1. We won.
2. Zone of Death (in yellow) went 6-16, drove in all 5 runs.
3. Instead of partying, Verdugo changing diapers.
4. Luke Weaver finally avenges Yanks v Tigers 2002 trade for Jeff Weaver.
5. Team not rattled by name of obvious juju nemesis, "Casey Mize."
6. First time in career, Judge shows fury over home plate ump calls.
7. Postgame analysis shows Yanks got favorable strike zone from home plate ump.
8. Right now, Clay Holmes is unhittable.
9. Stanton inability to sprint only cost team one infield hit.
10. Nobody got hurt. (As far as we know.)
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70 comments:
There is joy in Yankville...
11. My penis did not fall off.
#7: that's probably why they won.
Rizzo finally looks like he's waking up, a quarter of the way through the season. But that's always when you have to worry about the guy getting hurt, another weird injury. When he's playing like shit, you hope that he is hurt, because other explanations would be even worse. I think he hits better when he's lower in the order, which is understandable. Pitchers tend to concentrate on the 3, 4, 5 hitters.
Anyone see the Mets game against the Tampons yesterday? They had a new starter make his MLB debut, Christian Scott. Looked pretty good.
Mutts still punted the game away in the end, with Adam Ottovino (Mr. Zero) doing his thing (courtesy of Black Sabbath):
What you gonna be, what you gonna be brother?
Zero the hero
Don't you wanna be, don't you wanna be brother?
Zero the hero
When you gonna be, when you gonna be brother?
Zero the hero
I'm glad that they are playing well of late, however I have decided that instead of going to a Yankee game next month I will attend the Cricket World Cup being held on Long Island in June.
This gives me thirty days to:
1) Learn how Cricket is actually played.
2) Pick a team to root for.
3) Learn what counts as a good play.
4) Learn what makes for good strategy so I can mercilessly criticize the manager for failing to implement it.
4a) Learn if the manager is called "the manager" so I'm screaming the proper invective.
5) Hope that the Angel Hernandez of World Cup Cricket isn't behind the plate at the game I attend.
5a) Learn if there is an ump and what it is that he is failing to do.
6) Start to drink the national beverage of what ever country I pick to root for.
7) Learn to shout, "This guy sucks!" in twelve languages.
and
8) Buy a Cricket World Cup '24 tee-shirt.
Rufus--"Heil, Honey, I'm Home!" had only one episode and it aired only in Britain, it being a British show and all. It's a satire of American 1950s sitcoms using Hitler and Eva as the "Ricky and Lucy" of the show. It's incredibly offensive and bizarre, and I like it for just those reasons. What a strange idea.
But then, "The Producers" wasn't exactly sweetness and light when it came out in the 60s. Though with Dick Shawn's Hitler, it was hard to be TOO offended. The British show reached new levels of offense by adding the Jewish neighbors as the "Fred and Ethel" types.
And the Yankees reached new levels of offense yesterday not seen since Milwaukee. (Notice the smooth Marlon Perkins segue there.)
Here’s a general question that I’m very curious to know the answer to now that I’ve read and throughly considered #11 above, and that is simply:
How often do penises fall off?
Asking for interested members everywhere.
Penises can be most mercurial.
Also detachable.
https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4?si=XHF48L-vl8sm8x7Q
Ncely played, ~ winWinny ~ for a Win.
You may take the rest of the day off.
@Doug...I'll try to help here since I watch the sport..
You will be watching a T20 match. Each team bowls 120 balls which are in groups of 6 which is known as an "over" thus 20 overs in T20. You can look up the other rules but I'll give up a couple of specifics to answer you query...
4a. There are the coaches who work on team development. But the most important player is the Captain. The Captain makes the on-field decisions based on what the coaches want to implement. Sometimes, there are discrepancies. The coaches which are at the oval have computers to look at statistics as cricket has become more analytical...
5. As in baseball, there are best and worse umpires. For the most part, the one's I've seen on television don't make obviously bad calls. They have a replay umpire for close wicket calls...
5a. I've copied this part from the internets...
To preside over the match, there are two on-field umpires present. The umpires are different in the positions and that makes the difference. There is one umpire who stands just behind the bowler's wicket. He is the most important umpire and he decides and acts as a judiciary for most of them. There is another umpire standing with a side view from the batsman's view. He is called the square leg umpire, the reason of the name being the filed position is called square leg. He helps the main umpire for many decisions that concerns his views. If he is able to see better, then he helps the umpire. The professional matches have the other option called third umpire. Third umpire has the technology to support him (replay). If there is a condition for the umpires on field to make flaws or if there are any difficulties, there is a third umpire who has an access to television replays.
6. For years I've backed the West Indies team so plenty of Red Stripe is involved...
7. Can't help you with that...cricket is a gentleman's sport and you rarely see contention outside of the actual competition...
Ranger - Thank you. It's a good start. Perhaps I can be more gentlemanly in my abuse...
"Egads! I've seen better bowling at Fleetwood Lanes on beer league night"
"Hmmm. You call that being a Batsman. More like a Robinsman to me"
and
"This is why you were colonized!"
Nice use of the dynamic duo Doug
Do you bowl?
more of an edibles guy.
Actually I haven't bowled in a long time. I would though. I was always marginal. 120-130.
