It's time to project our projections for 2025. Here are mine. Read them and weep

The IT IS HIGH 2025 PREDICTION CONTEST is now underway. 

Say your sooths, eject your projections, prognosticate your progs, and predict away!   

1. The number of Yankee regular season victories. 

2. The number of Aaron Judge HR. (1st tie-breaker)

3. The final batting average of Jasson Dominguez. (2nd tie-breaker.)

Post them in the comments before Thursday at noon. (Those of you who already have voted; you have until then to amend your predictions - but, please, don't drive me nuts.) 

Meanwhile, it's time for me to put up or shut up. Since I can't shut up, I must put up. And you must put up with me putting up. Ah, wordplay! It's like dining with M.C Escher. 

"You're right, M.C., I should never say never. I tell myself to never say never. It never works. I always end up saying never. I should never say always, but I never do. Whenever I say never, I always think, that’s it, never again! It always never works."

I could go on. (Escher would, forever.) Here are 10 Bold Timid Predictions for 2025.

1. The Yankees will finish fourth in the AL East.

Why do I feel this way? Boston is on the verge of one of its every-fifth-years uprisings.  Baltimore is coming of age. Tampa will play before sell-out crowds. That leaves Toronto, which will be gnarled up with the USA/Canada bullshit; the Jays will finish last, behind us. Yes, we will beat Toronto. Hooray. 

2. The Yankees will win 78 games.

Why do I feel this way? Depth. We have none. We enter 2025 with our utility man, Oswaldo Cabrera, playing 3B, and our Scranton call-up, Ben Rice, as DH. Our fifth starter is Carlos Carrasco. Why kid ourselves? The injuries won't suddenly cease. The next wave - and there will be one - will mean replacing starters with Triple A lug nuts. This current lineup might win 85 games. The replacement lineup will not be  a .500 team.

3. Aaron Judge will hit 60 HRs.

Why do I feel this way? Giancarlo Stanton is gone. If he returns in, say, July or August, it won't be for long. His absence will free up Judge to DH whenever necessary. I think he'll thrive in that role. Also, after mid-August, there won't be much to watch, aside from Judge chasing his own HR record. He will be our source of pride. When Met fans claim Juan Soto is better, we will shut their mouths with our bare hands.

4. The Martian will hit .232. 

Why do I feel this way? Dunno. But .232 is the exact point where you wonder if 30 HRs is worth 150 strikeouts. That's how Jasson Dominguez's rookie year will unfold. He can close his eyes and walk into 30 HRs, but the Ks will pile up. I think The Martian will have a fine career - at his peak, an all-star - but he will never be Mike Trout. I hope Yank fans can accept this. And God help JD if he starts slowly, because the crowds - rabid for hope - will start calling for Spencer Jones. We might end up crushing two prospects in one year.

5. Max Fried will win 18 games.

Why do I feel this way? He's a lot like Gerrit Cole. He's cagey. He's wily. He knows his craft. Between now and the end of his eight-year contract, he'll miss a season due to injuries. They all do. But this will be his best year with the Yankees. He will be one of our few sources of pride. And whenever he pitches, in the backs of our heads, we'll wonder: Where the fuck would we be without him?

6. Cody Bellinger and Paul Goldschmidt will hit - until they're hurt. 

Why do I feel this way? Well, why WOULDN'T I feel this way? Why would any self-respecting Yankee fan NOT expect them to go down? Seriously, when you ask these questions, do you know that you look like a fool? 

7. The depth - or lack of it - will kill us. 

Why do I feel this way?  Good grief, I already said this. Did you even read the top part of this post? And this is not a bold prediction. It's a diddly shit prediction. We all know the Yankees play well until the gonads tweak. That's where depth comes in. If we have a Cameron Maybin or Matt Carpenter, we make the playoffs. If we have, um, J.C. Escarra? - well - I dunno. 

8. The bullpen will be strong until Boone kills it.

Why do I feel this way?  Because of fucking history, that's why! Boone kills bullpens the way Elon Musk kills retirement plans. You think he'll suddenly change? Why would you feel this way? We all know what will happen. First to go will be Luke Weaver, last year's miracle baby. Boone will use him up like a car battery in a blizzard. Once he's gone, he'll move to the next pitcher, then the next, then the next. We're managed by Agatha Christie. 

9. Anthony Volpe will have a quietly successful season. 

Why do I feel this way? Fans wonder if he'll hit for power (20 HRs) or average (.255.) I say he'll do both. Trouble is, he won't be Bobby Witt Jr. He won't be Francisco Lindor. He might not be Jackson Holliday or Boston's looming stud. This is a world ruled by superhuman shortstops, and Volpe won't be one. I hope that doesn't destroy him.

10. You Know Who will hit well for the Mets - until he gets injured. Yes, the Yankee tweaks taint will follow Long Gone Juan. And when he is in the ice bath, that'll be a fuck of a lot of money circling the drain. Too much money for fans or Gammonites to accept. 

I honestly think he outsmarted himself by chasing every last thin dime. Met fans will cheer him - they just want us to grouse - but the rest of humanity will see through his wondrous smile. And when he goes down, good luck, Mets!

And good luck to you all. Now... put up or shut up.