Thursday, June 6, 2024

Yankeeblog

The Yankees are playing so well lately that they are becoming harder and harder to criticize and make fun of. While on one level I’m happy because, let’s face it, I’d rather spend three hours a day enjoying the game as opposed to, say, watching them lose. Cough. NY Giants. Cough.  

In fact, between the Yankees, the resurgent Knicks and the President’s Cup winning Rangers it’s getting tougher and tougher to sit down in the AM and complain about them. So, I’ll complain about that.  

        Yankeeblog 

(To Aqualung)

Sitting on my snark bench.

Looking at the Yanks with mild laments.

No more looking down my nose.

Wondering if I… should break out… branded clothes.

Hey Yankeeblog!

 

Searching for a cheap pun…

While Soto drives in, another run…

Hey Yankeeblog…


Feeling like a lame schmuck.

Forced to heap praise on Brian Cashman’s luck…

Whoa Yankeeblog…


--- 

Streaking not cold… sadly making fun of Rizzo.

But it’s not his fault… because he’s old.

Missing the times, when Sanchez ran like Lizzo.

And Chapman’s entrance felt… like… a defeat.

 

Nothing left to mock. Just a few middle relivers

Even Stanton hits like it’s… on a tee.

Having this much success, well it starts to make me queasy.

Watching Volpe go… three for three.

 ---

But I still remember.

Past October’s foggy freeze…

When umpires called Aaron Judge out.

On balls below his knees.

(Hey)

And ground balls turned to double plays.

And DJ’s hurt again…

And the Autumn, it looked nothing like the Spring.

Oh-no Astro-ohs.

 

(Guitar Solo)

Dee-dee-dee-dee.
Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee
Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee
Dee-dee-dee-dee

 

But this run will end. I won’t let it drive me looney.

The manager’s still Booney… so we’ll see.


---

Sitting on my snark bench.

Looking at the Yanks with mild laments.

No more looking down my nose.

Wondering if I should… break out branded clothes…

Hey Yankeeblog.

 

Searching for a cheap pun…

While Soto drives in another run…

Hey Yankeeblog


Feeling like a lame schmuck

Forced to heap praise on Brian Cashman’s luck…

Whoa oh oh oh  Yankee…blog.

65 comments:

el duque said...

Well, where the hell was Biggles, when we needed him last Saturday? And where are all the "sportsmen" who always see us through?

Do you realize that Jethro Tull is NOT in the Rock Hall of Fame?

Doug K. said...

Is that true? How is that possible?

Doug K. said...

There's really interesting album of Tull music with David Palmer and the London Symphony called "A Classic Case: The Music of Jethro Tull". Ian Anderson plays with them.

It really shows how classically constructed a lot of the songs are. Some are too slow but others are great versions.

AboveAverage said...

Nice one Doug.

But wait - last summer whilst visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (ten days prior to our Bronx get together) I think I spied Ian Anderson in the car park handing out free cigarettes to the local teens.

He kept on saying, "Care for a smoke?" as he held out what appeared to be Dunhills to all those who came forward.

So . . . does being just outside the Hall count?

Doug K. said...

Only if your name is Oates.

Hinkey Haines said...

My wife said she knew were old when we heard a Muzak version of “Thick As A Brick” in the grocery store.

BTR999 said...

The mere mention of the RRHOF is enough to send me into paroxysms . Not a big Tull fan, but of course they belong in there. Someone explain to me why Warren Zevon has never even been considered, while talentless mediocre commercial acts such as Journey have already enshrined.

I see the $100,000 man, Luis Torrens, fresh out of the Scranton hoosegow, cracked two homers for the metsies last night which (checks math) is double what Wells has provided for us. We’re not lacking for starting pitching, but I see Severino turned in another excellent outing as well.

I understand a few of our Yankee compañeros here are not feeling so good? Hope you all get well and stay well👍.

Kevin said...

Enjoyed your parody Doug, but I feel that we are all skating away on the thin ice of a new day. BTW, I heard that Cher, yeah Cher was whining about never being picked for R&R Hall. "Well HELL NO" , said I. "What did she actually ever do"? Well she is going in this year. I have always thought that the Hall was joke, but I find that I am being serenaded into my old age by entertainers that I have spent over a half century loathing. As Doctor Smith used to say, "Oh the pain, the Pain of it all".

AboveAverage said...

CRUSH! KILL!! DESTROY!!!
MOISTURE! MOISTURE!! MOISTURE!!!


Kevin

HoraceClarke66 said...

Great bit, Doug! And speaking of bits...get better quick, Bitty! We cannot have you out of action. That would be the worst injury of all.

Publius said...

Dire Straits was inducted into the RRHOF. Mark Knopfler never said a word about it. Literally nothing. Didn't reply to questions. Didn't comment on the news. Didn't attend the ceremony. Never said a word about it.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

One more reason to like Mark Knopfler.

Warren Zevon is even more criminal than Jethro Tull not being in. Especially with some of the artists that would be mediocre if they were alot better.

I went to a free Journey concert at Saratoga. Don't remember a thing about it. Must have been... forgettable.

JM said...

