It's time for ... A$K A-ROD!

You know, A-Rod's been getting a lot of negative press lately, so much so that people forget just how kind and giving he can be. In fact, on his Web site he'll even answer questions from kids about baseball, life and tax strategies for managing multi-million-dollar investments. Let's check out a recent question:


Dear A-Rod:

Hi Mr. A-Rod. I'm 11 years old and, like, your biggest fan. I think you're great!!!! Anyway, I've always been a good hitter in my baseball league, but I moved up into a new age level this past summer and the big kids threw curve balls, and I couldn't hit them!! I kept striking out!! They moved me to eighth in the batting order!!! Is there anything I can do over the winter to learn so I can hit them next season? Any advice you have would be really cool. Thanks, A-Rod!!!

-- Mikey

A-Rod's Answer: Hi, Mikey. My name is Mr. Boras, and I'm A-Rod's friend. I'm sure that A-Rod has lots of great tips to help you hit curve balls and be the best hitter in your league next year! A-Rod loves helping children reach their fullest potential! But before I can pass you're question along to A-Rod, there's one thing you have to do. Go get your mom or dad, and tell them to go the "A-Rod Store" page of the Web site, and then click on the "Answer a Question" link. They can charge the $25,000 fee to any major credit card. If they think this is too much, I can e-mail them a report I've prepared showing them what an excellent value that would be for them. After all, if you can't hit the curve ball, Mikey, you won't make your high school or college teams and won't have any shot of being drafted by a Major League club. In short, your dreams of a professional career will be done. But, if your mom and dad choose not to take A-Rod's advice - and, in turn, show you that they don't really love you, Mikey - well, that's their choice. I'm sure when you grow up you can get a job as a swing manager at your local Hardee's.

Thanks for writing to A-Rod, Mikey!