Look it sucks but...

If any of you saw the picture of Othani and Yamamoto hugging each other after winning the WBC it would be understandable to infer that the two of them were close (or became close) and worked all of this out last year. 

It's why Othani did the big deferral but put in the out clause that basically said, "I'm doing this because you promise to get Yamamoto and if you don't I'm not staying." 

This was well planned out. 

We never stood a chance. It wasn't the extra twenty five million. Or even fifty.  

Kid grows up as a lifetime fan of the Dodgers plus his friend picks the Dodgers. Plus they are a great team and organization. And they offered over 300 million dollars. 

Done deal in the womb.

The only question is what do the Yankees do now. 

There are a couple of Japanese pitchers worth getting but we all fear the "Ghost of Kei Igawa" who was the consolation (booby) prize after losing out on Dice K. 

I like trading with the Sox for Dylan Cease plus Yoan Moncada. Not that Moncada is good. He's a washout, but he plays third and we need to end "The Curse of Yoan Moncada", and get the universe straightened out. 

These are not tears. Well maybe a few. 

We also need to sign Hader for the pen. 

There ARE real moves to be made.   If the Yankees off season is ONLY getting Soto and not acquiring any other top talent, like they did last year,  then yes, they truly are not worth following anymore. 

The next couple of weeks will tell all. 

In the Yankiverse, it is a dark, dark day.

Well, there isn't much to say.

Yoshi Yamamoto will play in LA, because the Dodgers are America's most iconic team, and baseball's greatest showcase.

They beat out the Mets, who soon will become New York City's dominant franchise. (That will probably happen by next July.)

Today, the Yankees are officially just another team, and - frankly - a middling one, in the American League, and a bottom feeder in the AL East.

Some of you might want to shift strategy and immediately ponder the signing of, say, Blake Snell and/or Jordan Montgomery, to buttress hopes by imagining ridiculous trades, or maybe even imagine Giancarlo Stanton's weight loss. 

I cannot do this.

It's over, folks. Not just 2024. The whole thing about the Yankees. It's done. 

They once were Derek Jeter. Now, they are Jeter Downs.

They once were Thurman Munson. Now, Ben Rortvedt.

They once were Mickey Mantle. Now, what, Estevan Florial?

I wonder if Hal Steinbrenner, over Christmas dinner, will ponder the decline and fall of the once mighty team, formerly the greatest sports tradition in America?

It's gone, folks. He had everything, and he let it go. It's over.

The Christmas Choir is assembled. Sing along with The Master

 

The Yankees salute their fans.

 

Yep, it's official. Meet your Number Two starter for 2024: Carlos Rotundo.

The final word, at least as reported on SNY, is that the Yankees did not even come in second in the Yoshinobu Yamamoto sweepstakes. Apparently, the Mets matched the Dodgers' $325-million offer, and might have gone higher. 

Word is that Yamamoto wanted a bigger stage than Flushing. And so he shall have one—but not in the Bronx. 

The Yankees now claim they were not really all that hot in pursuit of the Japanese phenom at all. They tell us now that they believed their real need this off-season was to shore up their hitting. 

So they signed one guy. On a rental basis. And now they don't have enough pitching, having dumped six pitchers to acquire an outfield mediocrity who has already flamed out in Boston, and a potential superstar they have under contract for exactly one year. 

The Yankees are like a guy pulling up his socks because they're too short—only to have the toes tear out. Yeah, they fit now.

Is this latest media line for real? Who knows? It's impossible to know what the Yankees' front office is thinking anymore. I don't know if THEY even know what they're thinking.  

What's most astonishing is the great lengths the Yanks went to in order to convince us they were hot in pursuit of YY. Cashman and crew flying out to Japan to watch him pitch (and conveniently missing what promised to be a venom-filled Old-Timer's Day at the Stadium). Presenting him with his No. 18 uniform. Aaron Boone trotted out to tell us what a regular guy he seemed like. 

How many times have we seen this in the past? 

