A-Quad to Miss Mets Series Unless... WE OPERATE

His lips say yes. But his MRI says no.

So... let's try The Fantastic Voyagemobile.

We shrink a team of buxomy scientists and inject them into A-Rod's body, just like they did in the movie. Except this is real.

Caution: We are now entering the cerebral cortex, where we will be assaulted by A-Rod's innermost demons. We've hit the Id.

In this shadowy world, thoughts and anxieties become real. Hold on, everybody: We are experiencing the memory of A-Rod's post-seasons, exactly as he recalls them.

Uh-oh. We're entering the region of the hippocampus where he has suffered some of his stinging collapses. This won't be easy...

Now, we're the center of the brain where self-awareness exists. Playing beside Jeter, he may have developed a self-image problem.

Fortunately, we navigate to the oblongatta, where we find his subconsicous celebrating the joy of a home run.

Ah. At last, we finally make the troubled quad. OMG, it needs work.

No way can we clean this up by the Mets series. It might be July.