An Above Average Haiku Tuesday ~ Good Bye 2024 edition

THIS is the LAST HAIKU of 2024 

The two best and worst Yankee moments of 2024

What a year of pleasure and torture, of joy and despair, of artistry and crapola...

This was going to be our year, twenty-twenty four...  

The best and worst moments...

BEST: October 25, circa 11:10 p.m., EDT, World Series game one, bottom of the 10th, one out, runners on 1st and 2nd, Nestor Cortes pitching to Shohei Ohtani. 

Aaron Boone has brought in Cortes, ignoring Tim Hill, his best LH reliever in the postseason. On the first pitch, Ohtani lifts a foul pop fly over 3B. LF Alex Verdugo snags it on a dead run, somersaulting into the stands, a reincarnation of Derek Jeter's famous bleacher flop. He comes up clutching the ball and flinging it to the infield.

In that moment, the Vegas betting line rockets to an 81 percent chance that the Yankees will win, and every Yank fan in captivity senses victory - a game that will leave the Dodgers reeling and deflated. There is no doubt: The Yankees will win the World Series. An incredible play like this... it's a sign of destiny.  

WORST: October 25, around 11:11 p.m. Eastern, World Series game one, bottom of the 10th, two outs, bases loaded, Nestor Cortes pitching to Freddie Freeman. 

Because the previous play - a spectacular running catch by Alex Verdugo - wound up in the foul seats, both baserunners have moved up - to second and third. With first base open, Boone orders an intentional walk to Mookie Betts, loading the bases for Freddie Freeman, a postseason disappointment thus far.

Cortes grooves the first pitch, Freeman hits it into the RF bleachers, the Dodgers celebrate, and the Yankees are dead. 

It's the last pitch Cortes will ever throw in Pinstripes, the last big moment for Verdugo as a Yankee, the end of hope in 2024. 

The best and worst, back to back, within a minute of each other.  

Happy new year.

The Nightmare

 Last night, I went to sleep thinking of cookies and stockings filled with candy. 

As the sleep deepened, a sudden vision came into focus.

That lazy pop-up to center field that Judge settled under, only to have the ball bounce of his glove. 

And that brought out the gremlins.

Everyone the ball found, made an error.  People in the infield seemed frozen. 

The worst 5th inning in the history of baseball. 

The end of the Yankees.

And the end of my peaceful repose. 

I woke up with nights sweats and a pulsing heart rate. 

Soon it will be next year. 

Maybe. 

The tiny mistakes that killed 2024

This was supposed to be a warm-hearted retrospective on 2024, which - overall - should be remembered by Yank fans with smiles, not sedatives. 

The Yankees came closer to winning a ring than they had in 15 years, and they beat tough teams on the way. We enjoyed great moments, magnificent memories -which is why everything still hurts. 

I'm thinking Game One. It went 10 innings. It seemed a lifetime. It's been called - by Dodger fans, anyway - the greatest world series game of all time. Not sure I buy that, but this I shall forever believe: 

The Yankees fucking gave it away. 

They gave it away when Gleyber botched Juan Soto's throw to 2B - officially scored a throwing error by Soto, but Gleyber's slap-attempt batted it into no man's land - allowing Ohtani to take third, and then score on Betts' game-tying sac fly. 

They gave it away when LA intentionally walked Soto to get to Aaron Judge, the game's greatest hitter, who popped up, failing to make them pay. (As Judge did all series.) 

They gave it away when Aaron Boone brought in Nestor Cortes, who hadn't pitched in a fucking month, to face Ohtani, Betts and Freeman. Alex Verdugo made what should still be a career-defining catch in left, vaulting into the stands. Then, on Cortes next pitch... the fateful HR.

I shall go to my grave believing that if the Yankees took Game One - if just one of the flubs didn't happen - the entire series would have changed. 

Already, history views the Dodgers as a super team, unbeatable, a club for for the ages. But they were ours to fucking beat, and we fucking blew it. 

One play, here and there... Volpe failing to score from second on a double. Stanton lumbering around third on the way to being thrown out at home. Judge botching the easy fly ball. Cole, inexplicably, failing to cover first. Oh, God, mistake after mistake after mistake... 

One play, here and there, and the Yankees could have been riding down the Canyon of Heroes in a cloud of tickertape - an experience that might have changed Soto's mercenary heart to the point where he would never do what he did. One play, here and there, and Gleyber might be staying, maybe even Verdugo. One play, here and there...

It's because we came so close - so incredibly close - that 2024 will always hurt so much. We might not get another chance in our lifetimes. This was the year we went for broke - and came up short. By one play, here and there...

NY Giants heating up at just the right time!

