Tis the season of hope...

Woke up this AM with the following thought...  

If we had a GM and an owner that I trusted I would say that there actually is a VERY good plan in place.

Keep Jazz at third for the year and then next year move him over to second and sign Murakami the (25-26 year old?) Triple Crown level 3B free agent from Japan.  

Ride Goldschmidt for the year and then move Bellinger to 1B and sign Kyle Tucker long term next year. 

It APPEARS that that is the long term plan. But I know I'm giving WAY too much credit to the front office.  

---

But since it is the season of hope...  Just for fun let's say that was the actual plan and they did it. The lineup in 2026 would look like this. 

Jazz 2B 

Murakami 3B

Judge RF

Tucker CF

Bellinger 1B

Stanton DH

Dominguez LF

Wells C

Volpe SS

That my friends is one hell of a line up.  Power. Speed. Potentially scary 1-9 especially if the Martian is real and Volpe and Wells go up a level, which I believe is possible.   

Ain't happening. But it could. It's right there if the goal was to do more than contend. 

Just sayin.

An IT IS HIGH holiday classic... Barry McGuire's Eve of Christmas

The Fox News tree, it is explodin.'

Tucker flairin’, Trump unloadin,’

They re-write laws just to keep us all from votin,’

You don't believe in science, but what’s that phone you’re totin?'

They say even the Jordan River’s got ballots floatin,’

But you tell me over and over and over again my friend,

How you don't believe we're on the eve...

     of Christmas…

#

Yeah, Bitcoin’s so high, I feel like celebratin,’

I’m sitting here, self-vaccinatin.'

Podcast experts say we don’t need no protectin’

Handful of senators still selling ivermectin,

Stockings hung with care, they bring no inspiration.

Bags full of goodies priced high from inflation,

This whole holiday scene is just too frustratin,’

And you tell me over and over and over again my friend

Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve...

of Christmas...

 #

See this air fryer? It was made in Red China.

I bought it in a CVS in Selma, Alabama.

Jeff Bezos may go up for three hours in space,

But when tax time comes, he won’t pay a trace,

The wavin’ of the guns, the playin’ to the base,
Meet your next baby-sitter, and hope it’s not Matt Gaetz.

And you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend,

You don’t believe we’re on the eve...

of Christmas.

Hal Steinbrenner has probably achieved his goal of having the 2025 Yankees contend. Now comes the part where we learn how serious he is about winning

Every year, around now, the Ghost of Yankees Present, aka Hal Steinbrenner, appears in a fever dream to remind us that...

a) Christmas is about peace and love
b) What's important are friends and family
c) Our goal is for the Yankees to contend...

Yep. To contend...  

In 2010, the last year that Hal's troops came to spring training as world champions, this constituted a grand manifesto. But in these days of expanded playoffs, to contend doesn't quite bring the Christmas wish that it once conveyed.

Here is the Yankee lineup, more or less, for now. (We can debate placements, but it's just rearranging deck chairs, no?)

2b Jazz Chisholm
rf Aaron Judge
cf Cody Bellinger
dh Giancarlo Stanton
1b Paul Goldschmidt
c Austin Wells
lf Jasson Dominguez
2b Oswald/Oswaldo
ss Anthony Volpe

It's not Soto/Judge - last year's Mantle/Maris - but, hey, this team should win 85 games and stay relevant through mid-September. From there, our fate rests with the juju gods, the smartass deities who guided Judge's glove on that fateful Game 5 pop fly.

Here we are, at the winter solstice fulcrum, where Hal must decide whether to drop another $20 million on payroll, or to clench his powdered fanny and maintain his status as the second worst owner in Yankee history, a notch behind CBS, and the third worst family sports dynasty in NY, behind the Maras and Johnsons.  

Mr. Steinbrenner, sir, it's Christmastime again. It's your call.

I'm not suggesting any particular acquisition. That's for Brian "Rasputin" Cashman. Whatever happens, the Yankees should contend - that is, "engage in a competition to win something..." If The Martian rises, if  Volpe breaks out,  if Wells reverts to last July's form - hey, we win the AL East! And if they don't, and if/when we get whacked by tweaked carbunkles, well, let the Jenga blocks fall.

Sir, it will soon be the cold, hard part of winter. It will be time for you to decide how badly you want to win. Or if you've already achieved that goal. 

Merry Christmas.

Rickey

“Fuck that! You can change somebody’s life!”

[image or embed]

— Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) December 21, 2024 at 3:37 PM

Those are the words of cheap-ass Mike Piazza.

Ten reasons Yank fans should be ambivalent about the signing of Paul Goldschmidt

It's incredible to realize that the Death Barge has spent all its 2025 "Go to Hell, Juan Soto!" newly found Insta-Cash on Max Fried, Cody Bellinger and - now - Paul Goldschmidt.

If there were ever a "Huh? Whatever... " Yankee pre-Christmas acquisition, Goldschmidt brings the milk and cookies. Welcome to the Bronx Boredom, everyone...

