On KTZZ, channel 22 in Seattle, you'll find a collection of truly vintage vintage TV. The Kate Smith Show just wrapped up, sponsored by Norge. Now another tale from The Whistler is just beginning.
True, there are 2025 commercials between the shows, all of them low-rent and crappy, for products available through an 800 number (though the URL does appear, it's always in smaller type).
Yeseterday, I was in a great mood, heightened by four consecutive episodes of Superman on the Heroes & Icons channel. All black and white, and the first even featured the original TV Lois Lane, Phyllis Coates. Flintier and not as cuddly as her successor, but pretty darned good. Those oldest black and white shows are actually serious, as opposed to the more kiddie-friendly fare later on. I still love the cruelty Supie showed when confronting the Mole Men. That trait got taken out pretty damn fast in subsequent scripts.
When these shows were popular on network TV, the Yankees were indisputably the greatest team in baseball. Yogi, the Scooter, Whitey, Mickey, Moose...rarely did they miss a shot at a ring, and when they got one, they rarely missed bringing a ring home.
Casey was a comedian, a sage, a purveyor of some truly strange platoon and defensive lineup moves, a tough competitor who had Rizzuto pushed off the team to make room for Enos Slaughter when the Yanks had a raft of outfielders on the injured list. (Stengel famously told the Scooter to get a shoeshine box and change careers when Phil tried out for Casey's Dodgers in the 1930s.)
I'm an old guy who should lose 30 pounds, find a good hair growth supplement and stop thinking I can carry multiple heavy bags of groceries a mile and a half to our apartment. Yesterday, I smoked too many cigarettes and liked it, but today woke up with a slight smoker's cough and that wheezy chest feeling when I was hacking. I haven't had a drink since last Sunday because my iron is kind of high and booze suppresses the liver enzyme that keeps it under control. I've been getting a lot of headaches, mostly in and around the eyes, thanks to the constantly damp, gloomy weather in this corner of the current Reich (the Third having resurrected in the USA).
But even if I wasn't born yet and then not old enough to appreciate the 1950s Yanks, I wish some of their ashes would drift down onto today's sadly mediocre team, from the front office to the dugout to the broadcast booth.
Obviously, that ain't happening. However, the $64,000 Question just started, sponsored by Revlon, in a Christmassy-decorated episode. Sure, that show became the most prominent of crooked quiz shows, eventually. Scooter also got pushed out of short into the broadcast booth. But before those events, we had some team.
The contestent is in the Isolation Booth and can win a 1956 Caddy. I gotta go.
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18 comments:
Thanks for the glorious post, JM! It brought me out of my news-induced despair. Don't forget to drink enough water today!
Terrific post, JM! Hilarious and poignant—all at the same time. The very definition of being a Yankees fan today...
And I guess, somehow, nobody was up to catch my 3:36 AM post this morning. (Damn, it's hard to scoop the competition when nobody's paying attention!).
Read it and weep:
Well, surprise, surprise. It's official: the Yankees say Cody Bellinger is moving on, and claim he demanded Aaron Judge-level money: $37 mill a year.
Could be true. Could be purest malarkey. And who cares?
The Yanks put themselves in a box where they had to sign him. They did not. So now they'll pretend to chase Bo Bichette for a while. They won't sign him, either.
Maybe we'll hear some bleats about Kyle Tucker for a while. Or a pitcher—any pitcher. Wouldn't be so bad, passing on these guys...except that they have absolutely no "Plan B" to pivot to. Instead, they will simply finish third (or worse), have their first losing season since 1992, and sit around trying to blow up baseball with the other noodniks.
I sincerely hope they do.
I had seen your post, Hoss, even though I didn't get up until noon, and it took me a while to get to the intertubes. But I seen it.
Sounds like Boras is really reaching when it comes to Cody. He's good, at least some years, but he's not Judge. It's absurd. Who the hell would pony up that kind of dough for him?
Aside from LA.
JM, when you reach episode 13, in season 1, you'll see Superman committing felonies of kidnapping and manslaughter. Although the way the people die is quite amusing. And episode 21 is famous for the phrase that has lasted even to today, " No comment until the time limit is up."
My opinion. BS Boone is a Bullshit Artist, Politician and not a great manager.
JM - do they have a ny water where you're located ?
I'd follow BiTTY'S advice if they do.
This why so many people name their pets Drate . . .
So that they are reminded to drink more water when folks greet 'em.
JM (and anyone else)
Just an FYI but there is a free streaming app called JLTV (Jewish Life TV) that has a dedicated channel to Soupy Sales. I believe it's 24 /7 of Soupy Sales.
All I can confirm is it's always there whenever I look.
