Friday, August 15, 2008

Essay Question

Posted by el duque at 10:34 AM

If the Royals beat us tonight at home, say, with a lopsided score...

In 30 words or less, describe the fan reaction:

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

"All the creatures watched, the children of light, the children of dark, the kingly and the diseased, those who were malformed in the womb and those whose every breath bore the taste of bile. The stars shone up above, blanketing a human desert where young men flailed for gold, while the rest poured gasoline into the gutters and cried out to God for one lit match."

August 15, 2008 at 10:43 AM
Anonymous said...

A strange noise began in the private swuites.

At first, the sound appearded as an incoherent cluttering, as if 100chickens and dalmation puppies had been crammed into a large cardboad box together.

Then, this eerie sound poured out and over into the loge sections, finally reaching the bleacher creatures in the home half of
the 4th inning.

" burn them in oil...burn them in oil..." the cresendo grew.

People help up photos on a stick, of Cashman, Girardi, Gumby, A-Rod, Melky, Cano and I-Rod.

Photos of Hughes and Kennedy showed brown curls at the edges, then burst into flame.

Only Kyle Farnsworth escaped.

After the game, Captain Derek said , we've got to put better swings on the ball and start winning some game. Time is getting short for us."

August 15, 2008 at 11:09 AM
BJ said...

Jesus Wept.

August 15, 2008 at 11:55 AM
Anonymous said...

I tend to think of the helicopter scene from 'Apocalypse Now'.

A 13-2 loss to the Royals would be worse than humiliating.

It would be John Edwards territory.

The Shamus

August 15, 2008 at 12:00 PM
Anonymous said...

I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incinerate me.

August 15, 2008 at 2:46 PM
Anonymous said...

A loud beeping noise, construction vehicles backing in, George riding and saying, "I've had enough!" Explosion! Teams dead, George dead, six remaining fans dead, Stadium dead. Torre laughing. Till 2009...

August 15, 2008 at 3:55 PM
Anonymous said...

"Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light ...

August 15, 2008 at 4:02 PM
BernBabyBern said...

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHYYYYEYEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

August 16, 2008 at 12:13 AM

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