To understand what Derek Jeter is going through in his rehab, journalist Meredith Marakovitz broke her ankle over the winter

It had to be painful, but there was simply no other way: To report on a broken ankle, you need to have one. It will be a long road back in 2014. She will be slow in getting down the first base line to grab her player of the game. She will be announcing in pain. But nobody will have the kind of insights into Jeter's soul that comes with sharing a broken forepaw. Let's hope both can comeback.

Frankie Cervelli phones home

I've always liked Francisco Cervelli. Soft spot in my heart, (along with the one in my head.)

Twice, Cervelli has gone to a hospital in an ambulance, while wearing his Yankee uniform. Both times happened while blocking home plate. Once, it came in a meaningless spring game, yet Cervelli didn't grow bitter. The second time, he knocked him unconscious, and he struggled with headaches and dizziness, and had to finally wear a huge helmet that made him look like a cartoon character. But he didn't grow bitter.

Two years ago, as Cervelli was packing his locker to head to New York for the start of the season, the Yankees traded for Chris Stewart, and sentenced him to Scranton, which at the time didn't even have a home ballpark. He spent that whole riding on buses along the New York State Thruway. Yet Cervelli didn't grow bitter.

Last spring, Cervelli finally won the starting catcher role with the Yankees. He had worked hard and elevated his game. For the first month, he played like an all-star. He was proving to be one of our most dependable clutch hitters. Then came broken hand, and then came his long, drawn-out guilt by association with A-Rod. Bud Selig chased the Biogenesis scandal because Alex Rodriguez' name turned up a notepad. Cervelli's name was in there, too. I'm not saying it was OK to be that notepad, but if Cervelli played with any other team but the Yankees, he'd have skated. Now, when venturing into Fenway, he'll hear calls of "Juicer," as if the Redsocks are clean.  (What a joke.)

Cervelli's future with the Yankees is a roll of the dice. Either he or Austin Romine will almost surely be traded. The Yankees won't keep three catchers, and with their two top prospects playing the position in Triple and Double A, there's no place to park Cervelli, if he is not the Yankees' backup. Anything can happen in the next month. But flip a coin. Either Cervelli or Romine will be gone.

Yesterday, Cervelli coaxed a few Yankee teammates to join him in an Instagram picture, showing a message of support for the growing resistance in his homeland of Venezuela. It's rare to see a Yankee take a political stance in a hopeful direction. But I'm not surprised about Cervelli. And wherever he goes, I suspect he'll pick himself up and soldier on. He simply is not one to grow bitter.

Looking for meaning in another meaningless loss

For posterity: Jeter's first spring AB, and Suzyn's first POV

Another year, another set of Yankee injuries? What is causing the deluge?

Who can forget that golden moment last spring when, on his first at bat of the Grapefruit Season, Curtis Granderson took one for the team, breaking a meat hook. It was the juju gods telling the Yankiverse, "Eat this, chumps!" From then on, 2013 became a cavalcade of tweaks and groans, as the team jumped from Sick Bay to Over Bay.

We're still debating what happened. Some theories.

1. Bad luck. Maybe there was a glitch in the Matrix, and Keanu Reeves suddenly realized he can hover in the air and kick people, and the universal random sequencing that intertwines the futures of Jesus Montero and Michael Pineda simply popped a gonad. If it was just bum luck, we should do better this year, right? Well, no. If you flip a 50 heads in a row, the odds are still 50-50 on the next coin toss. But hey, you never know.

2. Bad strength training. The Yankee brass this winter fired the strength coach. All the organizational suits and sycophants remained. But that dirty rotten strength coach - I believe his name is Dr. Jesus H. Whippinpost-Martyr - got to see the under-side of the Yankee victory bus. Problem solved! No more injuries! Whooo-hooo.

3. Dark magic. Were the Yankees victims of some evil spell, perhaps placed by some Redsock conjurer or malevolent temptress? I'm betting one of Jeter's supermodel conquests was pissed about the gift-basket - he really should upgrade to Hillshire Farms - and went straight to cloud lady Lilith with a voodoo sock taken from his dresser. Maybe Cashman's stalker has connections in an alternative infundibulum. The Yankiverse must supply counteractive juju.

