Win the opener!
I mean, who thought of this? Instead of quickly falling behind in a series, and then clawing back to face a blood-spurting rubber match, with Jack Curry forehead wrinkling and Suzyn muttering, "Oh, boy..." win game one.
And wouldn't a second win - hey, I'm just spitballing here - tonight - lessen the usual fire alarms?
Thoughts from game one:
1. We have found our 5th starter, and he is Spartacus. Instead of ladling out Clarke Schmidt or Jhony Brito, like a dollop of bathtub gin, start a hot hand from the bullpen. Last night, we spared Brito from the Blue Jays hungry front six. By the time he went through the lineup, the Yankees had a 5-run lead.
2. Jimmy Cordero is a reminder of Cashman's singular greatest talent as a GM: Finding salvageable tools from the scrap heap. We rag about Cash's track record, but let's give jim some sugar here. Cordero and Ian Hamilton (until last night anyway) have saved our bullpen. Meanwhile, Willie Calhoun and Jake Bauers have been critical. Strangely, our current LH-hitting lineup may even pack more immediate punch than the RH side. Could we have a new Matt Carpenter?
3. The Yankee victory strategy is easy: Have Judge hit two. What a difference he makes. Judge is now tied for 2nd in the AL, with 10 - behind Rafael Devers, Luis Robert (?) and Brent Rooker (?) Who dey? (By the way, Anthony Rizzo is tied for third with Googoo-Eyes Joey Gallo and Shohei Otani, among others.)
4. Lone downside of last night: We needed to use the Real Michael K. Seven run lead in the eighth, you sorta want to use the scrubinnies, but Hamilton couldn't cork the bottle, and Michael K took the call. He is our best pitcher right now. Nobody trusts Clay Holmes anymore. At least we rested Wandy. Will Tommy Kahnle ever return?
A game one win. What will they think up next?
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Two Home Runs by Ben Rortvedt this week.
But don't worry Higgy... as the Ben Rortvedt joke goes...
Knock. Knock.
Who is it?
Wait a second I think I hurt my hand.
Wait a second I think I hurt my hand, who?
No, I'm not kidding I think I pulled something.
Or I guess the shorter version would be...
Knock. Knock. Ouch!
Keeping with what’s clearly working here, whilst applying a slight variation to the theme:
Knock. Knock,
Who’s there.
Boone’s got thrown out of the game.
Boone’s got thrown out of the game, Again?
No No No - Yeah but, It’s supposed to go; Boone’s got thrown out of the game, Who?
Of course, but wouldn’t it be great if they would just throw Boone out of the entire season and not just the game so the Yankees would be forced to actually replace him with someone that’s sharp and doesn’t have a brain like “a syrupy, quivering, pitch-like mass that settles to the base of their skull” like AA described yesterday?
Uh, sure but Cashman would likely do something to piss us all off like promoting that “Hit Strikes Hard” batting coach guy into the manager’s spot impossibly making things worse than they already are!
That WOULD truly suck.
Totally.
And after all those “controversial” glances over to the dugout by Judge before he hit his monster shot I was thinking he could actually wind up being our player-manager a few years down the road when he’s a bit deeper into his contract because he’s so poised and confident and talented and cool and all.
Good point. That would be both really old school and very, very cool.
Hey - so what’s the punchline to the Knock Knock joke?
Giuliani.
Giuliani Who?
Giuliani Rimshot.
Who is Ben Rortvedt anyway? He’s appeared in 39 Major League games.
This whole thing about Judge looking at the dugout while he was batting is total bullshit, courtesy of Buck Martinez. He was giving someone the evil eye for being an asshole. But of course, the Jays broadcasters had to use innuendo and try to besmirch the Captain's image. Dickheads.
And yes, I know. Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo. Also, what do they call Italian sodomy? Innuendo.
Any others? Think I covered it there.
Our team feels like it's about to go on a hot streak and move up in the standings.
It feels like it, until their next big injury.
It feels almost as if Donaldson’s return is close to being the same as our next big injury
Home run derby yesterday, and someone forgot to invite the Jays.