I wrote a radio spot or two to promote a couple of Journey shows at SPAC. SPAC was a client, and I had fun writing "exciting" announcer copy and segueing songs together. Kansas was painful. John Denver was a goof. There were some good acts in there, I know, but I can't remember them. But Charles Aznevour...him, I remember.

Mildred Lopez said...



This album, yes album, there is not a bad note on it. Not one. It is perfect.

Doug K. said...

My buddy Tommy G wrote this to me in an email...

"BTW, Ian Anderson has been a steadfast opponent of the RRHOF and wouldn't come near that place even if JT were inducted. And not sour grapes either. He has been adamantly opposed to the Hall from jump. He's opposed to the concept of an artists hall of fame. That being said, Tull is and has been more than worthy of induction since the first class was inducted."

Just thought I'd share it (with his permission)

JM said...

I practically wore out Thick as a Brick and Passion Play. A strange album, that.

JM said...

But I ultimately logged more listening time with King Crimson. A string of great albums in the 70s.

I liked Yes, too, even after Wakeman left and Moraz came in. Relayer was cool.

ranger_lp said...

The story about Mark Knopfler and the RRHOF...

He was pissed that he would have had to use his own expenses to travel to the RRHOF ceremonies (like everyone else). He thought that was an outrage. So he didn't go...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I don't blame him. They make boatloads of money off of the ceremonies and the acts don't get paid. The least they could do is pay travel expenses.

Jerry Garcia couldn't be bothered to show up either:

https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/jerry-garcia-rejected-rock-and-roll-hall-of-fame/

Kevin said...

AA, lol and touche'!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Rainout theater fodder:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x558huj

TheWinWarblist said...

Rainout theater? Did they call the game?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Not tonight. Just for future reference.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Keeping the sci-fi them, every time I see Stroman, I want to say his name the ferengi way -- STRO-mon.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

That wasn't good.

TheWinWarblist said...

Trent Grisham!! Whoever that is!!!

Joe of AZ said...

Damn you know it's a good start to summer if Trent is hitting clutch shots

AboveAverage said...

Gley brrrrrrrrr

AboveAverage said...

Wellllls - how do you like that!

JM said...

Stroman isn't exactly lights out, but maybe just good enough to tap dance through five. Six would be great.

TheWinWarblist said...

No, seriously. Who is Trent Grisham?

TheWinWarblist said...

I checked Fangraphs. Grisham was not good for Milwaukee for a year then not good for San Diego for 4 years. And now he is a Yankee? How did that happen? I'm sure we have not good players at Triple A. I'm sure our minor league system is full of not good players to rival or even surpass Grisham in not goodness.

JM said...

I love this kid.

JM said...

Volpe just stole a run.

JM said...

Stanton another RBI.

TheWinWarblist said...

Lil' TONY!!!

JM said...

Win, Grisham is a tested veteran.

We got him along with Soto.

JM said...

Stroman faltering now. Bring in Santana.

JM said...

Has anyone mentioned that Kay is insufferable?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM,

Only people that have listened to him.

JM said...

Stromanized in the fifth. As Cashman said, he's not a difference maker.

JM said...

I didn't know it was raining. But now I know, it does smell like rain.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Ralph Houk is pitching a no-hitter for the carmines against the worst team in baseball.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Haha! Not anymore. Hope I jinxed them.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Matt vast sturgeon sucks worse than kay. He just speculated more than once that Soto may go from right field to DH.

Except a little thingy called the rulebook prohibits it.

What a fking ass clown.

Hinkey Haines said...

What happened to Soto? Injured on a throw?

BTR999 said...

Soto out with “left forearm discomfort”
TJ surgery?

Hinkey Haines said...

Call the Uh-Oh Squad…

JM said...

I just tuned back in. What happened to Soto?

Pocono Steve said...

There goes the season. Guess it was 2022 after all!

JM said...

Orioles lost. That's good, if we can win.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The black swan returns on D-Day.

JM said...

Is Soto injured?

JM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rufus T. Firefly said...

Forearm discomfort? Sounds like the death barge propaganda machine.

JM said...

Eek.

JM said...

Bedtime is calling. Goddamn rain delay.

Publius said...

It was a fun couple of months.

ranger_lp said...

Yankees Win!!!

AboveAverage said...

The Yankees just won a ballgame.

Bittersweet?

We shall see.

And I was so looking forward to Soto going yard against Yamamoto :(

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Martian pulled from game in AAA after Soto out.

Coincidence?

BTR999 said...

8 is (not) enough:
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

BTR999 said...

During the rain delay, Soto was sent out to Dr. Ahmed for testing, so yeah - there is some kind of injury here.
He had been playing with this for a week, as usual this was kept from us.
In a likely corresponding move, Dominguez was pulled out of the SWB game, undoubtedly in an anticipated call up if Soto hits the IL

TheWinWarblist said...

Baltimore is now 3 back in the all important loss column.

But what thee fucks is going on in Philadelphia?


Oh yeah: Fuck Hal.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Pretty fucking scary. But this doesn't SOUND like the kind of thing that will keep Soto out for long.

We'll see.