4. Annual rings. In the off-season, the Yankees managed to do something nobody thought possible. They got older. Amazing. Last year, they fielded one of the most ancient lineups in history. This year, we have a team straight from a 1950's Polident commercial. We added a Beltran, an Ellsbury and a McCann, plus a Brian Roberts and God knows who will play 3B (but he was born before 1990.) If the injuries came about because of age, well, folks, we are screwed. We can expect more of them this year. Imagine that. 


5. Magnets/ghosts/plant pheromones. Is Tampa located in some secret Bermuda Triangle of disease and pestilence, the result of some yet-undiscovered force that weakens bones and grit? Don't laugh. Jose Ramirez, one of our many middling prospects - we are the Walmarts of middling prospects - pulled up lame yesterday, before Day One. Is Steinbrenner Field sitting on some ancient graveyard? All I'm saying is this: If next week, some giant sinkhole forms and takes out Brett Gardner, like that guy two years ago who was sucked down in his bedroom, we need to move to Sarasota.

Any other ideas?

Farewell, Carl Pavano, and let's remember the It Is High Yankeeography: "The Bronx Buttocks"

Opening Day, Opening Loss

Seven teams have worse minor league systems than the Yankees, according to Baseball Prospectus

They include the Rays, Tigers, Athletics and Angels.

Unfortunately, the Redsocks organization is ranked fourth in MLB.

The website states the obvious: "[A]ll it takes is a return to form from some of the more heralded names on the farm and the Yankees will shoot back up the org rankings." 

But each organization is assigned one "Must-See" affiliate, the level where its most interesting prospects are stashed. The Rays and Redsocks will have their studs playing at Triple A this season. The Orioles will showcase theirs at Double A, and the Blue Jays at Low A.

The Yankees "Must-See" affiliate? The short-season Staten Island team.

Dear God, we're supposed to be watching a lineup of 20-year-olds, most of whom will never even make it to Triple A. Talk about disillusionment. I don't know about you, but considering the failures of our top prospects last year, it's going to be hard to get excited about a new bunch of first-year players. Seriously. In the NYP League, isn't everybody still a prospect?

Pay no attention to that snowman behind the curtain. Winter is over. We're still here.

Holy crap. We made it. We're still here.

For a while, I didn't think we would be. There was that nightmare post-season - who won, anyway? - and then the A-Rod thing, and then Robbie, and then Tanaka, and we still only have half an infield... but - hey, we're here. We're still here.

Today, shortly after 1 p.m., the snow starts melting, the gloves go away, and the Christmas lights come down - mentally, anyway. Today, The Master and his Queen will suck on Luden's Cough Drops, readying their harmonic cords for tomorrow's first radio broadcast.  They made it. They're still here.

Tonight, there will be a box score. A BOX SCORE! Tomorrow, there will be a hero and a goat, a pitcher who looked solid and one who couldn't find the plate. There will be a young hitter - Zolio Almonte is usually Mr. February - who raises eyebrows, and a veteran who looks posed for a comeback. He made it. He's still here.

I live in Syracuse, New York, a place where snowflakes come to die, and the car only finally gets warm when you've arrived at your destination, on the shore of a lake whose water looks made from frozen concentrate. We still have five weeks of snow, of road salt and fender benders, of green beer and cabin fever, leading up to that annual true end of winter - the moment SU basketball is bounced from the NCAA tournament. Yes, we have at least 40 days left, bouncing from snowmageddons to snowgasms.

But we made it, everybody. Congratulations! We're still here!  We're still here!

Gil, Anna, Flores, Murphy... Yanks beat No. 1 college football team in nation

Who would win? Today's Yankee lineup vs. last summer

Today

Brett Gardner CF
Francisco Cervelli C
Kelly Johnson 3B
Russ Canzler 1B
Zoilo Almonte LF
Brendan Ryan SS
Adonis Garcia RF
Yangervis Solarte 2B
John Ryan Murphy DH

Then

Tanaka strikes out Ruth, Gehrig, Cobb and Foxx

Exciting news!

