Many of you out there have your own schemes, your at-bat chair and your in-the-field seat -- your sequence of tilting the hat, jumping your spouse, hiding snack foods, shaking your bean stick totems.
We call upon the Yankiverse to stop at nothing Wednesday night.
Alphonso: YOU MUST BE MORE NEGATIVE THAN EVER BEFORE. If you thought you could bring disillusionment and sorrow, well, Sunny Jim, it's time to kick it up a notch. After you write, we gotta be like that lady with the wind-up doll on the commerical (who has three kids; yeesh, are they going to be screwed when she kills herself!)
Fraud: YOU MUST ATTACK ME AS NEVER BEFORE. (That's what you do, right? You attack me to win ballgames. Right?)
Bernie: GET OUT THE ICONS. GET THOSE KIDS OF YOURS INTO THE RIGHT LUCKY SHIRTS.
SuperFrankenstein: ONE WORD: BLINGY.
Ike: RHYME "MARIANO RIVERA."
Wailin', Ghost, Mons, I'm, Kei, Anonymous, all of you... BRING THE LOAD, TOADLICKERS, CUE THE JUJU! KILL A CELEBRITY. BREAK ELI MANNING'S HANDS. GET THE POPE LAID. WHATEVER IT TAKES. HOLD NOTHING BACK!
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2 comments:
I have only one thing to say.
Kill a celebrity, now.
That is it.
I wrote a poem
Twenty-Six
By dadlak
For sure the Yanks have won a lot
So many times fed from the trough
Of victory, but their fans know
That twenty-six is not enough.
Like Reggie with his classic cars
Or Bill O’Reilly belching guff
The world may not quite sympathize
But twenty-six is not enough.
Trump’s hairpieces, Saddam’s manses
LeBron’s palace full of stuff
Some might say it’s all excessive
But twenty-six is not enough.
So when you go to bed tonight
And pray for God to end the suf-
Ferring of those in pain, please add
Christ! Twenty-six is not enough.
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