I Love the Smell of Cordite After a Yankee Win !

I'm feeling a little dis-oriented this morning, after a long day in the bars and a longer night at George M. Steinbrenner's Hip-Hop, Heavy Metal, Ear-Blasting, Accoustic Bombardment
and " between the pitches" advertising extravaganza..........ponzied to many as a Yankee spring training game.

There were dazzling post-game fireworks for those of us who remained for every out of the baseball game ( mostly, me, Michael, She-Fan, and my buddy from grade school). Of course, even the bombs bursting in air were difficult to hear, given the military music blasting from the stadium DJ's office at 2000 decibels in synch with the fireworks.

But there was nothing the stadium people could yet do to block out the night sky and keep us from at least seeing the displays. By next year, they will figure out how to laser a Ford SUV ad into the sky, so our time is limited.

As for the game, I know from secret telecommunications that She-Fan and her husband Michael spent the first three innings in the Legends field pinstripe club, watching the game on tv, and quaffing down cheap chardonnay. Cheap in quality, not in price.

My cell phone crumbled under the roar of stadium advertisements from Whitey Ford, urging us to sell gold at house parties, and I lost touch with this loyal fan couple. For those of you who read, She-Fan is not a bandwagon Yankee lover.

I am hoping that She-fan and Michael will be at this afternoon's game against the boring Atlanta Braves, but they may have fled back to Santa Barbara. I know it is tough, but someone has to live in that foresaken paradise.

As to my game-night observations:

1. CC was efficient and cool despite the bungling defense of "spin around " Shelly Duncan ( totally lost a "can of corn" fly to right which, due to the wind ( what wind? ) bounced to his left and cork-screwed back over his head into the stands for a ground rule double). Sorry folks, it was a blatant error. I could have caught that sucker in my pork-pie hat.

The really bad news, but not new news, is that Shelly cannot hit. Except for an occasional fastball, which no one ever, ever, throws to him in the strike zone. He K'd twice; once swinging, once looking.

2. The competition for CF has to be leaning toward Brett Gardner. Melky, of course, is playing in Tokyo or someplace, but Brett was good at all levels...he made the catch of the season in CF that Melky would still be chasing. And Brett hit well again. He is my man. Always has been.

3. And our " best named " Yankee ( Cody Ransom ) once again showed his defensive ability....earning a standing "O" for back-handing a rocket over the bag, and thowing the runner out. Also, he smoked a key double early to RF.

I loved this guy's "D" last year ( I am biased toward 3rd basemen for reasons I shall not share ), but El Duque pointed out he is already about 32 or 33 so he is not a "prospect." But he can pick it and he does have a cool name.

4. Some dude named Pena played SS. Played excellent "D" and hit well...looks like he can run, too. "Who the hell is this guy?" He was not on any paperwork handed out ( i.e. sold ) by the Yankees.

5. I'm not commenting, by the way, on the real Yankee players ( Jorge, Molina, Swisher, etc ) because we know what they can do.

6. Action Jackson got two at bats. He did battle, but mostly grounded out twice ( though he reached once on an error). He did steal second, and looks like he can ( as She-Fan would say )
" motor."

But, he is not yet showing me any signs of moving to another level....at least not "up."

7. And JESUS made an appearance. A revelation if ever there was one.

He did bang out a double, though I was a bit pained watching him round first and hit the gas pedal for second, reminding me of a fully loaded 18 wheeler downshifting to get up Mount Hood. Luckily, the ball was bouncing around the wall about 400 feet to the southwest, so he arrived safely.

The highlights for this revered prospect were : he overthrew the pitcher into CF during warm-ups, and he followed that up with a bullet into LF, over Cody's head , after a catching a third strike with no one on.

8. The Yankees have several guys wearing triple digits. There names are: Colin, Juan, John, Kevin, Eduardo, Kyle, Steve, Eric, Wilkin, and Anthony. I'm still looking for the next, " break-out" Yankee star from this bunch. They were not even ID'd on the program.

9. Which brings me to the most impressive guy of all; David Robertson. The hard-core fans will remember him from a pretty decent "cup or two of coffee" with the Big Club last year. The guy will be 23 on opening day. He pitched the ninth, stuck out everybody, and was dominating. I mean dominating. Fast balls and breaking stuff. Impressive !!

OK, by the 9th, we are playing guys from "A" ball. But David Robertson is one to watch.

10. As usual, the logistics of the stadium were minor league....the PA system only announced pitching changes. Never ( except during at bats ) did they tell you the name of the new centerfielder, etc. And guess why everyone comes to these imitation games !!!????

The advertising on the PA systems is a disgrace and should be against the laws of man and woman. JESUS, please do something. Show us your powers.

Because of the acoustical nightmare provided by these Yankee artists in the sound room, you can't hear the balls smacking into gloves; you can't hear the cracks of the bat; you can't talk baseball in your seats, you can't talk to She-Fan on your cell, you can't yell-out to the beer guy.

It seems that the preferred sounds of the recently re-named George M. Steinbrenner ball park are ads for plastic teeth, used BMW's and canned Cuban tortillas. It's as if the idiot who decided people won't eat in restaurants without music so loud you cannot speak or hear your dinner companions has moved to George M. Steinbrenner Stadium to annoy all comers, and distract them from America's pastime.

Who likes this crap???!!!!

11. That's about it for now. No sightings of Ian or Phil or the great Andrew Brackman. Maybe today. I've got to cover a day game, following a night game, so I am dragging.

Hope to eat steak tonight with Leroy Selman.