At first, U.S. forces might think it a mortar attack.
Nope. It'll be the homerun shots from Detroit, courtesy of "Operaton: Iggi Freedom," also known as the "Good Money After Bad" Yankee tradition.
It doesn't matter that young Stephen White has outpitched Igawa at Scranton, or that Iggy's outings have eroded from his near perfect opener, or that he might actually be our best hope for a lefty reliever, or -- hell -- that alien spacecraft are hovering over Phoenix, running chemical analyses on the indestructability of Cindy McCain's face. Nope, doesn't matter.
What matters is that we wring every last thin dime out of a bad contract..
It's the Giambi rule. Somewhere, Adam Smith must have written an economic theory that goes this way:
If you pay $8.99 for the six-pack, even though the beer is flat, you gotta drink it.
Tonight, we chug-a-lug. But, hey, this is why we're carrying 13 pitchers!
Tonight, watch from under a chair.
And remember: Every kiss begins with Kei.