FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Posted by el duque at 8:22 AM
Yesterday, the leather-tanned Yankee fans of Veira took time out from cooking meth and licking eyeballs to heartily boo Alex Rodriguez's every move, like critics at a Pauly Shore comeback. They booed A-Rod when he advanced to the plate, booed him when he swung, and they cheered like Floridians when he was plunked on his surgically repaired hip.
Listen: They did the Yankiverse a favor. They previewed the soundtrack for the next three months. Because every time A-Rod comes to the plate in a foreign city, such as Cleveland, we will hear jeers so sound and unrelenting that it will sound as if Satan himself just stepped into view. It will begin as Robbie Cano finishes his at-bat (I assume A-Rod will bat fourth) and continue well into the next batter's approach.
Keep in mind: They will cheer Derek Jeter, and in pre-game ceremonies give a big check to Mariano Rivera's charity. When A-Rod comes up, they will turn on the broiler. Get used to it, everybody.
I've defended A-Rod on this blog, not because I like him, but because of Eugene V. Debs, who said, "While there is a soul in prison, I am not free." Frankly, A-Rod never gets a fair shake among the Gammonites, the magpies. If another base-runner chops down on Bronson Arroyo's arm and knocks the ball loose, he's a gritty player. If A-Rod does it, he's a thug. If another player yells "Ha," causing the Blue Jays to let a pop fly fall, the guy is hailed as a winner. When A-Rod does it, he's bush league.
We face two two scenarios in the second half of the Yankee season:
1. A-Rod fails. Maybe he never makes it out of places like Viera or - worse - comes to the Bronx and can't hit better than Reid Brignac. If this happens, the fans will boo so relentlessly that some actually will start feeling sorry for the guy. I personally don't think it's right to boo a guy for getting old. But A-Rod is the exception to every rule. If A-Rod fails, he will be booed out of the game.
2. A-Rod comes back. Here, everything gets volatile. Spurred on by the boos, the Gammonites will rake A-Rod with every condemnation they can muster. Many will turn to Vladimir Putin - I'm sorry, I meant Bud Selig.That could end A-Rod's season - along with the Yankees. That it's arbitrary - nobody has failed the MLB drug tests, which Selig so proudly touted for effectiveness - won't matter. Selig could declaw the Yankees and effectively destroy the pennant race in New York.
Clearly, the people of Veira would prefer Scenario Number One. They must be Yankee fans.