Right now, I plan to spend March reading comic books on the can. Unless The Martian goes crazy in spring training, there will be little reason for excitement. The Yanks will field a team of players in various stages of career decline, with sharply defined ceilings and the ever-persistent auras of twilight.  

Here are 10 reasons why we should not rejoice, recoil, resist, resign, retire, reawaken or re-avow... Ten Reasons Not to Give a Crap.

1. No matter how bad Goldschmidt is, he can't be worse than what the Yankees received last year from the black hole that was first base. Overall, Yank 1Bs hit .216 with 16 HRs - some of the worst production in franchise history. You have to go back to the dark days of John Mayberry (8 HR, .209 in 1982.) Beat that, Mr. Gold.

2. Well, he might not. Goldie is coming off his worst season, ever. He hit .246 with 22 HRs. Damn. I feel like I'm strapped into a moving conveyor belt, with a laser ready to split me down the middle. 

"Do you expect me to cheer, Goldswinger?"

"No, Mr. Fan. I expect you to die." 

3. He's 37, turns 38 in September. I'm sorry, but there is no other way to paint this: At 37, not many players get better.

4. He's cagy, wise and, apparently, a good-hearted clubhouse presence, loved by all - flushes toilets, doesn't hog the soap dish, remembers birthdays... he can turn the world on with his smile, he can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile... 

5.  We'll only have him for one year. If he somehow has another MVP season, the Mets will sign him.

6. Supposedly, he still flashes a solid glove. I think the Yankees plan to market the 2025 team as a "Return to Pitching and Defense." Fine, if they mean it. A good glove at 1B can save an infield. On this, Goldschmidt should deliver. 

7. He's RH, which means a possible, eventual, platoon with Ben Rice. I don't see him as Wally Pipp. The Yankees have no 1B on the farms, busting fences. Maybe somebody will emerge, but right now, it's not as if Goldschmidt is holding the slot for the next Don Mattingly. 

8. There is talk that Nolan Arenado, Goldschmidt's close friend, will waive his no-trade clause with the Cardinals, allowing the Yankees to acquire him. Wow. I hadn't dreamed of recreating the legendary Cards' infield of '23. (Fifth in the NL Central!) Does anyone in the Yankiverse want this?

9.  Whatever happens, Goldschmidt will not generate long term hope. He's a one-year rental, and - with all due respect - he conjures visions of Troy Tulowitski and Kevin Youkilis. Over the years, Yank fans have seen our share of great players in their final incarnations. I mean, does anyone here NOT expect to end up with Mike Trout, say, two broken years from now? 

10. He knows what he's getting into. Goldschmidt is no fool. He used to be certifiably great, and he must have often wondered what it would be like to play in NY, to be feted nightly by the Bleacher Creature rollcall. Well, he's gonna find out. He must understand that NYC fan-support is not automatic. Some very good players ended up with very bad final acts in NY. (See Mayberry, John.) I'm sure he'll give us everything he's got. It's just - you know - 37.

R.I.P. to One of the Greatest

 

Rickey Henderson passes way too early at 65.  

I am so very sad.

Back to bait 'n' switch.

 

So spurned by the aging, declining Christian Walker, the Yankees went more agey and decliney with 37-year-old Paul Goldschmidt.

The one thing to be said for this is that it's only for one year, and not the multiple years and enormous dollars that Walker would have commanded. (The bad things are, of course, that Goldschmidt is a righty who no longer walks much and hit all of .245 last year. Also, did I mention that he's 37?) 

And yet again: so the Yanks have absolutely zero faith in their Triple-A first-sacker who hit .290 with some power and is supposedly an excellent fielder? Just saying.

But beyond all that, the Yankees last night—in the wake of Walker going to Houston—trotted out their same old, same old "Playing for the Future" lies. They aren't going to go for anymore top free agents, they let it be known, because that costs too much in future draft picks. 

And as it is, a bunch will be lost next season, when they go full bore after...Kyle Tucker.

Right.

This is right up there with their bait-and-switch games over the past eight years or so. Remember when they failed to pursue Manny Machado, or any of the Slew of Shortstops who hit the free agent market in rapid succession?

That was all because they wanted to hang onto the bucks to go after Bryce Harper when he hit the market. Or J.T. Realmuto, or Shohei Ohtani. Recently, this was updated to how they had to hang on to Hal's hard-earned money if they wanted to sign Yoshinobu Yamamoto, or Roki Sasaki, or Juan Soto...

It soon got tired then, and it's tired now. The Yankees have demonstrated for decades that they could care less about the state of their farm system. They don't want to be anymore obligated to sign great, homegrown stars in the future, than they feel obligated to sign other people's stars today.

But they need a plausible-sounding excuse, one that we're going to hear over and over again soon, about how we couldn't afford even Alex Bregman or Pete Alonso, because we're cleverly waiting on Kyle Tucker—the guy we wouldn't trade for. 