Big victory today over Colts ensures Giants have momentum, heading into the final week, as they push for a magical four-win season!

Right now, there are two consensus QBs in the upcoming draft.

The Giants will have the third pick. 

Genius. 

In Brennen Davis, Yanks sign another former future star to their vast collection of couldabeens.

To celebrate the failed expectations of 2024 - R.I.P., you bastard year -the Death Barge yesterday signed a former "can't miss" prospect to a minor league deal. 

Brennen Davis is 25, bats RH, plays all three OF slots and - at 6'3" - should look scary coming off the bus from Scranton throughout 2025.

In many respects, Davis represents the classic, unfulfilled top prospect, whose character arc includes:  

1. Four appearances on Baseball America's Top 100 lists, peaking at #16 in early 2022.

2. Stardom in the 2021 Futures Game, outdoing Jasson Dominguez, Jeter Downs and Bobby Witt Jr., by going 2-for-3 with 2 HRs.

3. Persistent injuries in recent years.

4. In 168 games, over four seasons at Triple A, a career batting average of .203.

He'll provide what Brian Cashman calls "system depth," the kind that has included - with due respect - the likes of Franchy Cordero, Jake Bauer and Willie Calhoun. 

Don't be surprised if, around mid-June, when Giancarlo and Judge are taking ice baths and MRIs, the YES team is talking up Davis as a stopgap solution in CF, and remembering that big Futures Game of '21. Let the record show that the Mets are supposedly closing in on Pete Alphonso and/or Alex Bregman, and we just signed Brennen Davis.

Oh, well... hey, ya never know...

I/We Somehow Missed This

Earlier today, Duque wrote:

The Tigers signed [Gleyber] Torres for a one-year, $15 million, "show us what you got" deal - a surprise to no one

This got me thinking about another shows-early-promise-but-later-disappoints Yankee, Gary Sánchez.  I went to Baseball-Reference.com and, while he was shown in a Milwaukee uniform, was surprised to read that his current team was listed as the Baltimore Orioles.

I learned that, on December 10, 2024, 32-year old Sánchez signed a one–year, $8.5 million contract with the O's as a backup catcher.

Some quick arithmetic on my cellphone tells me that the O's think Sánchez has about 56.7% of whatever Torres has.

Sounds a little high to me.

So why wasn't Gleyber traded?

Professional ballplayers are in a unique position in our economy. Yes, they're contract workers, backed by the strongest unions in this country. But they're also assets, prone to dramatically increase or decline in value. 

Hal Steinbrenner's refusal to recognize this has led to the Yankees' drop in performance over the last 15 years, and will continue to cut the legs out from under us in the years ahead.

As our Peerless Leader pointed out, The Gleyber's decline was sudden and swift. After an outstanding minor-league career and two stellar seasons in the show, the bottom dropped out.

In three of his last five seasons, Torres has led the AL in errors, both at shortstop and at second. And in three of those last five years, Gleyber had more errors than he did home runs. We needn't get into how, for months at a time, he was the single worst performing, day-to-day player in the majors, or his now legendary inability to pay attention on a ballfield.

Yet for all of that, there were periods when Gleyber seemed to regain his power stroke, and when his OPS shot upwards again. At times, he was ranked at or near the top of all American League second basemen, a statistic that probably speaks more to the weakness of the league, but never mind. 

The Yankees insisted that they tried to trade Torres but could find no takers—a claim that is impossible to believe. It is belied, first of all, by the fact that Detroit just gave him the same amount of money he was making in New York. 

The Yanks could not have, say, slip Gleyber into an imaginative deal for Juan Soto back in 2022, the first time he was traded? They couldn't have offered him up for a gross of magic beans? More likely, they couldn't find the completely one-sided deal that Brian Cashman always prefers (and never gets).

In the meantime, Gleyber would have been easy to replace by the likes of Thairo Estrada (sent to San Francisco for cash on the barrelhead), or Ezequiel Duran and Josh Smith (traded to Texas for Joey Gallo), or any of the Slew of Shortstops up for free agency, who might have been converted to second.

Didn't happen. And it didn't happen primarily because that's not what the Yankees do, or how they think of ballplayers.

Look at the likes of Estavan Florial, or so many others relegated to rot in Triple-A or on the Yankee Stadium bench, rather than be dealt somewhere. Look at Sonny Gray, a flop in New York but a valued commodity elsewhere, who they all but gave away (Shedd Long, anybody?).

The Yankees don't pull off good trades because they don't think of their players as assets, but rather as employees at Hal's luxury lifestyle destination.

Someone like a Juan Soto who showed a lot of pep out there at poolside, but wanted too much money? Good luck applying over at Club Flushing! 

