Friday, May 9, 2008

Prayers answered: Boomer pondering return

The spirits of every Yankee fan today have reached the stratosphere.

Our greatest dream might come true.

David Wells... a Yankee again.

Yes, calm down, we know what you're thinking...
Do not print such magnificent hopes, for ye may hex them from becoming real.
Do not raise our hopes to the Everest peak of anticipation, for we may nigh survive the downward crush.

O, but yes, you dare-to-dreamers...
Boomer is hinting that -- for the right price, which would involve a bucket stenciled with the letters KFC -- he might come out of retirement, or rehab, or whatever, to render once again unto the Yankee Universe his essence, his soul, his purple-gouted toes.

That this comes only days after the one-year anniversary of Roger Clemens' address from the centerfield pulpit surely proves that God exists, that He is an ornery God, and that -- considering the events of said year -- you don't wanna fuck around with an ornery God.

Boomer Wells... back? Wow.

Throwing that 95-mile-an-hour heat. Pitching perfect games. Restoring us with his smile. Killing us softly with his song.

David Cone, are you listening?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't forget Jimmy Key.

Anonymous said...

It would all be worth it to see him tryto field the wave of bunts that would be laid down.

Don't laugh, they are already kidding Coney about a comeback.

BernBabyBern said...

Wow, this is TREMENDOUS NEWS!!!


... but why do you have a picture of King Kong Bundy (with a freshly-grown mustache!) on the page?

Anonymous said...

I sat a table away from him at a Mexican restaurant in Naples Fl a couple of years ago. His wife had a tattoo on her shoulder, which is a clear sign of her high breeding and taste.

I think...

Also, he is a very big fellow, hence the name Boomer, I suppose.