Soupy was incredible given that it's pretty much one camera and 90% improv.
I watch it with a Roku.
I take no joy criticizing Aaron Boone. He seems like a nice guy. Not a great strategist, but most decisions are made by the AI bot that masquerades as their 'analytics' department.So how would anyone know? He's there for shoulder massages, protecting players and - most importantly - making excuses for administrative malfeasance and incompetence.
He's pretty good at that stuff. Can he manage? We misunderstand his role if we compare him to the great managers of yore. He is to baseball managing what a news reader is to journalism. An empty suit, stripped of any decision-making. A friendly face doing a hollowed out job, because the rules require that job to exist.
But the biggest reasons for not wasting time hating Aaron, is the real culprits - Brian, Randy, Lonn and, most importantly, Hal - deserve our dedicated derision and abuse.
Maybe in an alternate universe or another baseball team, we might discover Boone is actually a good strategist, a deft chess player, a master of deception and intrigue, an instinctive and ruthless measurer of talent and potential, vaseline-lensed in 'niceness' to further decieve his opponents.
We'll never know, so long as the Gang of 4 incompetents - Brian, Randy, Lonn & Hal - have anything to do with the Yankees.
Wow - so if Boone is not an Idiot – we must pivot our attentions elsewhere.
So then . . .
. . . all this time . . .
(sniffles, voice cracking as AA fights back the tears)
WE'VE CONDEMNED AN INNOCENT MAN ! ! !
I agree, JM...IF Boras did indeed asked for—what is it supposed to be now, $37 mill for 7 years?
Maybe he did. Who knows?
Maybe it's just a negotiating ploy. In which case the Yanks say, 'Thanks very much, that's too high,' and go make eyes at Bichette and Tucker. Or they say, 'Well, if you actually get that, let us know, and we'll talk again.'
But that's not what they said. Apparently they threw up their hands, announced 'That's it!' and walked away.
I doubt if Bellinger will actually get that money. But whatever he gets, we'll soon start hearing the Yankees tell us again, 'Oh, we finished second!'
JM, I had no idea you were 30 lbs overweight and smoked like a chimney! Wow, I will work on putting up a "lazy man's guide to fitness" article on this blog. (Coming soon to a theatre near you.) Although when you say you carry heavy bags of groceries a mile and a half, that actually sounds like you're in pretty good shape. Hell, I don't think I could do that! Carrying stuff is very underrated in difficulty. That's why the military does them rucksack marches to get the men in shape.
Hoss, I think they never really wanted to re-sign Bellinger because they knew he would cost too much. That's why their first order of business was to make that qualifying offer to Grisham, which they knew he would accept. Then they wouldn't have to make any other "big" move for the rest of the winter.
Anyway, once Grisham accepted the Q.O., and when they failed to sign any real free agent pitching, which was readily available, then I think bringing Bellinger back would be a mistake. I really don't see the point of it. Seeing how things have shaken out, they might as well just play Jasson Dominguez in LF.
Of course, that would run the danger of developing a player, so they won't do that either. They'll make sure that Dominguez flops this year, and two or three weeks into the season, some reject will become the starting left fielder. Dominguez will be benched for a while, then they'll say "he needs to play everyday", and send him to AAA. After a few years of up and down yo-yo activity, he'll be traded for a bag of money or released. That's the new Yankee player development plan which has been in place during most of Cashman's tenure.
Boone may be a nice guy, but he's in over his head as a MLB manager. He doesn't belong in the dugout. He shoulda gone to work for MLB as an underling for that asshole Rob Manfred. The guy who wipes Manfred's ass after an ivory throne session.
A guy who is that bad at his job is going to catch a whole lotta flak from Yankee fans. He deserves all the abuse he gets. He may have thrown away a World Series Championship by bringing in a rusty pitcher just off the injured list into a bases loaded jam in the 9th inning. Crazy, just crazy. If that's what the number crunching fools told Boone to do, Boone has to have the brains, guts and backbone to say "FUCK NO!". Well, he did the stupid thing, made the wrong choice, and the rest is history.
I used to watch JLTV back in New York for Burns and Allen and Jack Benny. Then they were doing QVC-style jewelry sales all the time and I gave up on them. Thanks for the tip!
Exactamundo, Hammer.
Well, I don't smoke like a chimney, Hammer. A pack will last me five days or so. I just had a couple extra the other day. But I am heavier than I'd like. The only real exercise I've been getting here in Germany is resistance band workouts a couple times a week and long walks when the weather is decent.
I haven't had a drink for a week now and it looks like I've lost 4 or 5 pounds, which is about right. Probably water weight, but still better than nothing!
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