Well, Bologna's not just a university town in Italy. Expect the "we can't possibly give up so many draft picks because we need them for the big star who's just right" to be trotted out again and again over the next few years.

Spoiler alert: Going forward, Hal has absolutely no intention of spending his money on the top stars—or even the "Plan B" stars—as far as he can help it. Don't believe the hype about draft picks. The Yankees will always find another excuse to make some half-assed effort like this.

So... who's going to get on base this year, so Aaron Judge can drive him in?

A simple game, a Saturday-before-Xmas parlor trick...  

Behold the '24 Yankee leaderboard in On Base Percentage, minus the dearly departed legion of the lost. Our roster sports three with OBPs above .300, which - frankly - ain't much. Not listed is the newcomer, Cody Bellinger, at .325. 

Basically, opposing teams last year did their best to pitch around Juan Soto and Aaron Judge. Now that Soto is gone, it's a long, steep drop in putting runners on base. 

I look at these ghastly numbers and wanna puke. WTF? How is it that Anthony Volpe could not grind out an OBP above - at least - .300? Did anyone ever coach him to bunt? (As Soto did, now and then?) Did anyone coach him to grind, to work the count, to bleed the pitcher? If Volpe added 40 walks to his season, he might steal another 15 bases.  

Then there is DJ LeMahieu, the man known for his fundamentals. Dear God... 

How does anybody feel the Yankees last year were well managed? They were a team that chased HRs, that's all.  

Wanna see what a championship team looks like? Here's the OBP of the 2009 Yankees, along with games played. 
 

Eleven batters with OBPs above .325. And this was not one of history's greatest teams. They were just willing to grind.  

Listen: The 2025 Yankees don't need another HR masher. They need pests. They need walks. They need runners on base. They need a Brett Gardner, a Bobby Richardson, a Mickey Rivers. 

MEANWHILE... Jose Trevino has been traded. A Yankee overachiever, he never seemed to recover from that midseason undressing, when the Redsocks ran wild, exploiting his creaky throws to second. Another bullpen arm. Hey, ya never know... 

Good luck, Jose. 

Yankee Holiday Songbook

And so it is Christmas.  

And what have we done...
Another year over.  

The World Series still not won.

 

Soto's Gone (Jingle Bells)

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Just five miles away.
Uncle Stevie closed the deal while Hal refused to pay...

Hey.

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Yes he joined the Mets.
Hal says it will be okay. Brian's signed some ancient vets.

Dashing all our hopes.
No more tough at-bats.
Our joy must come from bobbleheads 
and buying new themed hats.

We won't see a ring.
Not in our lifetimes.
All we have is this song to sing.
Well, at least it rhymes.

Oy!

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Just five miles away.
Uncle Stevie closed the deal.
While... Hal... refused... to... pay!

---

I'm Dreaming of Bill White's Christmas

I'm dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas,
Just like the ones we used to know.
Where the Yanks don’t stumble
The Red Sox crumble 
And the owner cared less about the dough.

I’m dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas 
Back with the booth I used to like. 

When Frank Messer bought his child bride a trike... 
And, of course, with Scooter at the mic.

I'm dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas
Just like the ones we used to know.
With Ron Guidry sliders 
And drunk all nighters...
Before Billy Martin hit the snow.

I’m dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas 
Back with the booth I used to like...

When the off season would get us psyched...
And, of course, with Scooter at the mic.

 ---

Boonie The Robot Skipper (Rudolph the Red Nosed...)

Boonie The Robot Skipper
Runs things analytically. 

Ignoring the situation.

Percentages is all he sees.  

He sits there blowing bubbles. 

Never chews a player out, 

for bad throws or bad base-running 

Good qualities is all he'll tout. 

Then one day while in the Bronx
World Series on the line.
Watched the whole damn team melt down
Thinking, “We're good. This is fine.”  

Boonie the Robot Skipper
Failed to change the course that day.
Still the front office loves him.
So... he'll... never... go... a-way.
 

Even if the Yankees sign Anthony Santander, simple numbers reveal the overwhelming loss of Juan Soto

For whatever it's worth, whispered bleats about Anthony Santander joining the Yankees seemed to cool yesterday. Might be a calm before the signing. Or maybe the rumors were a head-fake. 

Santander remains the bull-goose slugger in the free agent auction barn, mostly due to one stat: Home Runs. Last year, he hit 44 - including four against the Yankees. (Note: We weren't Santander's biggest victim. Toronto gave up six.) 

The switch-hitting Santander does whack HRs. Last year - his best season, by far - in the clutch offensive category called "Late and Close," he hit 12 HRs and batted .290. Not bad. (By comparison, Soto hit 5, but batted - gulp - .343.) Overall, Santander hit 24 solo shots. (Same as Soto.) If you simply look at HRs, he's Reggie. Dig deeper, and you wonder. 

