Kevin Baker's book is here!

Kevin Baker's book is here!
"... an exemplary sports book..." Kirkus Reviews

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Where Has The Weiner Gone?

One of these New York Weiners is missing.


It has left the pod for condiment rehabilitation.

It will spend a few days in solitary, without ketchup, mustard, relish, onions or chili.

If it makes it through " clean" ( as we say in rehab ), it can progress to a multi-weiner discussion group.

These groups are led by previous Weiners who have been improperly exposed in society, but which are now fully encased and largely inactive.

If re-hab is successful, these weiner "graduates," even when tempted again by real world condiments, will remain straight and true.

No weiner, once deemed free of tempting condiments, will again reflect badly in society's mirror.

The name and the location of the Weiner weiner rehab facility are, for obvious reasons, held confidential. So don't go making any rash trips out to Nathans on Coney Island, or up
to " Swanky Franks " in Norwalk or Newtown.

And the "ripper" facility in Clifton, New Jersey is not where the missing weiner now resides.

Some say; " a weiner is a weiner is a weiner." Or, "once a weiner, always a weiner."

These sayings represent cheap dramatics and are usually unfounded.

But it is true that, " a good weiner is hard to find."

Don't try to find this one. Soon enough, it will re-appear.

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