Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Is DJ a new Setback Sevy? and other existential questions, as the end of April looms

Last night, the Death Barge bested a tough, youthful, scrappy ballclub, so plucky that no less than three cities - Oakland, Sacramento and Las Vegas - currently claim them. (See, Stang? That's how you jinx an opponent.) They topped a marquee rollcall of Olympian sluggers - RUIZ! NODA! ROOKER! BROWN! NEVIN! GELOF! BUTLER! LANGIELLERS! ALLEN! YOURNAMEHERE! - by a score of 4-3, thanks to big hits from Giancarlo and Ratso Rizzo, both of whom lifted their BAs into the .230s. 

The Yanks lead the AL East by one half-game over the recovering tankaholics of Baltimore, which we'll face next week after a trip to beer garden Milwaukee.

Once again, our Dream Team 2020 struggled to score - winning via a nonstop firehose torrent of bullpen arms, which will likely turn to dust by June. To be or not to be... When will this lineup hit? That is the question...

Listen: Aside from Cleveland - a city that considers Cher a Hall of Fame rocker - nobody in the AL has a shutdown staff, and the Indians Commanders Guardians soon will drop their guard. We play two home games against Las Oaklamento. Losing either is not an option.

Other news bits...

Oswaldo game logs
1. DJ LeMahieu's celebrated rehab in the dirt leagues last night lasted all of 20 minutes, before his foot barked and he called it a night. He'll get more tests. This is horrible news. It's also normalcy in a Yankiverse that remembers Pavano and Severino. 

DJ hasn't been himself for two years now, and it's time to fear the worst: That he won't be back, or that he'll be compromised, and that Oswaldo Cabrera will soon hit a California mega-drought.

Lately, we've sipped longingly from the Oswaldo-has-figured-it-out punch bowl, but his batting average is falling to - well - where? He was among league leaders. Now... when will it level off?

We're already hoping he can platoon with DJ, but what if 3B becomes a wipeout? We could be back to a bottom third that recalls Lyle Overbay and Jason Nix.

We were told this was a different lineup, a transformed batting order. Exactly how much Yankee gaslighting occurred in March? 

2. Bernie Williams is prepping to play with the NY Philharmonic. Congrats are in order. Cynics will grumble that an ex-Yankee great surely gets preferential treatment, and yeah, there aren't many Core Four members on Spotify. But back when my sons were attending SUNY Purchase, a lonnng time ago, Bernie was taking classes there, honing his guitar skills. 

The lone Parents Weekend I attended, Bernie appeared in an open forum, prompting a crowd so large that the event had to be beamed onto the quad. The guy has put in the work. (As have my sons, BTW. Buy their album, dammit. The Guardian calls them "one of today's great American bands.")  

3. The reality here: If you were to tell me that Gerrit Cole wouldn't throw an inning, and that Aaron Judge would hit .183 through the first four weeks, I'd expect a lot worse than 16-8. 

We keep waiting for the floorboards to cave. I still believe Judge will heat up and lift this team for a month. It's too soon to drink the Draino and/or measure the bridges. But in the backs of our heads, we have to wonder if the Yankees are not telling us everything about Judge's foot. And that's cause for concern. 

45 comments:

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Duque,

A little later usual this morning. I was worried that you were a victim of Stang's Series 4 De-atomizer.

More concerning than DJLM is that Judge may become the next Setback Sevy.

JM said...

It's getting kinda obvious that DJ may well be done. Rizzo, depending on how he does for the rest of the year, might be done, too. Stanton has been done for a long time. Judge may be prematurely done-ing before our eyes, who knows. Gleyber has been looking done-ish, but he's too young. Trevino--whose recent hits seem like a mirage in the desert...or even the dessert--is getting there.

Aside from that, we're in great shape.

Or, as a poet once put it, "And who understands? Not me, because if I did I would forgive it all.”

He was, by the way, Donne.

AboveAverage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AboveAverage said...

Impressively concluded, JM.

Those who are not done but perform as if they - are D U N G.

Any way you pinch it, this team currently has more than its share of D U N G.

And D A N G S T A N G - just like Roofus (although we are certainly not alike) I too feared that you were responsible for a predawn
de-atomization of E.D.

