Fay Demoted, Making Her the Melky Cabrera of Tropical Storms

A few of you may be thinking: 'This is wrong, because a tropical storm like Fay, which did so much damage, should not be compared to a certain Yankee centerfielder, now in Scranton.'

No doubt, a few others are saying, 'Dammit, why so tough on Melky?"

Sometimes, metaphorical truth hurts.

The scouts predicted Fay would grow into a solid, five-tool hurricane. Out in the Atlantic, she showed potential power, speed, strength, size and an ability to hit for average. She could throw people out, damage opposing orders, and maybe become an all-time great. When she whiffed and didn't make Cat-1 status, the sportwriters said, "Hah! Just another overhyped NASA prospect! She can't hit! Send her to Tampa! She'll never be a major league storm!"

Well, dammit, nobody told Fay. The plucky low pressure center took her shot at center field, forcing the Weather Service to move Johnny Damon into left. OK, maybe she wasn't the Perfect Storm that hurricane fans wanted, but a Katrina only comes once in a generation. In her rookie debut, Fay played hard, with or without hurricane status. She cut a swath across Florida, got her uniform dirty, then returned to wreak havoc. You think she couldn't hit? The governor of Florida named her to his 2008 all-star storm team. She proved the "experts" wrong.

Then, suddenly, Fay couldn't buy a basehit, and her fielding suffered. It doesn't look as if she'll ever make it as a hurricane.

If this were a movie, like Rocky or Karate Kid, Fay would go out into the Gulf. There, she would meet an old, loveable, has-been hurricane, who would teach her the ancient ways of ripping the roofs off hotels. She would drink eggs, train hard to Frank Stallone music, get the "Eye of the Tiger," become a full Cat-5, go back to Florida with "the Force" being with her, and bat .400 for the rest of the season.

She'd pound Tampa Bay pitching, then lead the Yanks up the AL East, obliterating Balitmore and Toronto, and then curving over to Boston. She'd would hit 150 on the radar gun, drive in 100 runs, and nobody would ever call her a Tropical Depression again or complain that the Redsocks have a better young hurricane in Jacoby Ellsbury.

The Yanks need Fay back in September. Let's just hope this time in Scranton helps restore her batting eye.