Loyal retainers like Anthony Rizzo or Giancarlo Stanton or D.J. LeMahieu who have grown a little long in the tooth? Hey, a contract's a contract. They have to keep schlepping out there no matter how many times they spill the drinks on the guests, or stick their thumbs in the guacamole dip.  

They will stay with the Yankees until the bitter end, or beyond—Jacoby Ellsbury, am I right?—when they will be given a farewell banquet, a firm handshake, and a gold-plated watch.

A few fall into other categories, such as those, like Anthony Volpe, who become a little sparkle in a certain general manager's eye. Or that Judge fella, who was on his way out the door for more money, but just couldn't bear to leave the old stand.

But it's the same in the end. Players are never acquired or jettisoned in anticipation of their rise or decline.

The Yankees are never ruthless innovators, cutting fat and wrecking old models of business in the name of a bold new vision. Nor are they some gold-solid, mentoring firm, recruiting and nurturing brilliant new talent that will transform the industry. 

They are simply an increasingly shabby resort for old Euro royals from minor countries, shady Russian oligarchs, or assorted high-rolling, bling-laden sports who haven't got the message yet that the dogs have barked, and the caravan has moved on.

The moral of the Gleyber story? Don't bring impossible expectations - certainly not to NY

They break our hearts, no?

Gleyber. Damn... 

He was going to resurrect us, restore us, save us. He came from the Cubs, part of the 2016 trade deadline package deal (with Billy McKinney, another future star!) for Aroldis Chapman, whom we'd later sign as a free agent - a triple bank-shot Yankee steal. There were we - using market size, history and advanced scouting metrics to execute a perfect heist. 

On April 22, 2018, Gleyber Torres ascended to the Majors, then ranked by Baseball America as the game's No. 6 prospect, and wearing Mark Teixeria's prestige  number 25. He'd been hitting .347 at Triple A Scranton. The tabs christened it "Gleyber Day." The Yankiverse debated John Sterling's looming HR call - (it later became, arguably, his worst: "Like a good Gleyber, Torres is there.") That day, though he went 0-4, we all believed the world had changed, and the juju gods were with us. Gleyber Torres had arrived. He was 21. 

He made the all-star team that July. The following year, he hit 38 HRs - sixth highest total in the MLB - with 90 RBIs. He ranked as one of the best defensive 2B in the game. You foresaw a lifetime Yankee, with plaques in Monument Park and Cooperstown. His future had no limits. 

Then came the Covid half-season. He arrived out of shape. Worse, the Yankees wanted him to play SS, to finally replace Derek Jeter. That miserable year, 2020, he hit .243 - 30 points below his first two seasons, with only 3 HRs. Moreover, he bombed at SS, eventually forcing a return to 2B. In 2021, his power stroke had vanished. He hit 9 HRs, batted .259 - baseline numbers that never changed. 

So, we all know what happened yesterday:  

The Tigers signed Torres for a one-year, $15 million, "show us what you got" deal - a surprise to no one, as the Yankees had shown him the door since Game 5.  

He's 28, coming off a fine second half of 2024, after shitting the bed for the first four months. His exit had long been sealed. For two years, the Yankees shopped him in trades. Nobody bit. Now, he's got a shot in Detroit. A good season and, who knows, maybe he can return to NY. Steve Cohen likes ex-Yankees, especially those with something to prove. 

This I know: Sometime this summer, Gleyber will stride to the plate in Yankee Stadium, and the crowd will rise. Scattered cheers will merge into a thunderous cascade, and the fans will chant his name. It is our greatest moment, when Yank fans remember a former son. We will cheer him, as loudly as we can, considering our broken hearts. 

If Hal is done, so are the Yankees

It's hard to picture the Yankees on July 4, 2025, but let's take a swing...

It's Indi Day, the m80s are booming, the Hoffman's dogs are popping, the Utica Club is cold, and the Death Barge has fulfilled Hal Steinbrenner's great need: The Yankees are contending. 

They sit above .500, within spitting distance of leading the AL East. Their exact product placement depends on Boston and Baltimore, and - to be specific - their vaunted farm systems. For three years now, the Redsocks have been promising their fans breakout stars. Baltimore has Jackson Holliday, a disappointment last season. Thing is, three years ago, so was Bobby Witt Jr. If the scouts were right about Holliday, well - hey! - we're still contending... 

By now, Giancarlo Stanton is out with some injury. Legs, shoulders, hips - somewhere, a leathery gonad barked and an overheated gasket blew. He'll be back for the postseason - he's always back by Sept. 15 - and meanwhile, the Yankees are auditioning journeymen and fingerlings, seeking a DH replacement that does not exist.