As a matter of fact….you may have already eliminated him many days ago and are using A I to write his posts.

Is there anybody nearby E.D.’s double wide to stop by to do a wellness check?

Roofus, can you dispatch a FREEDONIA security detail to do a flyby?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Freedonia is broke due to the President pillaging the treasury. That and the war with Sylvania (not to be confused with Mildred Lopez's stomping ground) mean that Freedonia can no afford jet fuel or the sterno for the hat air balloon. Still has a lot of hot air, but not in the balloons.

I hope HAL doesn't read this site. He may decide to add dung to the special rat feces menu.

AboveAverage said...

Roofus - it is already part of the Reggie Tapenade at the NY Yankees Steakhouse

Doug K. said...

JM - Donne Baseball?

HoraceClarke66 said...

HANK LIVES! HANK LIVES! HANK—gurgle, gurgle, snap!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Be assured, good people, that that was just a technical glitch, and that this is NOT a HoraceClarke66 AI bot.

Beautifully said, JM!

And as for being done...

Yeah, this is what happens with so old a team. They can't heal from the injuries. Sure, the years they turned 32, Babe Ruth hit 60 homers and batted .356, Joe D. hit .315 and won the MVP, and The Mick hit 35 homers, drove in 111 runs, and had an MLB-best, 1.015 OPS.

Ah, but we were so much younger then, we're older than that now.

Thanks to the latest in crack(ed) training and health regimens, this Yankees team is way older than the calendar says. I doubt if any of the big boppers are coming back, Gleyber is just going to be Gleyber, and Soto will run for Queens at the end of the season.

That will make Cashie's firing of Boone all the easier—along with HAL's new, cut-rate rebuilding program. That won't work, of course, with The Brain in charge. But take consolation in the fact that Cashman is 56. He can't possibly last more than another 25 years, and by that time, HAL's heirs will be ready to try to win again!

Victory is ours! By 2050! (Maybe)

BTR999 said...

The cognoscenti have been whispering that Japanese 3B slugger Munetaka Murakami (MM) would be coming to the Yankees next year. He extended his contract, so he won’t be available until ‘26, if then. The team’s recent track record with Japanese players does not inspire confidence.

Meanwhile, DJLM is done as an impactful player. Yes, we’ll see his carcass dragged around the diamond again, but he’s through. Lesson is : no long term contracts to players in their 30’s. Cabrera? Simply regressing to the mean. He’s a 26th man type, has value as such, but nothing more than that. Right now Third Base is a Dead Zone for us, and there ain’t no help a-comin’.

AboveAverage said...

I am so, so very, very sad now that it appears that DJL is likely done (dung).

Now Judge will never fully emerge from his slump because his defective toe will not have DJ’s defective toe to play with.

As you know, a happy toe makes your world glow and keeps you high instead of low.



Kevin said...

Players who costs as much as Soto will are only of real value to teams that are on the VERGE of going over the top. Otherwise the rest of the roster will suffer because of cost. Look at eh Angels and the Dodgers over the past 5-10 years. Hell, one Soto buys five or so All-Star caliber players! Can Soto provide that type of WAR year after year? And if he gets hurt? Does anyone Really think that Soto is worth five pitchers at seventy mil/year for say, seven years. Or a really GOOD infield? Maybe I'm missing something, I'm getting up there and some of you guys are dragging me along ;-)

Pocono Steve said...

The only question remaining with DJLM is whether he's Ellsbury done or done done.

JM said...

Oswaldo is not a bad third baseman.

JM said...

And I don't think he's done hitting. If he can do .280, fine.

BTR999 said...

What about a bionic toe. (Asking for a friend)

BTR999 said...

Don’t skip Neil Keefe’s latest, ripped from our collective gut:

https://keefetothecity.com/yankees-thoughts-boo-hoo-aaron-judge-is-getting-booed/

DickAllen said...

Thanks for that link BTR.

After I finished it I felt like a dog that threw up and then ate it's own vomit.

This was the worst of it:

"The more one-run games they play in, the more Boone’s in-game decisions becomes vitally important. If there’s any part of the Yankees standing on the tracks waiting to be destroyed by the regression train it’s their play in one-run games when managed by Boone."