All the stories about how they couldn't sign Manny Machado because they were waiting to sign Carlos Correa but they couldn't sign Carlos Correa because they were waiting to sign Bryce Harper. Last year's infamous, "We're not going to be 'one-and-done'" after they signed Carlos Rodento—and then they were. 

Excuse me. Actually it was more "none and done," considering what El Pauncho turned out to be.

I would compare this to Lucy yanking the football away from Charlie Brown, except that this year, the Yanks ran their usual bait-and-switch too early. I doubt if they have suckered a single extra, season-ticket plan out of the fans so far, and they won't do it now. 

It's more like Lucy lifting the football while the rest of us just stand there watching dull-eyed, asking, "Oh, are we supposed to do something here?"

The Yamamoto bidding war farce was an example of the con man taking the con one step too far, and going back to the same mark one time too many. Instead of getting us to buy in, it has only made the season ahead already seem all the grayer and more hopeless than it already looked.

I don't just mean this in terms of whatever team they finally put on the field—a team that will, I fear, look very much like the team they have now. 

It would be reasonable to say that the bidding for free agents has gotten out of hand. Giving $325 million to Yamamoto is an enormous risk—as was the signing of Ohtani, even with all that deferred money. If the Yankees decided instead to strip their stumbling organization down and rebuild from the bottom up, focusing instead on truly developing players through the system, I wouldn't kick. 

But instead we get more of the same-old, same-old: the Yankees pretending they are going all-out to win, when in fact they are simply trying to hoodwink enough fans into buying the hype again. 

This time, though, I think they don't really understand just what they've done to the franchise. 

There's nothing left, now. No oversold minor leaguers they can string us along with. The Martian has gone home. No next-year's free agent star they can pretend they are saving their money for. Soon, there will be no more string of winning records, no contending for a playoff spot even into July. No legacy of recent championships to remember.

The failure to sign Yamamoto will have long-term consequences for the Yankees' chances of competing.

Can I have a show of hands from all those who think Juan Soto is going to sign a long-term deal with the Yanks, once he has spent the 2024 season running himself ragged chasing the line drives opposing hitters will bang all around the Stadium off our fungal growth of a pitching staff? Yeah, I didn't think so.

But beyond this, their failure has damaged the franchise's brand in ways the Yankees don't even understand. What they said in conceding The Next Big Thing to the Dodgers is that they are no longer one of the big stages in sports. They no longer want to really compete, they are no longer about anything but bringing in the passing, sideshow attraction. 

Mystique and Aura have left the building.

A Few Thoughts

This AM I woke up convinced that Yammy (How I love ya. How I love ya.) is going to sign with LA. Why? Because in today's Athletic I read one line that changes it all for me. 

Yamamoto grew up as a Dodger fan. 

To me, all things being equal, how do you not choose the team you fantasized about playing for your whole life? 

The only thing we have going for us is how often I am wrong. 

--

Prediction

There are still moves to be made. 

This year's "I did not see that coming"... Brian Cashman's Christmas Stealth Spectacular (C)... will be a third baseman! 

I don't know who, because I can't see it coming. But it's out there. 

--

Brain Cashman's Hot Stove Limericks

Here are some limericks from Brian Cashman...

Though I failed to get Yamamoto

And traded half our our pitching, for Soto.

Fear not, I'm not done. 

We're under the gun.

 And Hal said that, this year I can blow dough.  

--

Our rotation's just Cole so I gotta

fill it up, not with stars, but with foddah.

Monty and Snell want big pay.

Can't do Sonny Gray.

So I'll pivot and trade for Moncada. 

Twuz the Night Before Sterling: An IT IS HIGH holiday traditon

 

The wait goes on.

Drums keep pounding the rhythm to the brain...

According to the Internet, the Yankees met with Yoshi Yamamoto Sunday night at an "undisclosed location." Monument Park? Babe Ruth's gravestone? The Dakota? Broadway, to relive Hal's performance in Kinky Boots? 

The Empire State Building? 