By now, we're starting "the bullpen" every fifth game, and Skipper Boone's Circle of Trust has shrunken to a microdot. Remember all that pitching depth we seemed to have in February? Ha ha. We're at stems and seeds. It's Clayton Beeter time. We're waiting for Jonathan Loaisiga, any day now. What made us think we had enough pitching? 

By now, it's still too early to get a fix on The Martian - he shows flashes of hope and despair - but we are drawing a bead on the long-term future of Anthony Volpe. Either Volpe has improved, as he looked in the '24 world series, or the Yankees will quietly start looking for someone else to anchor their infield. We all love Volpe. We all want him to succeed. But by mid-2025, we will know.

By now, we'll look back upon this December and wish to hell that Nepo Hal had made one more big move, one more acquisition of note. Because if he stands pat, if he lets the Mets sign Roki Sasaki, if he fails to land Tanner Scott, if he settles for a team that can contend, well, he'll get what he wished for. Every night, Citi Field will be rocking so loudly that he hears it in the Bronx, and we better enjoy the fireworks show, because that's all we'll have. 

If Hal is done, the Yankees will be, as the cynics say, "good enough for government." If Hal is done, it will be a long year. 

Roki Sasaki is coming to America, and the Yankees look to finish second in the bidding

The best player on the remaining 2024 free agent market comes with no draft picks attached, and he's younger than Juan Soto.

Roki Sasaki is 23, throws RH, and finished last season in Japan with the worst ERA of his career: a mere 2.35. 

He's the latest in a caravan of Asian stars, all with one thing in common.

They're not Yankees.

Nope. The Mets have Kodai Senga. The Redsocks, Masataka Yoshida. The Dodgers - um, you get the picture. Every big market franchise - (and all our rivals) - have ventured recently into the Asian market except for - um, you get the picture. 

What's impressive is how Team Hal somehow always manages to finish second in the bidding for Asian talent. There's an art to this. You can't just piss money down a player's throat, until his manager gurgles "Uncle." Nope, you gotta bob and weave, float and sting, then stick the landing in safe and secure second. 

The Yankees vow to bid hard on Sasaki. 

And they will. Yep. Wait and see. They'll finish second.

Last time the Yankees toured the Canyon of Heroes, 2009, Hideki Matsui was the reigning world series MVP. The Yankees were building a Oriental pipeline, looking to continually replenish their roster. Then Hal took over, with his public commitment to always contend - and, hmmm, isn't that just another way of striving to finish second? 

I hesitate to mention this. Why pretend? Everybody knows Sasaki will sign with the Dodgers, who cook their books with deferred salaries, or the Mets, with Steve Cohen performing a literal golden shower. 

But a Yankee rotation of Gerrit Cole, Max Fried, Luis Gil, Clarke Schmidt and Sasaki would put an end to the handwringing over Juan Soto. The Yankees could actually be a better team than last year, and without Soto. 

But it won't happen. We're built for second.

Little Dumber Boy (first verse only, for the HOLIDAY impaired)

Dumb we call him

Dumb Dumb de Dumb Dumb

Hal and Pal's Puppet

Dumb Dumb de Dumb Dumb

Wish - there was more going on

Inside of his Brain

Drives us Insane

Dumb de Dumb Dumb

Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb

Happy Holidays, from IT IS HIGH

 As stated above..

The White Snows Of Winter

 

.....may they fall into your quiet town. "

Have a wonderful family Xmas and an extraordinary New Year ( in the best sense of the word ).

- Alphonso

Hannukah Songbook

It’s time to do the Hannukah Songbook but, well… here’s the thing...

Aside from, “I Have a Little Dreidel”, there not anything to sing.

At least nothing we’d all know, and that just seems damn wrong.

Especially given the Jews contributions to Christmas Holiday song.

--

Cause a Jew wrote “White Christmas” also “Let it Snow”.

And "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". I thought you should know.

--

"Winter Wonderland" and "Silver Bells"… All by some guy named Schwartz… (poetic license)

But no popular Hannukah songs to segue me to sports. 

--

Still, 

Hannukah starts at sundown tomorrow, and it’s time for a post.

So let's talk Great Jews In Sports… no this is not a roast.

--

We know about Koufax and Greenburgh, 

and Olympian Mark Spitz.

Also, Aly Raisman who thrilled us with her splits. 

Sue Bird and Randy Savage...

Their immortality all sealed.

But our greatest achievements in sports...

have all come off the field.

--

Start with Howard Cosell. 

Changed the role of the booth.

While also announcing, 

he added the truth.

--

Football…  just a game. 