Two homers for Judge, who to that point hadn't been having a particularly good year. But it's still early, so let's hope he turned the corner there with the three walks. Up to yesterday, you could've argued that Rizzo was the Yanks best hitter this year, at least statistically. Two homers and three walks, a full house to boot, goes a long way to changing that.
Two Judge homers, both solo shots. It would help to have some more base runners for him. He did have a bases loaded chance and drew an RBI walk.
Someone asked on the local sports news if Judge is the best player in baseball this year. Well, so far at least, he is certainly not. There are dozens of guys having better years so far. But if he keeps up performances like last night, he'll get back on top of the mountain.
Yes, AA, good point! Jackie Donald Duck will bring the team down like a titanic anchor!
I'm not sure why the Yanks don't do the opener thing much more often. You force the other team to prepare for two pitchers, splitting their focus. You can even switch openers the instant before the game starts. Hey, gamesmanship! Playing dirty? Not good for the sport? Certainly, but all's fair in love and war.
Jackie. Ugh.
As the team shows signs of gelling, the classic Yankees move of bringing back a lousy big-money "star" should fuck things up royally.
DFA would be a better idea.
Yeah, Donaldson could be back at the end of the month, but from what I’m reading there doesn’t seem to be a sense of urgency about it from the Yankees. Probably a good thing.
The team needs BP arms, so they’d like to see Kahnle back ASAP. It looks like very early June for him, but given his injury history who knows?
Rodin needs ANOTHER cortisone shot, and guys it’s not looking good..
Stanton still on Spring Break. At least he’s saying the right thing.
Severino rehab tonight. Not sure if the team is seriously considering starting him on Sunday or not.
Anyone happen to know how many wins we have in games that Boone has been thrown out of?
Inquiring mind/s wanna know.
Duque:
I was shocked that The Yankees looked is good and won the game. With the lineup that Moron Boone posted and the pitching. I like Brito. Too bad he has not ceveloped a third pitch. Then again, how many times is this the case with The Yankees. Improving their pitchers doews not seem to be an urgency.
Not to be negative, as I know that is not permitted on this site, but Gleybar? What is wrong with him? Why is he always off a beat? Why does he squint like he does when he is at bat? I don't think he sees properly. He put the Yankees singlehandedly into a position to lose with his bocce ball feed to Volpe. What is up with him? Does he have trade value? I don't think he is ever going to get it, hitting or fielding.
Has he had secret botched lasik?
If Ohtani is all world, what was Mel Stottlemyre?
Today’s Newsday reminded us that on 9/26/64 he went 5-5 AND pitched a complete game, 2 hit shutout. Top that Shoehei.
The first Yankee game I ever attended as a tyke was in ‘65. Mel hit an inside the park Grand Slam and pitched a complete game victory over the Red Sox. That cemented my Yankee fandom. If Mel was active today and did that, he’d have a soft drink named after him.
Although he had a good career for a bad team, arm troubles impacted his performance. In those days, they simply said a pitcher had a sore arm and mostly waited for it to become, well, un-sore. Or not.
My buddy and I are thinking of going to the Moosic game the day after the meetup. What are the odds we'll have a Ben Btfsplk sighting when we're there?
P.S., if you get the joke without google, you're *really* old.
Amen, 999! Ohtani is once again declared All-World...in a game in which he gave up 5 earned runs to the Orioles.
And Stottlemyre was a helluva pitcher—and apparently a good pitching coach. He was one of two men ever to beat Bob Gibson in a World Series game, won 20 games or more 3 times (including 21 wins in 1968, when the Yanks hit a record-low, .214 as a team), 2.97 lifetime ERA, and averaged over 17 wins a year for 9 seasons. He was off to a great start again in 1974, 5-1, 2.45, when the rotator went, and won only 1 more game.
A near-HOF pitcher, who if he'd been on some better Yankee teams might have been renowned. But he never complained.
And how fortunate you were to see that inside-the-park Grand Salami. It's mentioned in Ball Four by Bouton, as an example of how stupid sportswriters are. Somebody asked him what he thought about it, and Bouton said he didn't like it because now all the pitchers would be expected to hit inside-the-park grand slams. His quote was printed as if he were serious.
The Judge kerfuffle is ridiculous. Is anyone left on this continent who does not believe in conspiracy theories? Maybe he was checking out a blonde in the second row, who the hell knows? But this will soon be fanned into more nonsense.