Yankeetorial: Gammonites are calling the extension of Brett Gardner a sea change in Yankee philosophy; should we break out the party hats?

Throughout the boot camps and madrassas of the Yankiverse today, fans are bowing in the direction of Tampa, saying "Praise Hal-lah!" and giving thanks for Brett Gardner's 4-year contract extension. The hope? That this hath endeth the Yankees' disastrous policy of letting their stars hit free agency. It's the reason Robbie Cano is in Seattle.

No Gammonite will say this, but the Gardner extension serves as a de facto admission that the brain trust, two or three years ago, should have extended Robbie's pact and made him a lifetime Yankee. Good grief, they should have learned from the near disaster several years back when Jeter hit the market. Back then, the Yankees did what they always do - start poor-mouthing and sniping - and it nearly got out of hand. If Jeter wasn't such an iconic god of Yankeehood, (Praise Hal-ah!), who knows what might have happened? Because once the brass started whispering about Robbie, everything began to barrel downhill.

So today, we are celebrating the "new" Yankee policy. OK. I'm in. Hal-ah hakbar! Always looking for a reason to party. So, hey, everybody, can I ask a question?

What now?

Don't all answer at once. Hello? Anybody?


Well, what comes next, apparently, is the Yankees' heavily whispered "splurge" in international spending, planned for this summer. It was reported in December on a scouting website, and ever since, the brass have wink-winked it: The Yankees plan to spend tens of millions on 16 year old Latinos, even at the cost of tens of millions more in luxury taxes. This will happen in lieu of June draft picks, because the Yankees forfeited all their top choices to sign free agents.

Well, OK. I guess I'm in. Praise Hal-ah. It's not my money. But here's another question about this "new" Yankee front office: Are we ahead or behind the curve?

In the last 10 years, let's face it: The Yankees have been lapped by several teams, most notably the Rangers, Dodgers, Giants, Tigers, A's, Redsocks, Rays and Cardinals - the best run organizations in baseball. The Yankees - for all their money - don't belong in that group. Brian Cashman - Praise him! - is a relentless presence on the waiver wire, baseball's version of American Pickers. But what has kept the Yankees down is hubris, the in-house belief that they are smarter than everybody else.

It is hubris that still haunts the Yankee brass. It is hubris that convinced them they could draft and sign the young pitcher, Gerrit Cole, even though he flat-out told them he was going to UCLA. It was hubris that made them think they could draft a bunch of pitchers who were headed for Tommy John surgery, or that Andrew Brackman would become the next Big Unit. It was hubris that made them think Robbie would always be a Yankee.

Last year, the Yankees got kicked in the mouth - hard. They were a mediocre team and - with A-Rod - a laughingstock. Good grief, when Boston fan friends see me, they can't wait to talk about the Redsocks. The beaming smiles on their faces - Gaahhh, it's hell. Now Jeter - the last bastion of Yankee pride - is turning the page.

Listen: The Yankee front office has to do likewise. It needs to stop thinking of knockout punches and start thinking of jabs. Maybe Brett Gardner is a sign. We'll see.

But if the brass still thinks the Yankees will automatically succeed because they're the Yankees, praise Hal-ah, we need a house-cleaning.

"On March 7, Babe Ruth came to bat at the Fairgrounds on Gillespie Street, stared down a fastball and knocked it into a cornfield. By the time the right-fielder found it, Ruth had walked around all four bases – his first professional home run."

It began in Fayetteville, N.C.

Today's "MUST READ" in the Yankiverse. 

The Gardner extension and the Bailey signing apparently were moves to obscure the Yankee ownership's unwillingness to bid on Cuban talent

Well, it happened, just as we feared.

Saturday, the Yankees signed shoulder-weary RHP Andrew Bailey for $2.5 million, and Sunday they re-upped with the grinder, Brett Gardner, for four years - miniature bursts of spending by a franchise brain trust that spent the last month rattling a cup and begging for nickels.