Not the stuff of fable…  

'Til the narrative changed, 

by NFL Films’, Ed Sabol.

 --

On the hardwood there’s Dolph Schayes... Not too many more.

As a people, we’re too short to get out on the floor.

Unless you count Holtzman, and Auerbach to name just a couple.

Add Abe Saperstein, to make it a thruple.

--

Sy Berger at Topps, made our childhood’s less glum.

Fathered the modern baseball card… Including the gum!

--

We all know Scott Boras and of course Marvin Miller.

The latter changed baseball. The former its killer.

--

Roger Kahn, and Nat Fleischer, who published the Ring

are just some of the writers whose praises we sing.

--

So… On Glickman. On Albert. On Suzyn. On John.

On Rosen, Mel Allen. On Bernstien. On Cohen.

--

So what if we don’t have good songs everybody can sing...

Wait...

(I Had A Little Dreidel.) 

We once had a reliever. 

His first name was Clay. 

He kept on blowing close ones, 

but still they let him play. 

Oh Boonie. Boonie. Boonie.  

What is wrong with you?

We could have used Scott Effross. 

Did you know he is a Jew!"

---

HA! 

and Happy Hannukah!   

 

An Above Average Haiku Tuesday ~ 24/24 How much more must we endour?

"or to the MOON 'cause it rhymes better"

Christmas belongs to the children... Volpe and the Martian

Merry Christmas, all... 

Rejoice in knowing that nothing shall happen in the Yankiverse today: We won't sign a turkey, or trade for a lug nut, or do much of anything. *

Rejoice in knowing that 2025 won't depend on an algorithm, or our owner's wallet, or whatever circus evolves across town. 

Rejoice in knowing that the upcoming season will belong to children - in this case, our SS and LF, neither of whom has celebrated a 24th birthday. 

Will Anthony Volpe break out? If so, we have a chance. 

Will Jasson Dominguez take over LF? If so, we have a chance. 

I could also add the comedy team of Oswald & Oswaldo. If they rise, we have a chance. 

And if they don't - well - rest assured that we at IT IS HIGH shall hold accountable those who delivered us to this desolate cusp of Hell.

Happy holidays. Now go eat a sandwich.  

* If they trade DJ LeMahieu for Freddie Freeman and Mookie Betts, disregard this post.

Tis the season of hope...

Woke up this AM with the following thought...  

If we had a GM and an owner that I trusted I would say that there actually is a VERY good plan in place.

Keep Jazz at third for the year and then next year move him over to second and sign Murakami the (25-26 year old?) Triple Crown level 3B free agent from Japan.  

Ride Goldschmidt for the year and then move Bellinger to 1B and sign Kyle Tucker long term next year. 

It APPEARS that that is the long term plan. But I know I'm giving WAY too much credit to the front office.  

---

But since it is the season of hope...  Just for fun let's say that was the actual plan and they did it. The lineup in 2026 would look like this. 

Jazz 2B 

Murakami 3B

Judge RF

Tucker CF

Bellinger 1B

Stanton DH

Dominguez LF

Wells C

Volpe SS

That my friends is one hell of a line up.  Power. Speed. Potentially scary 1-9 especially if the Martian is real and Volpe and Wells go up a level, which I believe is possible.   

Ain't happening. But it could. It's right there if the goal was to do more than contend. 

Just sayin.

An IT IS HIGH holiday classic... Barry McGuire's Eve of Christmas

The Fox News tree, it is explodin.'

Tucker flairin’, Trump unloadin,’

They re-write laws just to keep us all from votin,’

You don't believe in science, but what’s that phone you’re totin?'

They say even the Jordan River’s got ballots floatin,’

But you tell me over and over and over again my friend,

How you don't believe we're on the eve...

     of Christmas…

#

Yeah, Bitcoin’s so high, I feel like celebratin,’

I’m sitting here, self-vaccinatin.'

Podcast experts say we don’t need no protectin’

Handful of senators still selling ivermectin,

Stockings hung with care, they bring no inspiration.

Bags full of goodies priced high from inflation,

This whole holiday scene is just too frustratin,’

And you tell me over and over and over again my friend

Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve...

of Christmas...

 #

See this air fryer? It was made in Red China.

I bought it in a CVS in Selma, Alabama.

Jeff Bezos may go up for three hours in space,

But when tax time comes, he won’t pay a trace,

The wavin’ of the guns, the playin’ to the base,
Meet your next baby-sitter, and hope it’s not Matt Gaetz.

And you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend,

You don’t believe we’re on the eve...

of Christmas.