The more we ponder the possible tandem of Cody Bellinger and Santander, the more we must appreciate the challenge of replacing Soto.

Let's compare two pairs - coming and going? - from last year.

Bellinger                  Gleyber &
& Santander            Soto
AB: 1111                       AB: 1163 
H: 277                         H: 317
HR: 62                        HR: 56
RBI: 180                     RBI: 172
SB: 11                           SB: 11
BB: 103                        BB: 194
BA: .249                      BA: .272
OBP: .308                   BA: .365

Conclusion: Even if we add Santander, we are fucking fucked...

Santander and Bellinger will draw about half the walks that Gleyber and Soto contributed. Remember all those 14-pitch at-bats, when Soto fouls off five breaking balls, glares at the mound, between smiles at the ump - eventually drawing a walk that emulsifies the pitcher? They're gone. Neither Santander nor Bellinger have the chops to replace Soto's On Base Percentage, even when his numbers are diluted with Gleyber's. (Who Late and Close hit 2 HRs and batted .241. And for the record, Bellinger in the same category: 2 HRs, .343.)

The moral? To even begin to replace Soto, the Yankees must add two (2) major hitters. One could be Santander - or an entirely different hitter. Let's not obsess over his 44 HRs. The Yankees need a grinder - a Youkilis, a Brett Gardner - a guy who draws walks and flusters pitchers. Yeah, HRs are nice. But we should have plenty in 2025. We need somebody on base, and I'm not sure that's Santander. 

An IT IS HIGH holiday classic: Welcome Santa to town with the Master and the Boss

 

The Wedding Cake

 Imagine a fancy wedding for which a three tier wedding cake was ordered from the best bakery in town. 

It has elaborate designs in the frosting, candy flowers on the edges, and appropriate replicas of a bride and groom ruling from the top tier. 

Imagine, then, that the staff allows the cake to slip off the tray as they approach the cutting table.  

The staff does its best to recover salvageable parts of the cake, return them to the tray, refashions the frosting design by smearing it around, pick up the few candy flowers which are still in tact, and clean the frosting off the bride and groom and stick them back in the middle.

No one will ever mistake this cake for what it was. 

This is what the Yankees are doing.  The Soto cake fell off the trey and the patchwork has commenced. 

What results will look exactly like what it is....,  a desperate, alternative version of something that once was. The remnant will be edible, and may even have a respectable look to it. 

But it isn't ever going to be close to what the bride and groom were hoping for. 

 What we were all hoping for. 

Binghamton vaults off to early lead in the Golden Snowball

 Competing to be New York's snowiest city. Amazingly, Buffalo is behind. 

Cashman's comments would have you thinking all is fine across the Yankiverse. I assure you, it isn't.

Yesterday, at their birthing ceremonies for Max Fried, Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman - aka: Yankee GM for life - vomited a Linda Blair-worthy stream of marketing mush, which was instantly gobbled up and excreted by the Gammonites of Gotham. Cashman said: 

“We’re getting after it! We’re defending our title with a whole different crew! Our intention is to find a way back to the World Series! Stay tuned!”

He neglected to add, "And buy U.S. Savings Bonds! Jollygood show! Y'all come back now, ya hear! Excelsior!"

Insert shrug here.

So... Here we are, halfway through this snake of a winter, which has already restructured NY's sports landscape for the rest of our lifetimes. This will be remembered as the year the Yankees... 

a. Embarrassed themselves in the World Series
b. Lost Juan Soto to the Mets
c. Became the Number 2 team in NY
d. Gave up their Florida encampment, soon home of the Rays. 

This is the winter that the Mets took New York, our worst disillusionment since 2004, when Boston ate our lunches - a defeat that, 20 years later, has yet to be avenged. Increasingly, it looks like we will go to our graves, forever chasing wild cards, while Boston periodically tanks, regroups and wins the world championship. 

Interesting that Cashman talked about getting "back to the World Series," which is hardly the goal for much, if not most, of the Yankee fan base. We want to win a fucking World Series, not appear in one, and certainly not to end up constantly recalling the most embarrassing Game 5 meltdown in history. 

Cashman can talk joyously about a World Series appearance. The fan base won't join in. The recent October showed us, once and for all, to be careful what you wish for. 

Today, rumors are gurgling that the Yankees will sign Anthony Santander, the Orioles power-hitting RF. (I wonder if Cashman hyped them, off-the-record, during yesterday's event.)

Santander would be - like Cody Bellinger, whom we obtained this week - an incremental improvement. He hit 44 HRs last year, and he switch-hits. He is a rare RF who is not a defensive upgrade over Soto. And he does not get on base often. (Neither does Bellinger or, basically, everybody on the team except Judge and Giancarlo.)

Rumors come and go. Toronto and Boston - both having offered Soto up to $700 million - clearly have money to burn this winter. Are they sitting out Santander, saving for Corbin Burnes or Alex Bregman? Dunno. But I do believe in collusion. The owners are in freefall over Soto's bidding war. And now, with Soto a Met, every Yankee move stinks of desperation. 

