hyped AAA players he never brings up and eventually trade for has-beens, "needs more seasoning". BUT look at it logically: At the present, he's a much better defensive LF than Hicks with much more speed and a cannon arm. Sure, he likely needs to be more selective at the plate but would he hit any worse than Hicks??? He has a lot of talent. And you can't learn talent much like you can't learn height.
Is this the BEST course for the team? Of course not! But since Hal is too cheap to add a quality corner OF and in lieu of trading away our farm system for the likes of Reynolds, the pragmatic approach is to play Dominguez. There's a net gain by bringing up the kid AND at no cost!
For once, let The Brain roll the fucking dice...take a chance and let the talent learn in the bigs. He will not do worse than Hicks.
Right on, El Duque. Let me start with Genius Cashman. He has gotten really full of himself. He believes he can pull one over on the other GMs. Certainly did not do so with the Donaldson trade. He over promotes Hicks and Donaldson. He listened to the Nerds in his analytics department and held on to STD "Stud To Dud" Sanchez. He wanted to move Sanchez and brought in a player who was clearly over the hill in Donaldson, a player whose best infield position is third base and not shortstop in Falafa. I have been harping on Barren Hicks on your blog for a while. If you watch The Barren when he plays, he has never been that good. Cashman and his
analytics Geeks can sell us on Hicks. He had the year where he hit 27 Homers, when the ball was supped up. Hicks walks and that is it. What we get, when the batting average has been devalued, is a beyond awful batting average from The Barren. He is not as good fielder as he was in the past. A player who The Genius reupped. And four more years of a foolish GM, who has not done the job. The Yankees will probably win the East and then lose in the playoffs. We will hear how Cashman will make a deal, because Hicks and Donaldson will not hit. It will be Homerun or nothing once again. I am sure Clueless Cashman was forced to bring in Sabean and Minaya. A simple solution would have been to move on from The Genius and replace him with a much better GM in Sabean. But Hal likes the smell and taste of Cashman's ass when he smacks his lips on it. Will The Genius listen to to the two former GMs, at all. This is my question. The Yankees are certainly a death star. Going on thirteen years without a World Series appearance. The Red Sox and Patriots stink, but The Bruins and Celtics own the best records in their respective sports. I believe it was 1998 when The Yankees had the best record in Baseball. NY mismanagement by putz's like Cashman goes on!
Here's a shovel Cashiie Bear, keep digging.
Part of the issue with Hicks is, much like Gallo, the fans are DONE with this guy so unless he comes out smoking hot they are going to boo him, boo him, and boo him some more.
That's not good for Hicks, the team, or the fans.
Better to keep trying to find a taker or let him be the fifth outfielder and try someone, anyone, else. The fans will give who ever it is a fair chance.
But but but...if what you're saying is true, Duque, SHOULDN'T we all scream and holler? To play along with Cashie's game of three-dimensional Chinese checkers?
To stay with your analogy, shouldn't we be howling, "Oh, no! Oh, no, a SHARK!"—while whispering to each other, "When it gets close enough, hit it with the oar. Shark tartare tonight, baby!"
Also, I suspect that the more we squirm, the more it inspires Cashie, in the mad-scientist laboratory of his mind. "Bwahaha! They'll never see THIS genius move coming, the poor mortals!"
Of course, the last time he thought that, we ended up with Donaldson, IKF, and Biceptvedt...
just read this about jasson...
"After spending the regular season in Class-A ball, he got promoted just before the Double-A playoffs, where he hit .450/.560/.950 with three home runs, 10 RBI and five walks in five games. In the championship game, Dominguez finished 3-for-4, homered from both sides of the plate and knocked in six runs."
sss but i figured we could all use a smile.
...But hey, give Hicks another shot? Sure, why not? We are indeed stuck with him for the next 3 seasons. (We can opt out in 2026 for a $1 mill payment, Duque, the Lord be praised.)
The real question is, who do we give a shot to next???
As JM writes, there's an easy way to get rid of Hicks: play him. But apres le Hicks, who's the deluge?
I'm intrigued by Carl Weitz's idea...but I just don't think it's going to happen. And I don't see how we get Reynolds.
So...do we give Florial a shot at long last? I say yes. At least we're likely to get some decent play in the field from him.
Great to hear about the one from the red planet, Duque!
And...some good news about Mike King:
https://theathletic.com/4110773/2023/01/23/michael-king-yankees-reliever/
As always, who knows how accurate Yankees injury reports are? But this one is right from the (bullpen) horse's mouth, and if he IS okay, that could be huge.
Why is this a-hole so averse to playing "not so" young players? Florial is 25, Cabrera is 23, Pereira is 21, The Martian is 19. I think anyone of these guys will give you the same numbers Hicks will, if not better. I remember when they brought Cano. He was 22 (again had to replace another great Cashman signing Tony "Bobby" Womack) He stepped right in and set the world on fire. Give these kids a chance!
@Mr. Weitz...
I'm warm to the idea of the Martian. As you say, excellent defense, cannon arm, plus he runs fast and hits the ball to Mars, when he hits it.
I'm warm to the idea of Pereira too. Good all-around player, excellent defense, good arm. Hits the ball hard - again, when he hits it - can run some.
There's only one reason Hicks is even remotely being considered the prime candidate for the left field job. Actually, ten million of them.
Spencer...The Martian...& The Judge...
Is Bubba Crosby available?
Call up Dominguez. Fred Norris needs to see a friendly face from back home.
You can’t save your face and your ass at the same time, Brian.
@ MJ....As Robert Higgins stated to Peter Jennings during the OJ Ford Bronco chase: "Baba Booey to y'all!"
@Carl That was a totally farcical call, lest anyone wonder. Luckily we have them on every coast. :D
Wait until next year when we have to find a centerfielder. He looks like a really good player, but his injury history and career offensive stats aren't as good as Hicks. I read speculation awhile some time back that he'd be looking for a did figure contract. Well speculation in December is worth less than nothing.
*I was referring to Hacer in the second sentence.
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