Today, we get a better sense of the timing: The Retrieval Empire is going to pass on bidding for 23-year-old Cuban SS Aledmys Diaz, according to King George of the NY Post. Apparently, Diaz didn't impress in his tryout, and his agent wants too much money.

OK, I know what you're thinking: WTF do I know? And you're right. I wasn't there. Maybe it's true. Maybe the guy throws like Betty White. Maybe he can't bend down. Maybe he has ringworm. Who knows? What we do know is that it's a familiar excuse: The same one we trotted out when passing on Iglesias, Chapman, Cespedes, and other Cubans who became expensive. When it comes to high-end Cuban talent, the Yankees aren't interested. They'll sign Juan Miranda, Adonis Garcia and Ronnier Mustellier - you know, window dressing for Scranton - but run for the door, when the bids go higher.

Well, we'll see...
But if Diaz turns into a major league shortstop - or, God forbid, a star - then dog-ear this date on your Yankee Meltdown Anniversary Calendar. Because the Yankees will have wasted a rare, golden opportunity to solve their most glaring problem - who plays SS and 2B for the next 10 years - because they preferred to poor-mouth. Today, the infield pipeline is bare. If Diaz becomes a player, and the Yankees did nothing - well - I guess all we can do is make a note of it and remember, OK?

But have you seen those images from the Ukraine?

With an injury here or there, this summer, they could be snapshots of the Yankee fan psyche.

"I let it be known to them that I wanted to stay here and be a part of this. I learned from guys that come from other places, there's no better place to play. I look forward to staying here and helping the team win." Brett Gardner, next Yankee captain?

The Yankees today extended Brett Gardner for four years. 

Assengers, Avemble!

After saying there is absolutely no more money for signings, the Yankees sign Andrew Bailey

Don't get me wrong: I'm not complaining. Whenever Hal 9000 spends his hard-earned money*, I'm OK with it. The Yankees yesterday picked up former stopper Andrew Bailey, who is recovering from a torn-up shoulder. He might be ready by August. They spent $2.5 million on him.

This comes as the brain trust had been claiming for weeks that there was no more money in the till,  the cupboard was bare. Obviously, this was not true. In fact, the Yankees have no problem lying to their fan base. They do it commonly with injuries to players. (To be fair, most teams do; lying comes natural to all secretive, paranoid, super-rich organizations.)

The fact is, whenever the Yankees poor-mouth, they are lying. It's amazing - and sad - how the Gammonites seem to fall for it every time.

Our track record on resurrecting injured pitchers is less than spectacular. Last year, the Yankees tried with Dave Aardsma and Chin-Ming Wang. Years ago, they whiffed on Octavio Dotel, but got one decent season out of Jon Lieber. Scranton always has at least one former stud, trying to come back from surgery. It's part of baseball, I guess.

But now that we know the front office was bluffing about being penniless, the matter of Aledmys Dias becomes front and center. He's the 23-year-old Cuban SS looking for an MLB contract, expected to sign today or tomorrow. Supposedly, the Yankees are interested in him. Considering the state of their infield, he makes far more sense than a bullpen guy who won't be back until after the All-Star break.

So... was this a pre-emptive public relations strike, because they're not going after Dias? I hope not.

Listen: If you can't sell a kid from Cuba the notion that he could become the heir apparent to Jeter, that he could be the shortstop for the New York Yankees... well... either you are not trying hard - or you simply are not offering competitive money. There can be no honest excuse for either.

Of course, we know how the Yankees value honesty.

*That's a joke.

News Flash: Somebody built a statue of Cory Lidle

Yes, that Cory Lidle, the guy who crashed his plane into that building in NYC.

Somebody built a statue of him.

For whatever it's worth, I'd like my statue made of silver. And if you can't build a statue, a pyramid will do.

News from Yankee Country: Romance in the barn

"HERKIMER, N.Y. -- Two men were charged with sex crimes against several cows after a farmer installed video surveillance in his barn to find out why his cows weren't producing milk, state police said."

OK, everybody, what sports teams do these two fellows root for?