Randy Levine's house?

Wherever, whatever... we can only wait. Last year, the Yankees seemed to win the winter, resigning Aaron Judge and adding Carlos Rodon. Then, over the summer, they crapped the bed.

With Yamamoto in the fold, the Yankees would have:

1) Baseball's best top two ace starters.
b) A bullpen that gets regularly rested.

c) A staff lug nut for the next three to five years.
d) Another long-term contract.  

Without Yamamoto, they would:

a) Desperately spend on whatever free agent pitchers remain.
b) Reconsider trading Gleyber Torres and/or Alex Verdugo for pitching.
c) Push their young arms more quickly through the pipeline.
d) Quietly redirect their goal to be a 2024 AL wild card berth. 

Super.

 

So a very bad indication of the Yankees' chances of signing Yoshinobu Yamamoto came this week from Ken Rosenthal, reporting that, if the Yanks did not get the Admiral of the Eastern Sea, their Plan B was to build a "super-charged" bullpen.

Uh-oh.

Whenever the Yankees start to talk about a back-up plan, it's a surefire sign their hearts aren't really in chasing whoever their "Plan A" supposedly is. And what exactly does a "super-charged" bullpen mean, anyway?

The leading free agent out there is Josh Hader, 30 in 2024, who had 33 saves and a 1.28 ERA with San Diego last season. After that, there's Jordan Hicks, 26, who had 12 saves and a 3.29 ERA pitching for Birds in Toronto and Birds in St. Louis in 2023, and Robert Stephenson, 30, who had just finished Kidnapped and is hard at work on Treasure Island looked good in 42 middle-inning appearances for Tampa Bay last year (2.35 ERA).

Hey, s'all good, man. But...aren't these the sorts of players your New York Yankees should be pursuing anyway, considering how diminished their league-leading bullpen has been by injuries and trades since last year? And exactly how much can you "super-charge" a pen in any case? And since when is Brian Cashman the man to do that?

Probably the best pen the Yankees ever had—and maybe the best what ever was—was on the 1998 Super Team. Five guys—Graeme Lloyd, Ramiro Mendoza, Jeff Nelson, Mike Stanton, and The Great One—lefties and righties, who were usually at their best in the playoffs.

Cashman inherited this...and promptly traded Lloyd and let Nelson sign as a free agent. The team fell one reliever short in the heartbreaking, 2001 World Series—and then was left to desperately overwork Paul Quantrill, Tom Gordon, and Rivera in the 2003-2004 catastrophes.

There's also the question of exactly how much "supercharging" any bullpen really does in the first place.

In 57 years of following baseball, far and away my favorite player has been Mariano Rivera (sorry, Mick).  It was actually a relief for me when he retires, I was so nervous when he went into games.

Rivera was, by any measure, the greatest relief pitcher who ever played (sorry, Goose). No question. 

But did even The Great One really make that much of a difference?

The year before Mo took on the closer role, it was held by John Wettleland. He ran up 43, regular-season saves and another 7 in the postseason, where he was the World Series MVP. 

What happened when Rivera got hurt midway through the 2002 season? Steve Karsay, Mike Stanton, and Ramiro Mendoza compiled 22 saves between them, and the Yanks took 103 games and the division title.

When Mariano got hurt early in the 2012 season, Rafael Soriano stepped in and saved 42 games, as the Yanks won the division and got to the ALCS. In 2014, the year after Rivera retired, David Robertson stepped up and saved 39 games.

Do you see where I'm going with this?  

It's not to denigrate Mariano in any way, shape, or form. He was better than all those guys. But the gap between the very best bullpen and, I dunno, maybe the 5th or 6th best bullpen in any given season, is just not that large. Last year, the Yankees had what was, statistically, the best pen in the majors. What exactly did that do for them?

Any vaguely competent general manager—or even Brian Cashman—can usually find guys to fill in the bullpen, at least for a limited time. And it probably should be a limited time. What was most extraordinary about Mariano was his consistency and durability as a closer.

