Sunday, February 3, 2008

Once Dour Tom Coughlin Now Filling Super Bowl with Mirth


The pride of Waterloo, NY, is coaxing Giant smiles from all. Check out his pre-game schedule:

SATURDAY 6 p.m.: Switch HOT and COLD controls on New England showers.

8 p.m.: Interview with Phil Simms about new back-up kicker, Jack Meough.

10 p.m.: Shortsheet Strahan's bed.

Midnight: Flaming bag of poo on Belichick's patio.

SUNDAY 2 a.m.: Clubbing with Osi, without underware.

5 a.m.: Pour fleas into Jimmy Johnson's rug.

10 a.m.: Order 50 double-anchovy pizzas to Tiki Barber's house.

Noon: Lead panty raid on Fox media center.

1 p.m.: Subscribe Tom Brady to Man-Boy Love Gazette.

3 p.m.: Slow-drying paint on Patriot toilet seats.
5 p.m.: Super glue on game balls.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What's underware?

Anonymous said...

Given that the Yankees and the GIants are both known for the color " blue," this could be 1996 all over again.

How many of you SU students realize that, Tom was Larry Cszonka's running mate at the big Orange?

How many of you know that Tom was out doing the other Tom's Supermodel last night?

Tom also did Jessica at the Fairmont Hotel in Dallas, just before we destroyed the Cowboy culture a few weeks ago.

The reports aren't in yet from Green Bay, but there are rumors of some great-granddaughter of Bart Starr who drives an 18 wheeler out of Green Bay. Was Tom on her radar also?

All Big Blue Units must be up for this game.

Whitey Fraud said...

All Big Blue Units must be up for this game.

Great imagery, Popo,

(ewwwwwwww!)