So, getting to the World Series? Woopie. Been there, done that. And trying to forget. Damn, winters are cold, when you're Number 2.

Yes, it's that bad.

 

Opening Day, Yankee Stadium, 1923. Col. Jacob Ruppert, Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis, Col. Tillinghast L'Hommedieu Huston, Harry Frazee, Edward J. Flynn, "Boss of the Bronx."

 

We interrupt this holiday cheer fest for a different look at years gone by and the years ahead—all of Brian Cashman’s scuttlings around the Plan B market notwithstanding.

 

How bad is it that your New York Yankees let Juan Soto skip to the Mets? 

 

It’s…

 

—As if instead of saying, “That’s too far from Broadway” when offered the ownership of the Cubs in 1915, colonels Ruppert and Huston had replied, “Chicago? That toddlin’ town? Hey, they have the best record ever over the last ten years, and a new ballpark to boot!”

 

—As if instead of saying, “I need some financing for my next Broadway show,” Harry Frazee had told Babe Ruth, “You’re not goin’ anywhere, big guy. This baseball thing is going to take off—and your salary is doubled to $20,000! You stick around, too, Ed Barrow.”

 

—As if Joe Devine and Bill Essick had told Barrow in 1934, “Forget that DiMaggio kid! He’s got a bum knee!” Or if, in 1946, Clark Griffith had called back Larry MacPhail to say, “Joe D. for Mickey Vernon? You got a deal!”

 

—As if when Yogi Berra asked the Yankees for a $500 signing bonus to match that of his friend, Joe Garagiola, the Yanks had told him, “Forget it, kid, we don’t toss around money like that.”

 

—As if when Mickey and Mutt Mantle went up to St. Louis for a tryout with the Browns, some kindly old front-office soul had told him, “Ah, who cares if it’s raining? You come all this way from Commerce, let’s see what you can do!”

 

—As if George Steinbrenner had told Billy Martin near the end of 1976, “Billy, I was thinking we should go for Reggie Jackson. But if it’ll make you happy, we’ll offer Joe Rudi and Bobby Grich so much money they can’t not come to New York!”

 

—As if Pete Bavasi had called back George in the spring of 1977 and told him, “I may be crazy, George, but the Blue Jays are a young team. Sure, you can have a proven star like Bill Singer for that Guidry kid.”

 

—As if Gene Michael has decided, “Sure, Paul O’Neill’s got a lot of fire. But Roberto Kelly’s a five-tool star.”

 

—As if George had told Stick in the spring of 1996, “Look, Clyde King is right! Derek Jeter just isn’t ready! He’s goes back to Triple-A for now, and we’re sending—what’s his name?—Mariano Rivera to Seattle for Felix Fermin.”

 

—As if Aaron Judge had said after the 2022 season, “I love New York, and all that the fans have meant to me. But I’m taking my game back home to San Francisco.”

Once upon a time, we not only ripped other teams apart—so much so that they plunged into baseball hell for decades—but we even dragged their owners along to the opening of our grand new ballparks, like so many human trophies in a Roman tribute. 

Now...not so much. Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. Or waving at you.

Just keeping up the spirit of the holiday!

An IT IS HIGH Christmas classic: Twuz the Night Before Sterling

 

MLB All-Rudolph-the-Red-Nosed-Reindeer Team

1B   Steve Christmas
2B   Cupid Childs
SS   Dancerby Swanson
3B   Minnie “the Cuban Comet” Miñoso

LF   Tim Raines-deer
CF   Rudolph Ash
RF   Foghorn Bradley

C    Ken Rudolph

DH  Donner Baylor

LHP   Lee Dashner, Al Clauss
RHP   Josh Fogg, Joe “Blitzen” Benz, Bill Slayback

MGR   Santa Alomar

Comet illustrated by John Hartwell. When looking for an image to accompany this team, I found that Baseball Reference had created a lineup, stats and player trading cards for all of Santa’s team. Check out their squad from 2014. 

Merry Christmas, you old building and loan!

Dear Mr. Steinbrenner: Bellinger is a start, but you cannot be done.

Dear Madam or Sir, 

First, thank you, thank you, thank you, for digging deep on Clay Bellinger's boy. I know, I know, I know... technically, it's a trade. But really, it was a purchase: You're taking on a $27 million contract. And skeptics wonder why the Cubs would give up on the guy, as they seem to have done. Doesn't matter. Cody Peteet for Cody Bellinger is a layup. You had no choice. But you followed through. Thanks. 

So, as of today, here's a 2025 Yankee batting order:

1. Jazz Chisholm LH
2. Aaron Judge RH
3. Clay Bellinger LH
4. Giancarlo Stanton RH
5-9. The cast of "Glee." (Wells, Martian, Volpe, Oswaldo, DJ)

Sir, this lineup wins 85 games. It might snag a berth in the expanded, MLB, participation-trophy wild card system. But if The Martian - or anybody, for that matter - flops, or if Judge or Giancarlo turn into Twin Tweaks, we'll spend October watching our Met overlords from below the bar.  