In 2022, for instance, Hader ran up a 5.22 ERA. In 2021, it was 1.23. Who knows what it will be in 2024? Jordan Hicks was also 3-9 in decisions last year, and in 2022 was 3-6 with 0 saves, and a 4.84 ERA. Stephenson has turned in jekyll-and-hyde performances (see what I did there?) his whole career, with ERAs as high as 9.90, 9.26, 6.08, 6.04, 5.43.

As a great man might say, there's no predicting relief pitching, not when you no long have a unicorn like Rivera. The real key to a "super" pen is having a GM who knows enough to stockpile depth, and be agile and adjustable in his wheeling and dealing—and that ain't you-know-who.

In today's baseball, with its six-inning starters, relievers get worn down more easily than ever. The key, particularly for the playoffs, is getting those stud hosses who can give you six terrific innings, one outing after another. 

Is that guy Yamamoto? I dunno—but I think it's worth the gamble (with other people's money). 

What the Yankees also have to realize is that they are in a knife fight now, and they have to win it. With it coming down to Yanks and Mets, it's all about who is going to own New York going forward. And no "super-charged bullpen" is going to decide that.

Yankees sign player named after famous race track

Everybody has a joke about the Yankees signing scrap heap IF Jeter Downs yesterday. Better enjoy the yuks now: Barring a rain of injuries, he'll probably see most of 2024 in Scranton - unless he gets jettisoned in an upcoming roster purge.

Thus, here are 10 fun facts about Jeter Downs. Pardon me if you've heard them:

1. With clean-shaven Alex Verdugo, the Yanks now have two of the three Boston lug nuts in the 2022 Mookie Betts blockbuster, which officially qualifies as a Redsock bomb (inscribed with the name "Chaim Bloom," Boston's designated whipping mule.) 

2. Obviously, whenever facing Boston, the Yankees must play Downs. He should bat leadoff and receive all our juju. Any successes, regardless of how trivial, should be embellished. If he singles, score it as a double. 

3.  He's a former first-round pick, from 2017. For some reason, (a psychological desire to relive his youth?), Brian Cashman loves to bag ex-top picks. (Clint Frazier, Billy McKinney, Andrew Benintendi, Justus Sheffield, et al.) Thus far, can't say the track record is all that exciting. 

4. Yes, he was named after Derek Jeter. As Robbie Cano was named after Jackie Robinson. And Jackson Melian after Reggie. 

Did nobody in America feel compelled to name their son Yogi?

5. Prior to the Betts deal, Downs was a key cog in the Reds' 2018 trade for Yasiel Puig. Interesting that Cincinnati dealt him after barely one year in the system. 

6. He's 25, a few months older than Juan Soto. Hey, you never know about late-bloomers. Some guys need to figure it out on their own time lines. But Downs peaked in 2019 - hitting .276 with 24 HRs, between single and Double A - and the Dodgers quickly dealt him. Seems to be a recurring event: Hopeful year, get traded.

7. Want a comparison? Think of last year's Four Musketeers: Jake Bauers, Billy McKinney, Franchy Cordero and Willie Calhoun. They signed for scraps, had their moments, then wilted like Tommy DeVito. (In case you're wondering, Downs bats RH.)

8. Last year, over three minor league levels, Downs hit .222 with 3 HRs.

9. There's no guarantee he'll stick on the Yankee roster. Last week, after signing a similar contract, Billy McKinney lasted three days and was traded to Pittsburgh for movie money. 

10. If his parents were big fans of orators, and they named him "Churchill,"  think of the jokes.

All is frozen in place until Yamamoto decides; in the meantime, let's celebrate the All MLB Yule Team

 So look, sometime soon - maybe today - Yamamoto will call a news conference and announce that he's signing with the Dodgers for $500 million, all of it deferred until 2030, because - well - he soured on NYC after seeing the pizza rat video, and his Uber driver threw up in the front seat. 

Therefore, in the meantime, let's set the Wayback to 2017 and enjoy this from Alibi Ike. 