And yeah, Unconscious Torres strikes again. I think the guy really has trouble maintaining focus for 9 innings. Again and again, there's some stupid play in the field, some thrown-away at-bat. He does the least possible with the talent he has.
As for Rodon, is it really possible the Yanks threw away $162 million on this bum because of their medical staff? I want to go work for the Yankees. Apparently there is no level of incompetence that will get you fired.
JM
"Any others? Think I covered it there."
What is the primary ingredient used to make "Stinky Bread"?
Innuendo.
There. Now we're good.
---
As far as Jackie D goes. Gotta figure he doesn't want to be booed and go out as a bum so even if he comes back he will
"re-injure" himself pretty quickly.
Doug, that is a great idea. Maybe Jackie can teach it to hicksy too.
As fans we are failures for not booing Hicks off the stage. We must find new lows.
@JM, the conspiracy theory has gone viral that Judge cheated. It was clear that the bench was still yelling at the umpire after Boone got tossed from the game. And that was what Judge was looking at. Judge is always locked in and NEVER looks anywhere during an at bat...FFS...
Yankee haters looking for something to hang on us, especially our Captain. Totally ridiculous.
Thanks for the extra joke, Doug.
Mel Stottlemyre was a great pitcher, and he could hit. But back then, there was no DH, although Mel probably could've played a position if he had to. He was that good.
God, I hate the Ohtani bullshit bandwagon. MLB fans that flame for p.r., but it's really gross and unconscionable.
@ Horace....except if you're employed by the team as a Strength & Conditioning Coach. In that case, the coach is both incompetent and a scapegoat.
@ Doug....no recipe for Stinky Bread is complete without adding at least a quarter cup of shredded Fromunda cheese!
I don’t believe that nonsense about Judge for one second. I mean, Gardner banging his bat against the dugout roof in Morse Code, sure…
Torres is what he is. Yes, he has trade value, especially with a year of team control left. I’d say all in all, the best trade chip we have…and hey - maybe he does need glasses. Hell, put a pair of specs on him and maybe he turns into Joe Morgan.
For some reason, there's always some bullshit in Toronto. Remember Dave Winfield getting arrested for hitting the bird with a throw? The Blue Jays are a team of amazing underachievers who seem to spend most of their time figuring out new home run celebrations.
The story is, ump makes atrocious bad call, Boone, showing a rare bit of life, chews him out, our guy hits monster, 462-foot home run. But hey, not good enough for all those people who can't live without a grassy knoll...
Can't imagine Boone will be this imaginative, but the Yanks ought to take this and turn it to their advantage. Everybody come out with tape over their mouths or something. Hold up signs saying "Fastball" or some such.
A more likely scenario is the Blue Jays will work themselves up into throwing at Judge his first time up, pretending that they think he cheated. We should prepare for this, and not rush into a brawl or anything. Later on, depending on the game situation, we can retaliate.
Conspiracies exist but conspiracy theorists (of any political bent) are idiots. I'm with Horace: use it against them. Any time a Yankee batter is ahead in the count, look in the dugout. 1-0, 2-1, 3-2, give them a little look-see.
They either concocted the whole Judge drama out of hole-y, smelly shitcloth or they themselves are trying to cover their own dugout discoveries. Either way, it's in their heads. Drive it in deeper. They're mentally weak if they're pushing that shit. And no: I don't mean that word.
Beat the hell outta these trust-fund HOF-kid simps. Don't like the Yankees? Good. Give them another reason. While you're at it ask them who bailed Winfield out after he won them the '92 Series. Surely he was jailed again, after that. No?
Innuendo!
G Torres (R) 2B
A Judge (R) DH
H Bader (R) CF
D LeMahieu (R) 1B
J Bauers (L) LF
A Volpe (R) SS
O Cabrera (S) RF
I Kiner-Falefa (R) 3B
J Trevino (R) C
No Fizz without the Rizz?
Just posted a game thread.
This media bullshit regarding Ohtani makes me wretch. I hope that one of our rivals signs him for 500 million. When his arm blows out that team is stuck with a rather pricey DH.
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