Yankeetorial: Is time to ask whether the miserly, cheapskate Yankee brass want new boats or a repeat World Series

Last week, while the Redsocks lavished $100 million on the two best and worst free agents in the class of 2009, the Yankees stood in the line at the town of Harrison Walmart, fishing through their fanny pack for the 10-cents off coupon on Pop-Tarts.

And nobody in the New York media called them out.

This is what our sportswriters collectively say:

"Why, they spend sooooo much money! Mercy, it's terrible! They've got to stop! Of course, it's their business, not ours! And everybody agrees they should cut payroll. Why, it's horrible how much they spend -- on dirty, smelly players! If they can just whittle down that payroll, they can compete better!"

WTF is wrong with these media morons? Do they swallow the same lines from their newspaper ownership when it cuts staff in half? (Actually, they do, but that's another story.) Yeesh, we are the Yankees. Since when are we poor? Since when do we care what other teams say? No matter what we do, the rest of baseball will hate us. Spend the money.

Cut payroll? Has anybody looked lately at our front office batting order? Bernie Madoff couldn't have built a better roster. There is George, there is Hank, there is Hal, there is Jennifer, there is Jessica, there is Joan, there is Felix... yeesh, and we're not even getting to the Sticks, the Stumps, the Tinos, the Reggies -- we've got more do-nothings than the Department of the Interior. Hello-o-o? Anybody for cutting payroll up there?

And look at what is going off the books? Hideki's gone. Wang is gone. (And by the way, we should have stood by him and paid him for what he gave us, not screw him the second time.) Nady's gone. Molina. Yeesh.. that's enough for a major free agent -- and still cut payroll.

Hello-o-o? Yankiverse? LET'S START YELLING ABOUT THIS MISERY SCROOGE SHIT. THEY ARE CHARGING $1,000 FOR SEATS -- AND THEY'RE GOING TO CUT PAYROLL AND NOBODY'S GOING TO SAY A WORD? THIS IS RIDICULOUS! LOHUD! RIVER AVE! START YELLING. DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS. IT'S WORSE THAN THE TARP FUND.

One final note -- AND DAMMIT, YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT -- wanna know why we suck every now and then? It's because we get penny-wise and pound foolish. We pass on a great player -- Vladimir Guerrero, for example -- then spend twice as much on middling replacements. (Mondessi, Sheffield, Sierra, Abreu...) Last year, we spent on quality, while Boston stood in the line at Walmart, rifling through its fanny pack for coupons. We won. They lost. SPEND SOME COIN, YANKEES. YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER LAKE HOUSE! YOU NEED ANOTHER PITCHER.