Some IT IS HIGH additions:

Pee Wee Wreath
Bobby Grinch
Ron Santas
Gus Treeandos
Tiny Tim Rains
Pumpsie Green
Red Barber
Yule Blackwell...

and of course...
Jesus "Ice Cream" Montero

The Nepo Baby vs the Hedge Fund trader? Who's more trustworthy? That's the question for Yamamoto

This weekend, free agent supernova Yoshinobu Yamamoto held second meetings with the Yankees and Mets, perhaps boiling down his future destination to one of the two.

Saturday night, he dined with Met owner Steve Cohen; Sunday night, with Hal Steinbrenner. Tonight, maybe the McDonald's drive-through in Goshen? 

We mortals can only imagine the superhuman charm duel currently raging - ever so tastefully - between these two huggable Olympian gods of love, trust and wisdom. Surely, money will be a factor, but both titans will offer Yamamoto more yen than he can spend in 20 lifetimes, which means the battle could become more than mere dollars. 

It shall be a supreme battle of honor, of friendship... of humanity. 

This might just be the most defining contests of the two billionaires' lives. It's a duel not merely for one pitcher, but for the total validation of one's life and times, a battle of everlasting souls. The contestants: 

The Nepo Baby. 

Estimated worth: Billions, since birth.

Age: 54, old enough to be Yamamoto's dad. 

Personals: Once divorced, married since 2009 to girl from Staten Island. Two kids. Yank owner since 2008. 

Likely strategy: Tout Yankee heritage as most successful sports team in U.S. history. Show treasured artifacts from Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Derek Jeter, et al. Then get down on knees and beg.

Known for: Hating luxury taxes, buddying with Brian Cashman, winning nothing since 2009 - longest drought in Yankee history. Might like horses more than people.

The Hedge Fund Mogul

Estimated worth: Cannot be counted. In the time you spent reading this, he likely made another $1 million.

Age 67, old enough to be Yamamoto grandfather.

Personals: Once divorced, married girl from Harlem, two kids. Mets owner since 2020, after buying his way out of criminality.

Ran unscrupulous hedge funds and paid one largest fines in business history for insider trading, fraud and financial crimes. Owns one of world's largest personal art collections, including the Picasso painting that Vegas mogul Steve Wynn put his elbow through, while showing off. 

Likely strategy: Show the paintings, thrust his hand through the damaged Picasso and pull out check for $1 billion. 

So here it is, everybody. The pampered Nepo Baby heir, or the notorious Hedge Fund motherfucker? Who do you throw in with? Who more embodies modern America? Who will take home the Yamamoto? 

Spanish Lesson #24: Discussion of the Yamamoto Sweepstakes

 

According to an article published earlier today by NBC Sports, both the San Francisco Giants and Boston Red Sox have offers of $300 Million on the table for Yoshinobo Yamamoto.

Two things are conspicuously absent from this article:

1. The words "New York Yankees".
   
   
2. The number of years in the purported contract offer.  Any contract less than or equal to 3 years would be mind numbing.  10 years would be "been there, done that".
   

For #2, I'm going to guess the number will be between 7 and 10.  But I have no idea.

For #1, We'll just observe that "Los Yanquis son propiedad de Don Hal, un cabron notoriamente tacaño."

Stay tuned.

The MLB All-Jingle Bells team

 This is reposted from Baseball's Substack. Go there and sign up 

	(But where is Craig Dingman?) MLB All-Jingle-Bells Team Just like Fred Waring and his Pennsylvanians JAMES FINN GARNER DEC 17   READ IN APP   By Dr. Rajesh C. Oza and James Finn Garner 1B  Josh Bell 2B  Juan Bell SS  Les Bell 3B  Buddy Bell LF  George Bell CF  Cool Papa Bell RF  Beau Bell C   Herman Bell, Terry Bell LHP   Chad Bell, Eric Bell, Fred Bell, Lefty Bell, Ralph Bell RHP   Bill “Ding Dong” Bell, Cliff Bell, Gary Bell, George Bell, Heath Bell, Hi Bell, Rob Bell, Trevor Bell MGR   Jayce Tingley

Verdugo, bewhiskered, looks like a cherub

 Apparently, in anticipation of 2024, Alex Verdugo has ditched his 7th Dwarf beard - even as one bull goose Gammonite still claims the Yankees will trade him and sign Cody Bellinger. Either way, Verdugo looks 22, earrings and all. 