Hal Steinbrenner has probably achieved his goal of having the 2025 Yankees contend. Now comes the part where we learn how serious he is about winning

Every year, around now, the Ghost of Yankees Present, aka Hal Steinbrenner, appears in a fever dream to remind us that...

a) Christmas is about peace and love
b) What's important are friends and family
c) Our goal is for the Yankees to contend...

Yep. To contend...  

In 2010, the last year that Hal's troops came to spring training as world champions, this constituted a grand manifesto. But in these days of expanded playoffs, to contend doesn't quite bring the Christmas wish that it once conveyed.

Here is the Yankee lineup, more or less, for now. (We can debate placements, but it's just rearranging deck chairs, no?)

2b Jazz Chisholm
rf Aaron Judge
cf Cody Bellinger
dh Giancarlo Stanton
1b Paul Goldschmidt
c Austin Wells
lf Jasson Dominguez
2b Oswald/Oswaldo
ss Anthony Volpe

It's not Soto/Judge - last year's Mantle/Maris - but, hey, this team should win 85 games and stay relevant through mid-September. From there, our fate rests with the juju gods, the smartass deities who guided Judge's glove on that fateful Game 5 pop fly.

Here we are, at the winter solstice fulcrum, where Hal must decide whether to drop another $20 million on payroll, or to clench his powdered fanny and maintain his status as the second worst owner in Yankee history, a notch behind CBS, and the third worst family sports dynasty in NY, behind the Maras and Johnsons.  

Mr. Steinbrenner, sir, it's Christmastime again. It's your call.

I'm not suggesting any particular acquisition. That's for Brian "Rasputin" Cashman. Whatever happens, the Yankees should contend - that is, "engage in a competition to win something..." If The Martian rises, if  Volpe breaks out,  if Wells reverts to last July's form - hey, we win the AL East! And if they don't, and if/when we get whacked by tweaked carbunkles, well, let the Jenga blocks fall.

Sir, it will soon be the cold, hard part of winter. It will be time for you to decide how badly you want to win. Or if you've already achieved that goal. 

Merry Christmas.

Rickey

“Fuck that! You can change somebody’s life!”

[image or embed]

— Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) December 21, 2024 at 3:37 PM

Those are the words of cheap-ass Mike Piazza.

Ten reasons Yank fans should be ambivalent about the signing of Paul Goldschmidt

It's incredible to realize that the Death Barge has spent all its 2025 "Go to Hell, Juan Soto!" newly found Insta-Cash on Max Fried, Cody Bellinger and - now - Paul Goldschmidt.

If there were ever a "Huh? Whatever... " Yankee pre-Christmas acquisition, Goldschmidt brings the milk and cookies. Welcome to the Bronx Boredom, everyone...

Right now, I plan to spend March reading comic books on the can. Unless The Martian goes crazy in spring training, there will be little reason for excitement. The Yanks will field a team of players in various stages of career decline, with sharply defined ceilings and the ever-persistent auras of twilight.  

Here are 10 reasons why we should not rejoice, recoil, resist, resign, retire, reawaken or re-avow... Ten Reasons Not to Give a Crap.

1. No matter how bad Goldschmidt is, he can't be worse than what the Yankees received last year from the black hole that was first base. Overall, Yank 1Bs hit .216 with 16 HRs - some of the worst production in franchise history. You have to go back to the dark days of John Mayberry (8 HR, .209 in 1982.) Beat that, Mr. Gold.

2. Well, he might not. Goldie is coming off his worst season, ever. He hit .246 with 22 HRs. Damn. I feel like I'm strapped into a moving conveyor belt, with a laser ready to split me down the middle. 

"Do you expect me to cheer, Goldswinger?"

"No, Mr. Fan. I expect you to die." 

3. He's 37, turns 38 in September. I'm sorry, but there is no other way to paint this: At 37, not many players get better.

4. He's cagy, wise and, apparently, a good-hearted clubhouse presence, loved by all - flushes toilets, doesn't hog the soap dish, remembers birthdays... he can turn the world on with his smile, he can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile... 

5.  We'll only have him for one year. If he somehow has another MVP season, the Mets will sign him.

6. Supposedly, he still flashes a solid glove. I think the Yankees plan to market the 2025 team as a "Return to Pitching and Defense." Fine, if they mean it. A good glove at 1B can save an infield. On this, Goldschmidt should deliver. 

7. He's RH, which means a possible, eventual, platoon with Ben Rice. I don't see him as Wally Pipp. The Yankees have no 1B on the farms, busting fences. Maybe somebody will emerge, but right now, it's not as if Goldschmidt is holding the slot for the next Don Mattingly. 