Sir, you cannot be done. This lineup features holes, black and potentially bottomless. We all want Jasson Dominguez to get a shot at replacing Juan Soto - it would be glorious - but we cannot expect it from a 22-year-old. Too much pressure. Too little protection. We must do right by the kid. That means not crushing him.

Sir, you will have to keep writing checks, and your wrist will hurt. There is no alternative. But you do have options among the following free agents.

Alex Bregman. A hated, deceitful Astro, but a professional 3B. Coming off a bad year. (26 HR, .260.) The Mets are on him. You can stab them. (Or, at least, bid up his price.) He's 31. Bats RH. Would move Jazz to 2B, where he should be.

Anthony Santander. Killed us last season as an Oriole. Hit 44 HRs. Career year. Still, he doesn't walk much. His OBP was just .306. Lousy fielder. Would play RF, forcing Judge to CF. He's 30. Switch-hitter, like the Martian. That helps.

Christian Walker. Gold Glove 1B, revered in Colorado, unknown to AL East. Hit 26 HR, .251. - a down year, compared to previous two seasons. Bats RH. He'll turn 34 in March. A slightly younger DJ? 

Pete Alonso. A poke in the eye to the Mets. (But they'd likely pivot to Bregman.)  He's 30, RH. Beloved in NY. Also, comfortable. 

Tanner Scott. Lefty reliever. Appeared in 72 games last year, 22 saves and a 1.75 ERA. He's 30. Remember: Pitching, pitching, pitching. We need him. 

Sir, you need at least one of the above. Better, sign two. The world needs to know that when teams poach Yankee stars - as the Mets, Jays, Redsocks, Dodgers and Padres all set out to do - it shall bring consequences. In this case, a sea-level rise in salaries. 

Sir, as the song says, "It's up to you, New York, New York." Two of the above. Any two will do. Two of the above, and we will stop talking about whazizname. 

Bellinger for Poteet: A trade of two Cody's.

A Cody for Cody deal?

Somebody's got a sense of humor. 

Yankee Holiday Gift Catalog

Don't know what to get that special Yankee fan on your holiday gift list? Don't want be stuck having to put Cole in their stockings?

(That's for JM - he really wanted to see a Cole in your stocking line.) 

Here are some items from the Yankee Gift Catalog that would warm the cockles of any Yankee fan if that's their idea of a good time.  

---

The Juan Soto Bobble Head Collection Starter Set  $149.95  $19.95

This highly collectable bobblehead set honors future Hall of Famer and Yankee for Life, Juan Soto. 

Hey, he’s only twenty six and there are already four of these. Plus, he can opt out of his Met deal in five years so you’ll be able to ADD (or is it ADHD) more to your collection as time goes on.

---

The Anthony Volpe Family Cookbook  $29.95

From the forward by New York Giant Quarterback Tommy DeVito:

“Do you love Chicken Cutlets? Me too. My mom makes the best ones but my agent Sean Stellato couldn’t find a publisher for my cookbook so he got me a few bucks writing the forward for my fellow New Jersyite Anthony Volpe.

I’m sure his Mom makes a good cutlet too. Hey, maybe he and I could do a Chicken Cutlet Parmigiana Eating Contest sometime. It could be a thing. Sort of like the Nathan’s Hot Dog one but instead of doing it at Coney Island we could do it at the Jersey Shore. I’ll call Sean in the morning. in the meantime, enjoy the book.”

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Aaron Judge Dropped WS Game Ball  $43,510

The ball that changed the course of  the 2024 World Series! 

Now you can own this one of a kind (we can only hope) piece of baseball history.

Significant Home Run balls fetch prices in the millions. The Freddie Freeman walk-off-grand slam ball just sold for $1.56 million dollars. Judge’s 62^nd home run ball went for 1.5.  

That’s a lot of money.

The famous error ball market is just getting started. 

Imagine owning Merkle's Boner.

Wait… let’s rephrase that. Imagine owning the ball from Merkle's Boner.  Uh.. hmmn. 

Let’s try this one. Who wouldn’t want the ball that went between Bill Buckner’s legs? 

Yeah. This isn’t going to work...

Just buy the ball.

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This is Fine – The Aaron Boone Story $24.95

From Yankee playoff hero to the third most successful regular season manager in Yankee history this epic tome reveals Aaron Boone’s secrets to relative success.  

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Close Out Special: “How To Run The Base Paths Like A Pro” by Gleyber Torres $19.95   $3.95

This “How To” book by Yankee second baseman Gleyber Torres is a must have for any little leaguer.

The book incudes chapters on stealing bases with advice like “Just run. It’s OK.” and when to try to score from third on a single…  “Go for it they will never catch you.”  

