TEHRAN!
HONDURAS!
YANKEE STADIUM!
HIT THE STREETS!
KILL THE PIGS!
TEAR DOWN THE BRIDGES!
DESTROY ALL AUTHORITY!
THIS.
MUST.
NOT.
STAND.
COMRADES! The blueshirted brownshirts of MLB have gone too far! Monday, the oppressive jackals wrongfully called Derek Jeter out at third base, then claimed he did not need to be tagged.
It happened when the poor man sought to steal an honest base. The butchers purged him from the basepaths, then brazenly orchestrated the biggest bastardization of truth since the Warren Report.
Say reports on Twitter:
"He didn't tag me," Jeter told Foster.
"He didn't have to," Foster said, according to Jeter. "The ball beat you."
Comrades! It's time for a Yankiverse TeaBag Day of Protest.
We must organize. We must riot. TeaBags -- rebel slang for "thirdbase" -- will symbolize our anger, our disgust, our revulsion with the totalitarian state of baseball, a Third-World sport that lets umpires make their own rules.
This is an outrage! Incite your neighbors! Take the radio station! Horde two-by-fours and tools. We need to knock in some skulls, so they'll see we mean business!
Alphonso, you take the Southwest! Shamus, you're in charge of Maine. Whitey, as of now, you are the Rightful Governor of Florida.
People, tear it down. Death to the system.
HEAR US, ALLAN HUBER "BUD" SELIG:
RESTORE JETER TO THIRD BASE, OR YOU SHALL NEVER NO ANOTHER NIGHT OF PEACE!
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6 comments:
This whole game needs to be replayed imo. or just give the yanks the win. Jeter also needs his SB stats correctly padded AND it is likely that caught stealing is the only reason he didn't end up extending his hit streak. Probably Pettite wouldn't have given up that homerun either. and they might have hopefully never brought out bruney.
watch them miss the wild card by 1 game.
Same thing happened to Teixeira on Sunday. He was tagged out at the plate, but the catcher took the ball out of his glove before he tagged Tex. The catcher was clearly holding it in the air when he tagged Tex with an empty glove.
Activist umpires are ruining America.
The umpires must pay. Derek Jeter is never wrong. Ever. Well, except when he palled around with Kenny Lofton.
This is what happens when baseball appoints umpires who believe it is their job to "interpret" the rulebook. Anarchy.
We must put pressure on Selig to hire only strict constructionist umpires.
Selig missed the incident because he was flying back from watching the Wimbleton Finals.
He ate strawberies with creme freche on the plane.
He doesn't pay attention to baseball, except when it is payday.
I want Alaska and the Southwest.
Palin has gone fishing, too.
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