So look, sometime soon - maybe today - Yamamoto will call a news conference and announce that he's signing with the Dodgers for $500 million, all of it deferred until 2030, because - well - he soured on NYC after seeing the pizza rat video, and his Uber driver threw up in the front seat.
Therefore, in the meantime, let's set the Wayback to 2017 and enjoy this from Alibi Ike.
Some IT IS HIGH additions:
Pee Wee Wreath
Bobby Grinch
Ron Santas
Gus Treeandos
Tiny Tim Rains
Pumpsie Green
Red Barber
Yule Blackwell...
Bobby Grinch
Ron Santas
Gus Treeandos
Tiny Tim Rains
Pumpsie Green
Red Barber
Yule Blackwell...
and of course...
Jesus "Ice Cream" Montero
Jesus "Ice Cream" Montero
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25 comments:
Whilst some of us here are unwaveringly hopeful that Yamamoto will sign with the Yankees, many of you simply fear the wurst.
For those of you who have lost your faith in the franchise and have given up all hope I urge you to step away from the balcony window, put down your ketamine and click through to the following link:
https://www.starrcompanies.jp/
YOU are not alone- and neither are your beloved NY Yankees!
The All Manger Team
1B Frankinsence Howard
2B Starlin Castro
3B King Kelly (1)
SS Cresh Davis
RF Myrrh Throneberry
CF Jesus Alou
LF Dave Kingman (2)
C Hank Camelli
DH Babe Ruth
P Michael King (3)
Manager José María Fernández
Starr of wonder, Starr of light
Starr with royal, beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Hal's perfect light
Lettuce
Romaine
Unwavering
I hate to be the bearer of this ridiculous news, but according to Mike Puma of the NY Post, the Yamamoto games are ONLY JUST BEGINNING: "During Yamamoto’s recent meetings with teams, broad contract parameters were discussed, without “serious” offers presented, according to the source.... The sessions served more as a forum for teams and the player to get to know each other." And he says the Mets are planning to bid soon.
Reminds me of a story in 1001 Arabian Nights called "The Half Lie". A guy goes to the market and, upon hearing that a slave tells only ONE lie per year, says to himself, "well, one lie a year is not so bad" and buys the slave. Fast forward a bit, whilst the master is away, the slave suddenly shows up at the master's house, and tears his clothes and starts shrieking that the master died in a calamitous accident. And everybody in the house starts tearing their clothes, shrieking with grief, and eventually, they destroy all of the master's property as well as the house in their grief. The master shows up and finds the entire house destroyed, all his property destroyed. And he finds out that all this was because of the slave's lie. He says, "well, at least he has got that lie out of him, and I don't have to worry about another lie for a year". Whereupon, the slave tells his master that the lie was only half a lie and that he still has a half a lie left to tell before the year is over.
And Heyman says Yam will decide this week.
Dueling reporters.
More from the Post "On Sunday, Yamamoto convened with Yankees officials at an undisclosed location, according to The Post’s Jon Heyman."
According to my secret sources, that "undisclosed location" was a very large cemetery in the Bronx, where HAL, Cashman, Yamamoto were to meet a certain personage by the name of "Mr. Scratch". The meeting was scheduled for midnight. Cashman, however, "mis-remembered" the name and number of the grave where they were supposed to meet, and after the three had spent hours wandering all over the cemetery searching for the spot, they heard from the caretaker that Mr. Scratch had left in a furious rage, thinking that he'd been stood up.
@THOG...could it have been Babe Ruth's grave in Hawthorne, NY?
I hear Abe Vigoda arranged that meeting. I hope he can get us a good deal.
Hoss, Fish sleeps with the fishes.
Everyone knows that the Babe's Bones are kept in a secret chamber 10 stories below Yankee Stadium.
There are many more secret treasures kept there.
Many more . . .
The deadline for Yama is 1/04. The market being discussed is between $300 - $350 M.
Still being reported decision will be this week…
Meanwhile, let's see if Miami will take Verdugo for this guy. It would probably take some other players, maybe from both teams.
https://www.mlb.com/news/edward-cabrera-intriguing-trade-candidate
Earlier today, the Yankees claimed INF Jeter Downs off waivers from the Washington Nationals.
You know. you can get away with being an eccentric freak show when you win. With having weird rules and claiming to adhere to strange traditions, etc. You can get away with a lot. Winning excuses many things.
Now, we're just assholes, plain and simple.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/18/style/yankees-beard-hair-policy.html
Good maybe with Jeter Downs Yanks can end their obsession with IKF
Cole is the highest-paid pitcher if my memory is correct at 34 million per. And I understand MLB contract inflation in 4 years greatly outpaces the CPI over the same time. But at least Cole was a proven stud in American baseball. Mr. Y might have won the Japanese equivalent of the Cy Young Award 3 times. And Ohtani proved capable of handling the extra rigors of an MLB season. But here's the thing: Yamamoto has a much slighter body type than Ohtani. And even Ohtani had to have TJ surgery and deal with other major health issues. Giving Yamamoto as much or more than Gerrit Cole with no MLB track record is absurd. A smart organization would not give him more than a 5-year contract at $ 30 million a year. But the Yankees are not one of those organizations so will get caught up in the hype (greatly engineered by Mr. Y. himself) and overbid for his services.
And that will 100% preclude Hal from re-signing Soto at the advertised annual price of 40-45 million over 10 years. And with the contracts of Rodon, Stanton, Cole, and Judge there is an option of Soto or Yamamoto-not both. My opinion is that Soto is much more valuable over time so choose carefully!
Dillon Lawson (remember him?) has been hired as the Ted Sux hitting coordinator, whatever that is.
And then:
“I’m excited to be joining a great team that’s already moving in the right direction,” Lawson said.
Not saying you're wrong, Carl Weitz. But the age of this Yankees team, and their endless series of bad moves and triggers not pulled over the past 14 years (looking at Harper and Machado, Cashie), have put them in a position where, in my opinion, they HAVE to go for it all.
If they DON'T go way over budget for the next few years, they have to strip the team down, sell it for parts, and rebuild. And they have repeatedly indicated they don't want to do that.
The Yankees love to have their players swinging for the fences on every pitch. Time their management did, too.
Horace.....I agree 100% with your thought. I just don't think Hal will do what needs to be done and that is spending the money needed to fix what the Bloated Front Office has fucked up.
@ Carl, You've got a great point and I was thinking the same. If it takes too much to get Yamamoto, it's better to spread the risk and get several pitchers. Either way, that's something they have to do. They need more pitching, whether they get Yamamoto or not. Like the Duncan Donuts commercials of old, they should be walking in their sleep, muttering "need more pitching ... need more pitching ... need more pitching".
There are guys out there available as free agents. Get them before they're gone. They don't even need to wait for Yamamoto's decision. I would tell Yamamoto to take his time and come back to us last for the final offer, meantime that we're going to work on other contracts and maximize our chances of winning a championship in 2024. So if he wants to win, this is the right choice.
If they win the World Series in 2024, they can do a garage sale. They can let Soto leave. Or they can re-sign Soto and then turn around and trade Yamamoto for 15 prospects. Or trade Cole. Figure it out after they win.
Again, Doug K proves his genius.
At least Myrrh Throneberry smelled good!
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