 

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and last...

The It is High. It is Far. It is ... Caught   Team Photo  - Free to Download  

Our gift to you. Re-live the epic get together from August 25th 2023. Just right click and  hit "save image as" and it's yours. Suitable for framing, as are most of us. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

An Above Average Haiku Tuesday ~ Even Old Saint Nick, Doesn't Give a Sh*t ~ Edition

 

The reasons why Cody Bellinger will be a Yankee by Christmas

Year after year, Brian Cashman replays a yuletide practical joke on the last true Gammonites, Ken Rosenthal and Jon Heyman, who - little known fact here - are actually the same person. Nobody notices, because one of them - dunno which - wears a bow tie. Who can think in the presence of a bow tie? 

Anyway, here's what happens: Around - say - mid-December, Cashman dog-whistles a trade rumor, and the Twins of Typeface chase it like a beagle after a sausage truck. The deal goes nowhere, and the bow tie clenches, awaiting the next whisper. Generally, Cashman operates on his own secret wavelength, like Taylor Swift, always surprising us, though not necessarily in a good way.

So, what should we make of the current rumors linking the Yankees to Cody Bellinger? 

Yesterday, Rosenthal said: "It's a financial negotiation. I expect at some point Bellinger will be a Yankee."

Heyman said: "The Yankees want the Cubs to pick up a chunk of the two years and $52.5 million remaining on Bellinger's contract... They are believed to be more than $10 million apart on an agreement."

If we're really talking about a $10 million gap, that's clam dip money. 

I get the feeling Bellinger is coming our way. Here's why:

1. The Yankees keep whispering that Bellinger would become Roger Maris, if blessed by the Stadium's right field porch. Last year, he hit a mere 18. Apparently, somebody analyzed the entire season and projected that - were he a Yank, Bellinger would have hit 26. Not exactly Reggie Jackson. But who cares? These analyses are bogus, but that's how the Yankees crunch. 

2. Bellinger plays two positions - CF and 1B - both of which are trouble spots. He seems to be very good, defensively, at either. Fun fact: He came up as a 1B and was moved to the outfield, because of his speed. He has a Gold Glove in RF (2019), and he's played full seasons in CF and 1B. He would give Cashman flexibility in building the rest of his roster. If they want to chase Alex Bregman, they can. If they prefer Anthony Santander, they can do it.

3. He is the son of Clay Bellinger, a link to the last great Yankee dynasty. The Yankees seem to like this bullshit. (Al Leiter's nephew last August.) It would make him sort of a local boy, an Anthony Volpe-type, even though he was born in Scottsdale, Arizona. A homecoming, of sorts, though completely bogus.

4. He's only 29. I say "only" because we're talking about the Yankees.

5. The Yankees seem ready to punt on Spencer Jones, their top OF prospect after The Martian, (who they won't trade because of the hype investment.) Jones, now 23, last year in Double A hit .259 with 17 HRs. Not terrible. But he struck out 200 times. That's a shitload of Ks. At 6'6", he still looks good coming off the bus. And don't get me wrong: I'm not angling for such a trade. But I think Cashman will pull the trigger, and Jones will be the lynchpin.  

Listen: I try to avoid trade rumor-mongering. Whadda I know? But if $10 million is what separates Bellinger from the Yankees, I gotta believe he's on the way.  

As Long As We’re Doing Christmas Wish Lists…

Here's mine...

1) The Return of Ronald Reagan   

OK not really.  That would be gross, scary, and not where I'm at politically. I just want to hear him say, "Mr. Commissioner, teardown that paywall." and give the people back their free Yankee games.

2) A Hard Cap 

Not on player's salaries. A cap on the number of advertisers viewers/listeners can be exposed to in a given inning.

I understand that it’s a business, so in-between innings is fine, but enough already. 

No more ads on the mound, the bases, the uniforms, the 34^th pitch, the first foul ball, first walk, first mound visit, and I never want to hear, “He rounds third and heads for home… and if you’re heading for home for the holidays fly United… he’s out!"

Believe me, it’s coming.

3)  An ESPN televised full blown, annual retirement ceremony show

Not to honor the players across all leagues but to finally get Flo and her crew off the air. Let them offer their tearful goodbyes and their thanks to the people who made all possible and then disappear... forever. It’s the only way to stop them.

Toss in the Toyota woman and could someone please, please, end the Alllstate triumvirate of Jake, Patrick Mahomes, and, oh hell, anybody that is appearing with them. Please. 

Next year we can lose the Geico Gecko and the caveman guy.

Quick Note:  I actually like the actor who plays the caveman. He did a little-known show called Quick Draw that is available on Hulu. It is a loosely scripted semi-improved western series about “Sheriff John Henry Hoyle and his reluctant Deputy Eli introduce the emerging science of forensics to an 1875 Kansas town.” It’s actually pretty damn funny. I’ve watched it a couple of times.