8. There is talk that Nolan Arenado, Goldschmidt's close friend, will waive his no-trade clause with the Cardinals, allowing the Yankees to acquire him. Wow. I hadn't dreamed of recreating the legendary Cards' infield of '23. (Fifth in the NL Central!) Does anyone in the Yankiverse want this?

9.  Whatever happens, Goldschmidt will not generate long term hope. He's a one-year rental, and - with all due respect - he conjures visions of Troy Tulowitski and Kevin Youkilis. Over the years, Yank fans have seen our share of great players in their final incarnations. I mean, does anyone here NOT expect to end up with Mike Trout, say, two broken years from now? 

10. He knows what he's getting into. Goldschmidt is no fool. He used to be certifiably great, and he must have often wondered what it would be like to play in NY, to be feted nightly by the Bleacher Creature rollcall. Well, he's gonna find out. He must understand that NYC fan-support is not automatic. Some very good players ended up with very bad final acts in NY. (See Mayberry, John.) I'm sure he'll give us everything he's got. It's just - you know - 37.

R.I.P. to One of the Greatest

 

Rickey Henderson passes way too early at 65.  

I am so very sad.

Back to bait 'n' switch.

 

So spurned by the aging, declining Christian Walker, the Yankees went more agey and decliney with 37-year-old Paul Goldschmidt.

The one thing to be said for this is that it's only for one year, and not the multiple years and enormous dollars that Walker would have commanded. (The bad things are, of course, that Goldschmidt is a righty who no longer walks much and hit all of .245 last year. Also, did I mention that he's 37?) 

And yet again: so the Yanks have absolutely zero faith in their Triple-A first-sacker who hit .290 with some power and is supposedly an excellent fielder? Just saying.

But beyond all that, the Yankees last night—in the wake of Walker going to Houston—trotted out their same old, same old "Playing for the Future" lies. They aren't going to go for anymore top free agents, they let it be known, because that costs too much in future draft picks. 

And as it is, a bunch will be lost next season, when they go full bore after...Kyle Tucker.

Right.

This is right up there with their bait-and-switch games over the past eight years or so. Remember when they failed to pursue Manny Machado, or any of the Slew of Shortstops who hit the free agent market in rapid succession?

That was all because they wanted to hang onto the bucks to go after Bryce Harper when he hit the market. Or J.T. Realmuto, or Shohei Ohtani. Recently, this was updated to how they had to hang on to Hal's hard-earned money if they wanted to sign Yoshinobu Yamamoto, or Roki Sasaki, or Juan Soto...

It soon got tired then, and it's tired now. The Yankees have demonstrated for decades that they could care less about the state of their farm system. They don't want to be anymore obligated to sign great, homegrown stars in the future, than they feel obligated to sign other people's stars today.

But they need a plausible-sounding excuse, one that we're going to hear over and over again soon, about how we couldn't afford even Alex Bregman or Pete Alonso, because we're cleverly waiting on Kyle Tucker—the guy we wouldn't trade for. 

Well, Bologna's not just a university town in Italy. Expect the "we can't possibly give up so many draft picks because we need them for the big star who's just right" to be trotted out again and again over the next few years.

Spoiler alert: Going forward, Hal has absolutely no intention of spending his money on the top stars—or even the "Plan B" stars—as far as he can help it. Don't believe the hype about draft picks. The Yankees will always find another excuse to make some half-assed effort like this.

So... who's going to get on base this year, so Aaron Judge can drive him in?

A simple game, a Saturday-before-Xmas parlor trick...  

Behold the '24 Yankee leaderboard in On Base Percentage, minus the dearly departed legion of the lost. Our roster sports three with OBPs above .300, which - frankly - ain't much. Not listed is the newcomer, Cody Bellinger, at .325. 

Basically, opposing teams last year did their best to pitch around Juan Soto and Aaron Judge. Now that Soto is gone, it's a long, steep drop in putting runners on base. 

I look at these ghastly numbers and wanna puke. WTF? How is it that Anthony Volpe could not grind out an OBP above - at least - .300? Did anyone ever coach him to bunt? (As Soto did, now and then?) Did anyone coach him to grind, to work the count, to bleed the pitcher? If Volpe added 40 walks to his season, he might steal another 15 bases.  

Then there is DJ LeMahieu, the man known for his fundamentals. Dear God... 

How does anybody feel the Yankees last year were well managed? They were a team that chased HRs, that's all.  

Wanna see what a championship team looks like? Here's the OBP of the 2009 Yankees, along with games played. 
 

Eleven batters with OBPs above .325. And this was not one of history's greatest teams. They were just willing to grind.  

Listen: The 2025 Yankees don't need another HR masher. They need pests. They need walks. They need runners on base. They need a Brett Gardner, a Bobby Richardson, a Mickey Rivers. 