Dallas Cowboys
Chicago Bulls
Denver Broncos
St. Louis Rams
Portland Tail Blazers

Some guys need to realize that "Moo" means "Moo."

The question on everybody's minds

Considering the success of The Lego Movie (anti-capitalist propaganda, to some), what happened last year to the Leggo Yankees?

This date in the Yankee Matrix

After watching his stallions in the pen yesterday, Manager Joe announced that all is looking good in the Yankiverse.

Translation: Continue to consume, procreate and generate bio-electrical energy, Yankee-supporting flesh-machine.

It's Feb. 22, a day when Yankee hopes are always jacked high. Yes, dear friend, let's take a quick step into the Wayback and see some of the Feb. 22-23's of the not-so-distant past. Let's relive the voltage high within the Matrix.

2013:

"I've been stepping it up every day," Jeter said. "Every day is more and more. I've been increasing the workload since I started... You've got to be smart."

2012:

The Yankees' initial impressions of the 23-year-old Pineda have been promising, and it is clear they are banking on the 6-foot-7 hurler establishing a big presence.

"I'm working hard in Spring Training," Pineda said. "I want to help my team to the playoffs and the World Series. This is a very good team." 

2011:

The 6-foot-10 Brackman, now three years removed from Tommy John surgery, still found a way to stand out. His stuff drew buzz as he kept the bats of Curtis Granderson, Brett Gardner, Justin Maxwell and Francisco Cervelli quiet.
"I thought he threw the ball well with command," Girardi said. "I thought his curveball was pretty sharp today, he threw a lot of strikes...Everything just seemed to be really consistent." 

2010:

 

"He puts the barrel of the bat on the ball, and he has the ability to cut down his swing when he needs to do that," Girardi said. "He has a good idea."
Girardi said that he has already seen improvements in Montero's receiving and blocking, and that the top prospect is past the elementary stages in his development. The Yankees continue to project Montero as a Major League catcher.

Arrrrrrgah. OK, enough, ENOUGH, TURN IT OFF!  I cannot, emotionally, go any further back in time. You get the picture, right? Everything is a lie. We are living in a fantasy matrix. The big Girardi machine is generating all our perceptions. Stare too hard into this computer screen, and you might just see yourself staring back. 

Better to submit, dear flesh machines. Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip... No reason to pull at the wires on your forehead... It started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship... Hey, that Brackman guy - six foot ten, did they say? He could be good!

 

Springtime for Hitters? "The Bronx Bombers" has bombed on Broadway

Less than a month after opening, that horrible idea for a Broadway show, "The Bronx Bombers," is getting sent to Scranton. Kiss it goodbye. It won't even make it to Opening Day. The dog has been put down.

If this is an omen about the 2014 Yankees, be afraid. Be very afraid.

But don't be surprised. People asked if I had any interest in going to the show? Dear God, I would have rather seen another version of Disney on Ice. The notion of a play where Yogi Berra - trying to heal a rift between Reggie and Billy - summons the spirits of Mickey, Lou, Babe, et al - sounds like a bad anniversary flashback episode of Cheers.  (And I mean the kind that involves an appearance by Kristie Alley.) You can't tell a story when everybody is a Yankee immortal. You need a little Lenn Sakata, a dash of Horace Clarke. Or A-Rod. He's free. He could have played himself.

Still, I can't help but think that if the Yankees had won the 2013 World Series, or at least played well enough to inspire their fan base, this show might have lasted, say, until the All-Star Break. To salute the Yankee mystique, while the Redsocks are World Champions... that was always going to be one hard sell.

People want Larry Lucchino to be taking "a swipe" against the Yankees, but in fact, he is simply telling it like it is

Cue the organ music. Get the torches. Today, resident Redsock gasbag Larry Lucchino spoke some usual gibberish about the Yankees, and the way some people see it, you'd think it was Ted Nugent talking about the Obama girls.

Obviously, a little back-and-forth between the teams is viewed favorably by the folks at YES, ESPN and NESN.

OK, this is the guy who once called us the Evil Empire. (The Yankees since have trademarked the name.) Let's look at what he said today.