4)  Like 13Bit said … Lower the damn music!

Or get better speakers and better music. If you want to see it done right go to Citi Filed. Their music makes it a party. Yankee Stadium music is an assault.

And last…

5) Add the Golden-At Bat ASAP!  

To the pile of horseshit ideas and light it on fire. Stop trying to make the game what it’s not. Speaking of which, get back to fundamentals.  Hit the cutoff man. Run out all batted balls. Learn to bunt…  oh and fire Cashman and Boone.  I know that the last one is a given but it can’t be said too many times.

WHO’S BEHIND THE NJ DRONES? IT IS HIGH - AND ORSON WELLES - OF COURSE!

THE ORSON WELLES CHRISTMAS STORY

BREAKING NEWS, AS WE COME ON THE AIR... 

A Missouri town, terrified by a talking snowman in a top hat!  

Jack Frost is in trouble again, this time for nipping at a nose! 

Cheese balls in schools, are they a threat to our children? 

It’s Christmas Eve, I’m Wolf Blitzen, and this is Frost News.

But first, the world tonight is mourning the death of philanthropist Christopher Foster Kringle, who passed away today at Santadu, his workshop north of Canada. Known for his hiring of migrant elves, Kringle won the 1938 Noel Prize for his work on the annual Christmas Eve Airlift. 

We’ll have more later on the man called “Citizen Kringle,” including his cryptic last words, but first, we take you to Grovers Mill, New Jersey, where Harold Angel is standing by, awaiting the traditional Christmas Eve arrival of Santa. Harold?

Thanks, Wolf. Any moment now, we expect Sleigh One to clatter down on a nearby rooftop, officially launching the night before Christmas. Helpers tell me Santa will read a statement on the death of his mentor, Chris Kringle, and then – wait! – there’s a bright light, up on high. Here comes Santa Claus! Pulled by his amazing team of reindeer, surrounded by - drones? Flashing lights. Wait – no – That’s not a sleigh! It’s a flying saucer! FLYING SAUCERS! NOT OF THIS WORLD! COMING IN FAST! FIRING ON US!  (Cough) THICK CLOUD. (Gasp.) CAN’T BREATHE! RUN, EVERYBODY, RUnghhhh- 

Hark, Harold, HARK!  We’re experiencing technical difficulties. We will return to Grovers Mill as soon as possible. Meanwhile, back to our top story - the death of Christopher Foster Kringle. Correspondent Jake Wrapper has been studying Kringle’s final words and – what? – I’m told we have a special bulletin - we now go to the White House, where George Shopandspendalot is standing by.

Wolf, moments ago, the Pentagon issued the following statement: 

“At 6:32 p.m., Eastern Christmas Time, alien invaders from Mars attacked Earth, enshrouding our planet in a dense, polarizing cloud. As a result, tonight's global airlift from Santa has been canceled. There will be no holiday, no toys, and no joy, whatsoever. Nevertheless, the President is urging Americans to, ‘Remain merry.’” 

George, regarding this cloud… can't somebody guide Santa’s sleigh tonight?

Impossible, Wolf. The weather outside is frightful. 

What's happening in Congress?

I was just there. Not a creature was stirring. 

All through the House?

Not even a mouse.

What about the Senate?

The usual fa-la-la. Frankly, it’s beginning to look a lot like Doomsday. 

Everywhere you go?

Everywhere you go.

Hold on. Joining me now is the owner and CEO of Frost News, Elon Scrooge, the world's richest man. Sir, what can you tell us about this attack?

Wolf, these drones are the latest in a string of Martian attempts to hack Christmas. On Thanksgiving, they sent heavily antlered reindeer to my home, after falsely claiming I used mistletoe to grope Prancer and Vixen. In the recent election, they were caught numerous times in the act of stuffing stockings. Now, this cloud is grounding all flights. We better watch out, because it won’t be Santa going down the chimney tonight. It’ll be Christmas! Bah!  

What can we do?

We can learn to speak Martian. If they’re lucky, kids will get lumps of clean coal, along with Bitcoin. Frankly, it’s for the best that Santa can’t fly, because nobody can afford milk and cookies. This holiday's on ice. 

Thanks, sir, it’s always a pleasure. Joining me again is Jake Wrapper. Jake, it’s hard to list all the reasons we should be terrorized and demoralized. But let’s try: Chris Kringle is dead, Mars has attacked, and we’re stuck in a thick cloud. Can anybody guide Santa’s sleigh tonight? 

No chance, Wolf. It’s one foggy Christmas Eve. Besides, sources tell me Santa’s team of reindeer is rife with name-calling and dissent. One member has even been banned from future reindeer games. 

What about Chris Kringle’s mysterious final words? Could they possibly offer a way to save Christmas?

I don’t know, Wolf. Before he passed, Kringle uttered one cryptic word: “NoseRed.” That’s all. “NoseRed." 

Hm-mm. I wonder what he meant?