MEANWHILE... Jose Trevino has been traded. A Yankee overachiever, he never seemed to recover from that midseason undressing, when the Redsocks ran wild, exploiting his creaky throws to second. Another bullpen arm. Hey, ya never know... 

Good luck, Jose. 

Yankee Holiday Songbook

And so it is Christmas.  

And what have we done...
Another year over.  

The World Series still not won.

 

Soto's Gone (Jingle Bells)

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Just five miles away.
Uncle Stevie closed the deal while Hal refused to pay...

Hey.

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Yes he joined the Mets.
Hal says it will be okay. Brian's signed some ancient vets.

Dashing all our hopes.
No more tough at-bats.
Our joy must come from bobbleheads 
and buying new themed hats.

We won't see a ring.
Not in our lifetimes.
All we have is this song to sing.
Well, at least it rhymes.

Oy!

Soto's gone. Soto's gone.
Just five miles away.
Uncle Stevie closed the deal.
While... Hal... refused... to... pay!

---

I'm Dreaming of Bill White's Christmas

I'm dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas,
Just like the ones we used to know.
Where the Yanks don’t stumble
The Red Sox crumble 
And the owner cared less about the dough.

I’m dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas 
Back with the booth I used to like. 

When Frank Messer bought his child bride a trike... 
And, of course, with Scooter at the mic.

I'm dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas
Just like the ones we used to know.
With Ron Guidry sliders 
And drunk all nighters...
Before Billy Martin hit the snow.

I’m dreaming of Bill White’s Christmas 
Back with the booth I used to like...

When the off season would get us psyched...
And, of course, with Scooter at the mic.

 ---

Boonie The Robot Skipper (Rudolph the Red Nosed...)

Boonie The Robot Skipper
Runs things analytically. 

Ignoring the situation.

Percentages is all he sees.  

He sits there blowing bubbles. 

Never chews a player out, 

for bad throws or bad base-running 

Good qualities is all he'll tout. 

Then one day while in the Bronx
World Series on the line.
Watched the whole damn team melt down
Thinking, “We're good. This is fine.”  

Boonie the Robot Skipper
Failed to change the course that day.
Still the front office loves him.
So... he'll... never... go... a-way.
 

Even if the Yankees sign Anthony Santander, simple numbers reveal the overwhelming loss of Juan Soto

For whatever it's worth, whispered bleats about Anthony Santander joining the Yankees seemed to cool yesterday. Might be a calm before the signing. Or maybe the rumors were a head-fake. 

Santander remains the bull-goose slugger in the free agent auction barn, mostly due to one stat: Home Runs. Last year, he hit 44 - including four against the Yankees. (Note: We weren't Santander's biggest victim. Toronto gave up six.) 

The switch-hitting Santander does whack HRs. Last year - his best season, by far - in the clutch offensive category called "Late and Close," he hit 12 HRs and batted .290. Not bad. (By comparison, Soto hit 5, but batted - gulp - .343.) Overall, Santander hit 24 solo shots. (Same as Soto.) If you simply look at HRs, he's Reggie. Dig deeper, and you wonder. 

The more we ponder the possible tandem of Cody Bellinger and Santander, the more we must appreciate the challenge of replacing Soto.

Let's compare two pairs - coming and going? - from last year.

Bellinger                  Gleyber &
& Santander            Soto
AB: 1111                       AB: 1163 
H: 277                         H: 317
HR: 62                        HR: 56
RBI: 180                     RBI: 172
SB: 11                           SB: 11
BB: 103                        BB: 194
BA: .249                      BA: .272
OBP: .308                   BA: .365

Conclusion: Even if we add Santander, we are fucking fucked...

Santander and Bellinger will draw about half the walks that Gleyber and Soto contributed. Remember all those 14-pitch at-bats, when Soto fouls off five breaking balls, glares at the mound, between smiles at the ump - eventually drawing a walk that emulsifies the pitcher? They're gone. Neither Santander nor Bellinger have the chops to replace Soto's On Base Percentage, even when his numbers are diluted with Gleyber's. (Who Late and Close hit 2 HRs and batted .241. And for the record, Bellinger in the same category: 2 HRs, .343.)

The moral? To even begin to replace Soto, the Yankees must add two (2) major hitters. One could be Santander - or an entirely different hitter. Let's not obsess over his 44 HRs. The Yankees need a grinder - a Youkilis, a Brett Gardner - a guy who draws walks and flusters pitchers. Yeah, HRs are nice. But we should have plenty in 2025. We need somebody on base, and I'm not sure that's Santander.