"We're very different animals. I'm proud of that difference. I always cringe when people lump us together. Other baseball teams sometimes do that. They are still, this year at least, relying heavily on their inimitable old-fashioned Yankees style of high-priced, long-term free agents. And, uh, I can't say that I wish them well, but I think that we've taken a different approach."

Hmm. I certainly understand why other teams lump the Redsocks and Yankees together. But he's right about this year: We are relying on the "inimitable old-fashioned Yankees style of high-priced, long-term free agents." I cannot fault him on this.

"If you compare what we did last year in the off-season to what they did this year, there's quite a contrast there. But I'll quickly say we do keep open the prospect of having, signing a long-term deal with a free agent paying a sizable amount of money to attract a star in his prime. We haven't ruled that out. There's just a rebuttable presumption against doing that, but you can rebut it. The circumstances can allow for you to go ahead and do it. The Yankees do it more often, it seems to me that they do it more often as a matter of course. And for us it would be more the exception than the rule."

You know what? He's right. Hate to say it. But it's true. Last year, they signed spare parts. This year, we've tried to bring in an entire new nucleus. But it all boils down to the farm systems. Somehow, over the last three years, their system has worked, and ours hasn't. Until Brian Cashman - or somebody - fixes that, Boston can and SHOULD take potshots at us. Good grief, we deserve it. Ted Nugent has nothing to fear. He's still in a class by himself. 

Will WFAN reinstall the Yankees radio theme... with the lyrics?

In recent years, the Yankee Radio Network, driven by Jeep, on WCBS, failed its listening base by running the opening theme music WITHOUT the brazen, drum-beating Yankee lyrics. In fact, it's been so long since the show began with the rousing sounds of human voices, I had even forgotten what a true Yankee opening theme song should sound like. (Thanks for reminding me, J.E.)


But now, with the Yankee radio broadcasts switching to WFAN, a major question looms...

WILL THE YANKEES RESTORE THE LYRICS TO THE OPENING OF EACH BROADCAST? WILL WE AGAIN HEAR THE VOICES OF A YANKEE MALE CHORUS, HERALDING THE ARRIVAL OF JOHN AND SUZYN?

Remember the way it was?

"You ever watch that TV show Monk?" The last time the President met with the Daiai Lama

Of course, it was a different guy.  My piece in Slate.

It's time to grab ourselves one of them there Cubans

Two Cuban refugees will showcase their skills today in front of the Yankee brain trust in the Tampa Tiki camp. I'm sure teeth, testicles and stool samples will be studied. Regardless of the size or shape of the gourds, I  believe I speak for the Yankiverse in saying the two magic words of this spring:

Sign somebody.

Wait a minute. Let me make it the five magic words.

For God's sake, sign somebody.

The two Cubans are a 23-year-old SS named Aledmyas Diaz and a 26-year-old RH pitcher who calls himself Odrisamer Despaigne.

Obviously, we want the infielder. But you don't get many chances in life to sign somebody named Odrisamer Despaigne. Now that Joba's gone, "Odi" might be the tonic for our bullpen.

The Yankees once led the way in courting Cuban talent, in part because the Luis Tiants and El Duques had grown up - like their U.S. counterparts - dreaming of wearing Pinstripes. Old George once hired Tiant - a Havana legend - to serve as a Yankee contact in Cuba. (BTW, Tiant should be in the Hall of Fame.) But after the debacle of 3B Andy Morales (who was much older than advertised) and the fizzling of Jose Contreras - (who, worse, then did well with other teams) - the Yankees soured on Cuba.

Ever since, we've played a cheapo Cuban strategy, signing secondary, picked-over talent like Ronnier Mustellier and Adonis Garcia. (Musty isn't even in camp this year, and Garcia is getting old and, ridiculously, trying to learn 2B.) Most notably, our scouting system whiffed on Jose Iglesias, who signed with the Redsocks. The Yankees had him pegged as a utility player at best. What a difference he would have made last year. Once again, Boston's management out-performed us.

