Dear Madam or Sir,
Didja see what those dirty rotten Mets just went and did? Unbelebable! They traded Brandon Nimmo, a lifetime Met, leaving a big-ass hole in their outfield. Hah. We should start drinking, right?
Uh, well, why isn't anybody hoisting a grog? Everybody looks a bit stressy, woeful, downcast. It always gets this way when Daddy poormouths - as you did last week - about paying the rent.
It's the way you've been grumbling lately, while the Mets just grin.
That hole in their outfield? It won't last long. They might decide to sign Kyle Tucker or Cody Bellinger, or both. They might just headfirst into bidding wars, and if so, Yank fans have dark fears over how they will end.
Sir, at some point, you must face off against the schoolyard bully - super-billionaire Stevie Cohen - yep, the guy who kicked your ass last year in the chase for Juan Soto.
Once again, the Mets may seek to sign one of your main free agent targets.
It won't do any good to call Cohen and plead prudence, as you've done in the past. He is the pimply eighth-grader who decided your bike belongs in his garage. Meanwhile, you're the pipsqueak who thinks everybody can get along, if they simply go behind closed doors and divvy up the work force. Nobody needs bidding wars. They should just do what owners always do... collude.
Soon, maybe this week, Cohen is going to declare interest in Tucker and/or Bellinger, and back it up with more money than the Tampa Rays pay in a year. He won't be alone. The Dodgers, Cubs, Phillies and maybe even Boston will join the bidding.
I can't tell you who to sign. But this business of finishing second in free agent bidding wars needs to end.
Yes, those awful, mean-old, hedge fund billionaires have more money than you. And yes, it's terrible - just terrible! - that the taxpayers of NYC expect you to pay rent on Yankee Stadium. How dare they! Commies!
Sir, at some point, you must stave off the bully - beat the Mets in a contract war. You must show- (even if it's not true) - that the Yankees are still New York's top team. Right now, that perch is perilous.
I know you don't want to hear this, but this winter, it's time for you to dig deep... and spend.

4 comments:
Alternatively, when Mistah Hal digs deep Mistah Hal should instead not dig deep into his pockets (because we all know he rarely does that) but rather he should have one of his trosted minions dig a really big hole deep in his backyard so he can go jump in it because frankly that is where Mistah Hal belongs.
I hope that I just made my position clear on this matter.
Thank you
Frankly, I was a little baffled by the Nimmo trade, just because the guy the Mets got is old and in steep decline. Sure, they're going to dump their current 2B, Jeff McNeil, which is a good thing. But why deal Nimmo for so little?...
...And that makes it all the more terrifying, in a way. One of the smartest GMs in the game, David Stearns, backed by one of the richest magnates, is up to something deep, dark, and ingenious.
To which I say...good on them both. The ONLY way Hal is going to be forced to open that wallet (and let the moths out) is if the Mets look ready to take away this town. Go to it, Metsies—force us to do something!
Soto , Belli, Tucker Right to left --- ouch!
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