Would he bat leadoff for this 2024 lineup? And, defensively, is it viable? 

Verdugo 
Judge/Soto (platoon)
Soto/Judge (platoon)
Stanton
Rizzo
Gleyber
LeMahieu
Trevino 
Volpe 

Clearly,the Yankees need pitching, pitching, pitching. If they fail to sign Yamamoto, the fallback free agents - Blake Snell and Jordan Montgomery - would instantly become critical pieces. Hold onto your ballcaps. Next week could be wild. 

Does this man suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder?

 

Hey, don't get me wrong. ADHD is a serious thing, particularly among young people. But your average, 56-year-old executive has generally learned to deal with it.

Not our Brian.

Here, in the midst of the mind-bending, soul-crunching, Yoshinobu Yamamoto sweepstakes, the outcome of which may determine the Yankees' fate for generations ("generations," in this context, being defined as the next 5-10 seasons), our man in the Bronx went to the trouble of trading permanently marginal outfielder Billy McKinney (I almost wrote, "Rich McKinney") to Pittsburgh for $450,000 in international signing money. With which he then turned around, and in true, Whirling Dervish Cashman fashion...signed DR catching prospect and professional string bean, catcher Justin Capellan.

Hey, I dunno. Maybe Capellan will turn out to be the next Bill Dickey. More likely, he'll be the next Dermis Garcia. 

But Brian Cashman doesn't know, either. That's the thing about 17-year-olds.

The question is, why is The Brain, or anyone in the Yankees' front office, bothering with this sort of poultry dropping when we're in a life-and-death struggle to sign Yoshinobu Yamamoto? 

I understand that he can't spend 24/7 on inking The Admiral. At some point, the hay is in the barn, all stones have been overturned, and there's nothing more you can do. Though knowing the track record of Brian and HAL, I very much doubt this is the case.

But even if they have done all that is conceivably possible...why are they doing THIS?

Why not sign Josh Hader, the closer they will need anyway, and whose acquisition would say to YY, 'Hey, here's at least five more wins for you"? 

Why aren't they ensconced deep in the bowels of the Yankee Stadium Bat Cave (You know, I know, and the American people know it exists!), working out the fine points of the irresistible offer they are going to hit Monty with if Yamawamadingdong (sorry, already trademarked that nickname!) demurs?

Why aren't they scheming to bring the other great Japanese prospect recently unearthed by the crack team here at IIHIIFII...c, Roki Sasaki, the Monster of the Reiwa Era, to the Bronx WHETHER OR NOT THEY SIGN YAMAMOTO???

Inquiring minds want to know!

Instead...we get a 17-year-old catching prospect. It's almost as if the Cashbot feels, well, we just got rid of a catcher, time to get another one!

Currently, the Yankees still have Austin Wells, who should be their starting catcher next season; José Trevino, who should be his back-up; Ben Biceptvedt, the Monster of the Weight Room, and Ben Rice, the promising minor leaguer in place behind Wells and Trevino.

No need to spend even the smallest iota of brain capacity on wrangling Justin Capellan just now. That's work to fling to the new intern (Oh, right, I forgot: Cashman doesn't hire interns after, you know, considering how he got his job.).

Or is it that Cashie just can't help himself? Has this been his real problem all along? A congenital inability to concentrate on the matter at hand?

 

 

Maybe someday we'll all understand the recent Billy McKinney shell game

Say what you wish about Brian Cashman: 

Like Norman Bates - straightjacketed and with a fly camped on his nose - he's always thinking, always strategizing, always coldly calculating his next move.

