Why does the return of Aaron Boone infuriate so many Yankee fans?

You won't find many Aaron Boone fans here. If I write anything remotely sympathetic to Boone, it means a spanking. Nobody here likes the idea of Year Six for the gum-chewing, shadow-eyed zombie, telling us in his postgame hostage-videos why he did whatever he did, which resulted in a horrible Yankee defeat. 

Of all the bleak assessments for 2023 - no LF, no SS, Josh Donaldson at 3B - it's the idea of another year of Boone that most leaves me pondering pro soccer and Connecticut women's basketball. 

That said, some things to remember about Boone:

1. He has led the Yankees to the postseason in each of his five years.

2. Over that period, he has won 6 out of every 10 games. 

3. He's signed through 2024, with a club option for 2025.

4. He would not have been rehired if Aaron Judge didn't like him.

Look, it's not as if Rudy Giuliani is running this team. And Boone seems like an honest, standup guy. Why so much antipathy? Some theories. 

1. His bullpens explode. Always. It's as if he times it out, so that by October, everybody is shot. Maybe that's a "Pressures of New York" thing. Like his predecessors - Joe Torre and Joe Girardi - Boone creates a "circle of trust" around whomever happens to be throwing well - then squeezes that guy like a tube of toothpaste, until nothing is left. He brings in closers for six-out saves - in July. He runs guys ragged, be it Chad Green or Michael King, pushing them until they grab their elbows. 

This we know: No matter how strong the bullpen is in April, it will be a shambles by September. Good luck, Tommy Kahnle! 

2. Even when he tries to fire up the team, Boone cannot seem to light a spark. Some managers thrive on the restless energy of chaos. Billy Martin, for example. They rattle cages and never accept defeat without screaming into the vortex. Boone, on the other hand, mumbles like a beaten spouse.  

No matter what just happened, he'll protect his players. That's viewed as a positive, I suppose, by the Yankee brain trust, which values harmony over edginess. But Boone's postgame defenses of Josh Donaldson last year became a running gag. I think fans resent the sense of coddled stars. Last summer, as the team began to implode, Boone seemed unable to right the ship. Game after game, his moves backfired. Yes, we reached the playoffs, but in this time of expanded postseasons, nobody gives a shit about a wild card.  

3. It's not just Boone, but what he represents: The nepo baby aristocracy of Hal Steinbrenner and his legacy-picked Rasputin, Brian Cashman. Fairly or not, I think fans view Boone as Cashman's hand puppet. They wonder who writes out the lineup. Last June, the Yankiverse had soured on Joey Gallo, but Boone kept playing him, as if trying to spare the front office from admitting a bad trade. 

I think Boone's unpopularity stems from a view that he does Cashman's bidding, and the Yankees need somebody who isn't afraid to break ranks. Don Mattingly might have been that man. Or maybe even Derek Jeter. Boone will never do it.  

You can say the Yankees have reached the playoffs five straight years under Boone, and that's why he deserves to be here. Fair enough. But Yank fans know how those five seasons ended - in dreadful losses. Boone is 0-for-5 in rings. And he's ours for at least two more years. Damn.