Reportedly, Hal 9000 has decided to make a huge spending splash in the international market this summer. If it's true, great. But I have to wonder the value of publicizing it so heavily, especially when Cashman's other moves almost always come out of nowhere. He is obsessively secretive in trades. It's incredibly rare to see one of his deals outlined in the press before it happens. That leads me to wonder if the Yankees really intend to break the bank - and pay the huge penalties - or they are just trying to salve an extremely critical fan base by claiming everything is OK, the cavalry is on its way.
 Well, if they're doing it - if it's true that global outreach is the next front for the Yankee wallet - let's do it now. These Cubans will sign this weekend.

For God's sake, get somebody.

Cheer up, Yankiverse: Seattle is even more down on Jesus Montero than we are on Michael Pineda

Check this out: The Mariners thought they were trading for a catcher. Instead, they got a whale. A growing whale.

After each season, players meet with training and medical staff to set up their off-season. Each player is given a target weight they are expected to come in at for the following season. According to sources,  Montero has never once met that target weight since joining the Mariners. This year he came in 40 pounds over the weight the Mariners wanted him to come in at.

Forty pounds. That should be the title of a Springsteen protest song.

The Jesus/Pineda trade remains one of the most complex two-team debacles in baseball history. (Technically speaking, it still might not be a debacle for us.) Thus far, Pineda and Montero have been equally rancid, but it looks like Jesus is pulling ahead in the disappointment department.

The weird part is not knowing whether Montero was ever a real prospect or just a figment of the Yankee/YES crapola factory. If the latter, we must wonder about Gary Sanchez, who has Jesus II inscribed on his forehead.

Seriously, how could Jesus have been so highly regarded, and then turn out to be so bad? Even if he couldn't catch, the expectation was that he could hit. Turns out, all he can do is eat. 

It’s led to frustration within the organization. General manager Jack Zduriencik was particularly critical of Montero and his future. “We are disappointed in how he came in physically,” Zduriencik said bluntly.

“In the end, it’s Jesus’ life,” Zduriencik said. “It’s Jesus who has to make a call on this. We’ll be there to assist any  of these players him included. But he will not given anything. It’s an uphill climb for him. He has the ability to get over the hump and he should. But if he doesn’t, then shame on Jesus.”

Who knows? Maybe Robbie can teach Jesus how to hustle, and he'll lose all that weight.

If the Yankees have a hope for 2014, it is because of this man

It's old news, of course. But this is our new catcher, refusing to allow Milwaukee's Carlos Gomez to touch home plate after showboating on a home run.  See for yourself.

 I think I speak for the Yankiverse in hoping McCann never has to do this during his time in Pinstripes. But of all the signings this winter, I believe he's the one most likely to someday be considered a great Yankee.

We have some gamers on the Yankees. Jeter, obviously. Gardner. Robertson. Kuroda. Sabathia. Ellsbury. Beltran. If he's got anything left, Brian Roberts.

But if we have 25 guys like this, we'll be fine in 2014.

Robothug: Russia unveils a special, advanced breed of law enforcement specialist

If you haven't had a chance to see the Russian "cossacks" break up Pussy Riot's street performance in Sochi, you're missing one of the great moments in cowardice.

A handful of women are singing in a square - you know the deal, making a street scene - so the police, or the militia, or whatever they call themselves, roll in with horse-whips, mace and their steel-toed boots, and beat up the women because - well - I guess because they can.

At one point, you get to see a woman knocked to the pavement and then get kicked around by these arbiters of justice. What heroes. What warriors. What soldiers in the war on public safety. Beating women with whips. They must be so proud!

Over the last couple months, I've tried to give the Russians the benefit of the doubt with the Olympics, what with all the problems they were facing. I figured it was a case of the U.S. news media, safe in NY or LA, covering another country far more critically than it ever covers America. (Another form of cowardice, by the way.) Also, I wondered if Pussy Riot wasn't just an exaggerated media excuse to show pictures of pretty women, while pretending an actual socio-political movement was taking place. (I certainly don't know enough about Russia to make a judgment worth passing on to anyone.)

But watching the thugs beat up those women... that image won't go away for a long time.