Case in point, Billy McKinney, an OF/1B who last year for the Yankees bordered on an afterthought. He hit .227 with 6 HRs and 14 RBIs - in other words, not much. 

That said, all six HRs came in tight games, and one beat the Rangers by a grand score of 1-0. A great night for a former first-round pick, then with his sixth organization in 10 years. You could close your eyes and imagine McKinney having a nice, journeyman career. And - hey - maybe he IS: Maybe this will be his big season, right? He's 29 and can still cover CF. That's not nothing.  

So, anyway, last week, when the Yankees signed McKinney to a minor league deal, I figured, "Well, good for him! When Soto, Judge and Verdugo all tweak their gonads, he'll be our cleanup hitter once again." Among the  Gammonites, the acquisition was characterized as "for organizational depth." Cashman - always thinking, always manipulating - brought him back to patrol the streets of Scranton.

For four days. 

Yep. This  week, the Puppet Master traded McKinney to Pittsburgh, the lost continent for ex-Yankees, for what is called "international money." In theory, this should allow Cashman to spend more on the next 16-year-old Latino stud who excites the Yankee scouts the way that cabana boy a few years ago did Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife. It's all about money, I suppose.

So, here are my questions: By signing and then trading McKinney, was Cashman merely moving one pile of numbers - his minor league budget - into another column, this one for international spending? And was McKinney privy to all this strategizing, or simply used as a ping pong ball? 

Either way, as far as Cashman is concerned, it's sorta brilliant, sorta malevolent, sorta nuts and sorta diabolical. 

That's why we love him. That's why we hate him. I wonder how McKinney feels?

Waiting For Yama

 I rarely make predictions, but waiting for Yamamoto, for the Yankee Brass, is like " Waiting for Godot."  The French version. 

He ain't coming here.

You heard it here first.  Remember that when you are handing out IIHIIF awards. 

A bientôt.

Waiting for Moto

HAL: I'm leaving. I cannot wait any longer.

CASH: No, we must stay! We must stand here, silently, diligently, pondering the essence of our flimsy existence. Life is but a dark hole in an ever-blackening abyss, and we must acknowledge it.

[They stand, unmoving, for seven days and nights, symbolizing the passing of a week.]

HAL: He's not coming. You saw how he looked at LA. He's going Hollywood. You could see it in his eyes. 

CASH: No. He likes me! He really does! I was there for his no-hitter. I shook his hand, my firmest grip, made eye-contact, did the bow thing - aced it. He likes me! I know it! 

HAL: This is a meaningless charade. Hope is a dog with three heads. Not only that, but I gotta pee. He is not coming.

CASH: He will come. It's been foretold in the analytics.  

HAL: We waited for Rodon. Look what happened.

CASHMAN: He is not Rodon.

HAL: We waited for Sonny Gray. We wanted for Micheal Pineda. We waited for-

CASH: Stop! No more! He is not Sonny Gray! He is not Pineda! He is different. And he likes me! He will come.

[They stand, silently pondering the fundamental emptiness of despair and the looming eternity of nothingness, which awaits us.]

HAL: I fear that we shall wait here forever. I don't even know what that is... "forever."

CASH: I'll tell you what is forever. Giancarlo is forever.

GIANCARLO: You rang? Hey, beautiful night. Either of you got a cig? Where are the brewskies?

"Ah, but I was so much older then..."

So according to the statistics kept so meticulously by our own Peerless Leader, the Yankees will probably pull out a back pages win again this year. 

Right now, they lead the Jets by 148.5-125, with just 17 days left in the waning year. Between the DeVito-mania, some further Knick debacle, and assorted distractions, it seems highly unlikely that Zach's Zephyrs can close that gap.

But that doesn't change the fact that your New York Yankees are still within striking distance of running up their lowest tabloid score since The Dynasty What Never Was began in 2017.  

