I'm pretty sure this news will be worth a giggle for many Yankee fans:
Yes, Señor Cubos de Sudor will be causing heart palpitations aplenty for Red Sox fans next year.
I'm sure most Bostonians are praying that the writer spelled "Soto" wrong and was too low on the salary when he wrote the article.
Buena Suerte, amigos.
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15 comments:
That's pretty funny.
Getting back to our undying obsession...JM, you could be right about Juan Soto. He could go all Stanton on our ass, the moment after we sign him. But since they don't seem to have any other way to develop the team, I say go for it...
...Cody Bellinger SHOULD have been a classic dumpster dive for Cashman. Left out there for cheap, at just 27, nobody knew if he was able to come back. Yanks might've really made a run, if they'd had him in 2023, and mediocre as he was last year, he still would've made a much better outfielder that Flopsie Vertigo. But Cashie couldn't even do that right...
Please go to Boston in the Springtime...
and watch the batters smash your pitches off the wall.
Do they know your name's the Water Cannon?
and that you will walk everyone, right through the Fall.
Please go to Boston we mean it...go!
and add to their misery.
Hey Meltdown Boy you've always been a clown.
Boston's exactly your kind of town.
They're chuckle heads and they're too dumb to see...
You throw too straight, even if it's 103.
...What the Yanks are doing now is, no surprise, too clever by half. They think nobody's noticed their endless shenanigans over the past few seasons. They think that, the longer they stay in the hunt to sign Soto, the more likely we will all be fooled into thinking, hey, they gave it the old college try.
Horse hockey. The longer they let this go on, the more the Yanks are building up pressure, convincing fans that we really do have a chance to sign Soto. When they finish fourth, again, there is going to be an almighty explosion.
Beautiful, Doug! Just beautiful!
In unrelated news, Colace and big Tony give a shout out to Duque's gospel.
https://people.com/sports/gerrit-cole-talks-weird-stuff-the-yankees-do-to-create-magic/
"Last night, Rizzo was talking to me about a bunch of nonsense. We got a runner on, and he got a base hit," he recalls. "And then I had to listen to the nonsense for the rest of the inning because we didn't want to mess up the Juju."
Return to my undisclosed secure location until there's actual Yankee news. Carry on...
Doug, a great twist of the pen! You got a big smile from an aching back...
So now it's being reported that five teams are at six hundred million, seemingly for thirteen years. That is a lotta cannolis my friends. Is he really worth two number one starters?
Maybe not—if you can identify two, number-one starters.
Well that's true, but you can buy two #2's who believe that they should be paid as though they are #1's. Now take Blake Snell for example....
But we are having this discussion as though the Yankees care, as though Hal gives a shit. Perhaps everybody is engaging in a form of sane-washing for these assholes. After watching them make a move for the last 20 years, it's hard for me to believe that they are really interested. When they are truly interested, they move fast and quietly and get it done. Doesn't happen much anymore, but that's the way they do it. This is all for the public benefit.
Soto is and would be great to have, for sure. I just don't trust Cashman and Hal. With or without Soto, I think they'll fuck up this offseason. They're so good at it.
I second Kevin's emotion. And the woman in the original song always struck me as the smart, mature one. The singer was a drip and a clown.
I'd take Burnes and Fried. And if they don't work out, they can start a vaudeville act, like Burns and Allen.
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