What a mess. And, as has already been said here many times:

Fuck Hal, Fuck the Intern and Fuck Boooooone

13bit said...

tighten your pack straps and your boots, men, and make sure nothing is jangling. keep your feet dry and protect your testicles. it's going to be a long march ahead of us...

The Hammer of God said...

@13bit, Hell, that is some of the best damn advice I've ever heard. Well said, well said! Ranks right up there with "crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women".

AboveAverage said...

words to live by - - - bitty - - - words to live by

one should always protect their testicles at all times

i learned this lesson well when MANY years ago a friend suffered a nasty torsion which sadly resulted in him losing that testicle

(and i'm not talking about him accidentally dropping it at his local post office or leaving it behind in the dairy section of trader joe's either)

not a fun experience for a teenager, so i've been told

13bit said...

This journey won’t be measured in miles, but in years. Think “the odyssey.“ some of us may not make it to the other side. Those of us who do will be older and probably bitter. And those of us survive will be rewarded with the prize of having to pay a lot of money for World Series tickets. Sometimes, winning is losing and losing is winning. Let us enjoy each other‘s company now and then move out on the long dusty trail.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The road to Ithica was a very long and circuitous one.

AboveAverage said...

ITHICA! Can we stop at Purity Ice Cream? Asking for a friend….

Rufus T. Firefly said...

...the greek island, not the kollidge town

AboveAverage said...

Then Roofus - there is always T H I S:

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g189459-d4341925-Reviews-Dodoni_Frikes-Ithaca_Ionian_Islands.html

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Odysseus would have loved it.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Won't be stopping at a Phoenician trading station, but plan on having dinner here next month:

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g194867-d2027542-Reviews-Ristorante_La_Cucina_del_Tramonto_d_Oro-Praiano_Amalfi_Coast_Province_of_Salerno_.html

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Did the hitting coach take the night off?

AboveAverage said...

He's at the bar sucking down all the old stock of Genesee Cream Ale.

Why do you ask?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

A few of the dung heap seem to have gotten hits.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Screaming Creamers. 59 cents a quart at Michaud's Market in Burlington, Vermont back in the day.

And worth every penny.

JM said...

Ballantine Ale, man. That's the ticket.

AboveAverage said...

Hammy on the Slab!!!

AboveAverage said...

And there will be handshakes!

Sorry……

The Yunkeez VIN!

Pocono Steve said...

Woo hoo!

JM said...

Rizzzzzzzzz

ranger_lp said...

And now all is right in the world….

AboveAverage said...

But what of STANG?

Does he HANG?

Was there a BANG?

Pierced by a FANG?

Did a shovel go CLANG?

Please lettuce know.

ranger_lp said...

He got beat up by a GANG...

AboveAverage said...

Well played Ranger

Kevin said...

Well Razors Ripped my Flesh! Seriously though, many/most of these slumps wouldn't even be noticed if it was July. Every time A Yankee player over thirty goes into a slump he has ALS, if he slumps before he hits thirty he's another bum who should be traded while he still has value. As long as the pitchers stay healthy (extremely unlikely) we'll be in it to the end. So splash some Aqua Velvet on your face, and enjoy! I believe that Amazon has an early season seppuku set on sale. I'm looking for a volunteer to be my Second.👺

The Hammer of God said...

Kev, I'm always up for being a second. I do a clean cut. But I'd be awful sorry it'd be you. Let us re-enact a passage from Homer's Odysseus instead. The scene where Odysseus kills all the suitors in the palace hall. Brian Cashman can play Antinous, who was shot in the throat with an arrow whilst drinking from a goblet of wine.

@ 13bit, "Long Dusty Trail" or maybe "Long Trail to Nowhere". Would make great movie titles! I love road movies, with camping out, scavenging, skirmishing. Whole lotta fun!

Kevin said...

Hammer, I like your idea a LOT better!!!

Kevin said...

Hammer, I thought it was Kirk Douglas who shot the arrow. Oh well, I'm starting to wonder if I was actually in these old stories. You know, "is it real, or is it Memorex"? I can buy memories for you wholesale...