Right now, the low is 152—set during the Covid mini-season. The fact that the Yanks are so close to that low-water mark—in a year when no other New York team did anything of note—should tell management something.

In fact—as anyone consulting El Duque's side column can see for themselves—the backpage totals run like this:

2017—286.5

2018—242

2019—211.5

2020—152

2021—207

2022—210.5

2023—148.5

That's not exactly an indication of growing fan interest. Throughout the Plague Year and the little hiccough from 2021-2022, and it's pretty much a straight line down. The Yankees have never attracted more interest than the year they got within one game of the World Series—their high-water mark ON the field, as well, for The Dynasty That Was Over Before It Began.  

Attendance also generally reflects this trend, reaching a high of 3,482,855. In 2023, it was 3,269,016—still good enough for first in the AL. Want to bet it plunges in 2024 if the Yanks don't build a real contender?

Instead of doing any such thing, though, it appears that they are set on making yet another, token fan appeal. Bring in a single new star, and hope ratings and backpages go through the roof!

They won't—and a season spent plodding along with a non-contender before sparse and sullen crowds won't have Soto signing up for the long term. Much more is at stake right now for the Yankees' future than the team's somnolent management seems to realize. Time to wake up and read the backpages.

 

Surely, Yankee coaches will overhaul Juan Soto's swing, and other tortured thoughts, as we await Yamamoto's decision

As the Moto Watch continues, some tidbits...

1. Can't you imagine the Death Barge brain trust eyeballing Juan Soto's God-given swing and concluding, "Total makeover needed!" He'll have to revamp his entire approach, with a higher launch angle and more strikeouts, the Yankee secret sauce. It might take months to break him down and then, bit by bit, rebuild Soto into a .190 hitter with banjo power, but if any organization can do it...

2. Speaking of bullshit, I cannot recall a Yankee roster more full of "ifs." Seriously. Read the room. Everywhere you look, it's... If Rodon...! If Volpe...! If Giancarlo...! If Rizzo... ! Et al. We are a big, steaming bag of "ifs." 

And we should expect at least half of them to be Nopes. That's frightening.

3. Of all the newcomers, I think Alex Verdugo tops the list of anticipated improvements. Why? He'll shave that ridiculous red beard, which made him look like one of the lower-tier seven dwarfs. Clean-shaven, he'll look 10 years younger.  I wonder what he looks like with a chin? 

4. Right now, having flushed their system of pitching depth, the Yankees are projecting Clayton Beeter as their 5th starter. Yikes! Beeter may someday be decent, in a Clarke Schmidt sort of way, but his ERA last season in Scranton was - gulp - 4.94. Four point nine four. People, I realize we are in a holding pattern, and we'll have to add somebody, but the current staff, as projected, is a full-bore disaster.  

If Yamamoto signs elsewhere, the Yankees absolutely must overpay Blake Snell, who, frankly, looks like the Second Coming of Carlos Rodon. 

Even if they sign Yamamoto, Yankee pitching looks thin as a Necco Wafer. Last year, after the usual round of injuries, we called up Jhony Brito and Randy Vasquez, both MLB-worthy arms. This year, we're talking about Matt Krook and the cast of Glee - the pitching equivalents of Willie Calhoun and Franchy Cordero. This is dire.

5. I'm still trying to process the Dodgers voodoo economics on the Ohtani deal. For years, we heard how the Yankees would face massive luxury tax penalties if they went hog wild in spending. Last year, MLB warned Steve Cohen about overbidding. Since the era of Bud Selig, the phantom salary cap has kept down Yankee spending. 

Now, with their shell game, the Dodgers will pay Ohtani $2 million per year - the cost of a backup catcher - and defer their luxury tax obligations for 10 years. Thus, they can spend on Yamamoto and - frankly - anybody else.

I don't claim to understand the math. But from the naked eye, it sure looks as though MLB has opened the floodgates, and the Dodgers just jogged through. The Yankees better join the surge. It's a new world for deferring payments, right? Unless MLB has rules for NY teams and rules for everybody else?