The second half will be our TV movie.

How do you top Joe Torre's best-selling books?

With Bad News Yankees: The warm-hearted tale of a hapless bunch of aging misfits who can't beat the elite teams, until they bring in a nearly bikini-ready Tatum O'Neal Halladay.

We have the cast:

The mysterious Asian DH with the ancient powers of concentration.

The former reliever, Joba, for whom batters go, BANG... ZOOOM.

Brett Gardner, always ready to crash into a wall.

Nick Swisher, who provides comedy relief.

Arod, the superstar with inner demons...

Quirky newcomer AJ Burnett.

Tex!

Our tough-as-nails Captain.

Cash, the ambitious GM....

Deep-thinking Skpper Joe.

And of course "The Voice of the Yankees, driven by Jeep!