Rizzo sitting today.
Cabrera at 1B, Hurdy Berti man at 3B
Rain threatening.
Cricket is a great sport. Ahead by 80 runs and you'll moan "they're gonna lose!"
Plus, you bat until you're out. Ichiro could probably still be good at it at his age, if he wanted a second career.
And they break for tea..
Which is Australian 🇦🇺 slang for fermented beverages. I'd root for them.
On the YES Network Batting Practice show, they noted that Giancarlo Stanton has "hit safely in three of his last five games."
Look out, Joe DiMaggio.
Bern, don't be so hard on him. He's been on a tear:
Splits GP AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO
Last seven days 6 24 1 4 1 0 0 2 2 9
(almost) .167 over the last week!
Burning up the league, our Gianny.
In a scalable world - it is reason to celebrate - so if he gets to four games shake up a Champagne Margarita and go nuts, people!
Yes, happy Cinco de Mayo! If not for that, they'd be speaking French south of the border.
Rufus, I'm eagerly awaiting the upcoming ToppsNow card memorializing the historic tear that Giancarlo's been on.
I hope it's a 3D number.
Great judgement and hustle by Vertigo on that flyball. But hey, he managed to blow a bubble while chasing it.
Winnie with the first King Missile mention of 2024. Excellent. What a strange, strange oeuvre that guy has.
Bum break on the ground-rule double—but a nice piece of clutch hitting.
Isn't cricket basically "one old cat"?
Bitty, glad to hear it.
Skeeball has settled in. Two run maximum from here on out. We'll see if the pitching holds.
According to a Fangraphs search, no player has ever recorded a hit after the organist has played "La Tarantella" in his honor.
Nestor going nicely thus far.
Michael Kay is a goat blowing ass.
Wet day in the Bronx. The umps will let them play until someone tears an ACL.
I know. Basically more fan torture.
Also, is it just me, or does Stanton take more strikes than ever?
Took two last time up—then struck out on what was a ball. Took one right down the middle before striking out this time.
You can't hit for average, you can't run, you can't play the field, you had SWING THE BAT, YOU USELESS, BROKEN-DOWN TOOL!
Ahem. Sorry.
Vertigo is also a useless pile of parrot droppings.
And now The Gleyber makes it a trifecta. Sigh.
At least nasty has been anything but so far
Probably needs to come out now, tho
Yep
I didn't know he was gay. Huh. Live and learn.
Haw haw!
Unlucky
HaHahA
I do love the correct execution of the hit and run.
Start the runner, hit behind him, Verdingo's bunt the other day in the ninth, who's managing this team?
If the Yankees do not re-sign Juan Soto, we should all immolate ourselves in front of Yankee Stadium.
Well, all right maybe that's a bit much. But we should certainly send a harshly worded letter to Hal!
Soto sono buoni!
Now call the fucking game
A hit from...Stanton???
All right, time to get out of this inning before they call the game.
More bad luck.
There is standing water in the infield. The player union reps should have the players leave the field.
Maybe the water should ALSO learn to RUN!
Isn't that what union reps do? Protect their members from unsafe working conditions.
Hoss, let’s immolate Cashman or Boone instead. Where’s Scott Proctor? He may have some leftover lighter fluid.
Well, that was even a reasonable effort by Gleyber. All right, time to go home, everybody!
Hey, it's not raining. Let's call the game.
So it's just a delay. How are they going to make the field playable with the tarp on? I'm cornfused.
Juan Soto is great at baseball.
Is Juan Soto also great at groundskeeping?
No. We got other people to do that.
They're not as good at it as Soto is at baseball.
No amount of great groundskeepers with great super absorbing kitty litter is going to make that field playable.
Yankees win…
Game called! 👍
Whoo!
Woo hoo!
OoooooH
I, for one, am very happy that mr. bit's penis did not fall off.
(Frankly, I'm glad no-ones did. Well, as far as I know)
But I wonder why that was a concern.
Are there carmine terrorists in NYC? Should we organize a counterattack?
I would have to say that it might be better to have your penis fall off whilst at home, you know showering or sleeping or marinating chicken for dinner rather than when your rattling to the office on mass transit or in a client meeting or even whilst at the dentist getting a routine cleaning.
Perhaps our GPs should add this to their patient check lists (those with a penis, of course) to help insure that it’s attached securely.
Penis intact, but I never mentioned what may or may not have happened to my scrotum.
Anyway, I can never resist a good "top ten" list.
Time for a short arm inspection, as they used to say in the Ardennes...
Where is my frequent companion?
How are the metrics lads holding up in the sub-basement of the Stadium? And how are THEIR penises doing?
Also, I agree with what Hoss said about self-immolation.
But we all know what's going to happen to Soto, and it's so so sad, so I won't mention it. Well, maybe it'll be "we made him a great offer, but we just don't do 10 year contracts.
Anyway, why wait until the end of the season? Break out the Bic lighters now, men...
Simone de Bouvier wrote (paraphrasing here) that boys were always more comfortable with solitude because they always had someone to play with.
Same reasoning explains why it's impossible for a woman to go to the powder room alone.
Sorry, Simone de Beauvoir.
Must have been think of Jackie O.
Henis
Penis
Rip it off clean
Only Brian Cashman knows
Who did
The Dirty Deed
Yow
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