Saturday, September 7, 2019

In this millennium, is the Curse of the Bambino on us?

In April of 2008, the Yankees made a public splash by jack-hammering deep into their new stadium's still-curing concrete foundation to remove what they knew to be a dangerous curse upon their team: A David Ortiz jersey had been surgically buried into the floor by a "laborer," who was, in fact, an undercover hatchet man of the juju sciences. 

Today, we might wonder what else was set into the cement bowels of the Yankees' massive mausoleum monument to old money?

Are the Yankees cursed? Is this all an elaborate joke being played out on the cosmological stage, by grumbling, cheap-suited deities with axes to grind? 

If this weekend, the Death Star loses all four games - summoning Boston up from its grave and reanimating a corpse that had festered for weeks - it will be the Def-Com 5 of Juju. It will be time for pitchforks and torches, time to march upon the monolithic tomb that we once called "the House that Ruth built," time to disassemble this glued-together shit pile of cursed obelisks and start over, maybe across the street, where the vibes may still ring with hope.  

Could this entire 2019 season - the year of comebacks and improbable heroes - turn out to be a flaming paper bag filled with dog poop, left on our front stoop for us to stomp out? 

If Boston goes on a tear, takes the Wild Card and then runs the table - (dear God, we'd end up rooting for Houston) - this would become the worst October since 2004 - no, I take it back - the worst in our fan lives, a collapse as breathtaking as anything we've known, all while watching our arch-enemy lope past us to the finish line.

If we can imagine something, it can happen.

If Boston sweeps, they will have beaten us in 7 of the last 8 games. 

Last night, they sent the Light Brigade - seven of the 21 pitchers on their ridiculously bloated staff. (Next year, MLB will not allow such hording of arms.) Meanwhile, Domingo Jean German once again came up short as "ace" of our staff. Yes, German is a fine young pitcher. He's simply not a No. 1 starter. Last night - though squeezed by the home plate ump - he gave up four runs with two outs, letting a game slip away, with waves of despair rising from my TV like the tidal surge on the Outer Banks.

Could Boston do it? Yeah. They could. 

But everything hinges on this weekend. If they sweep the Yankees, they will feast upon a month of tomato cans. They play:

Three in Toronto, which is no longer the vibrant young team that played us. They have lost five straight. A chance for a sweep.

Two in Philadelphia, which has fallen out of the NL Wild Card race. Another sweep.

Three at home against the long-dead Giants. A sure sweep.

Four in Tampa. Season on the line. I wonder if anybody ever thought to bury an Ortiz jersey in Tropicana Field?

Three in Texas against the Rangers. Sweep.

Three at home against - gulp - Baltimore. Need I say it? 

Fourteen tomato cans in 18 games. 

Which leaves us with one question, perhaps to be answered this weekend:

After all is said and done, will the 2019 Yankees turn out to be the ultimate tomato can?

7 comments:

Carl J. Weitz said...

Not to worry....Last year, I stuffed a Don Mattingly jersey down a hole behind an electrical box in the wall of a supply closet in a men's room in Fenway with a note saturated in chicken blood and entrails that reads "Release juju in September of 2019". We are covered.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The Bucky Dent Brick is still there. I verified last night before the debacle.
Strong showing of Yankee fans -- we were surrounded by interlocking NY's. Now the team needs to get with the program.

Even the bars before and after were packed with Yankee fans. Their fans have given up on them.

Anonymous said...

The Sox have 21 games remaining.

The have won 76 so far. If they win two out of every three...

(And remember they are not as good as we think they are. There's a reason that they brought up 246 pitchers to go the rest of the way.

The Yankees, kings of the 20+ pitch inning wear down starters, this doesn't work against openers and 246 man bullpens. Other teams will pound them like the AA and AAA dregs that they are.)

They will win 90.

Oakland has won 82 so far. So they would need 9 wins to beat that. 9 out their next 21. Oh and this weekend they've got the Tigers. Their current winning pct is .582. They are a good team, as we are painfully aware. So that ain't happening. Even if they .500 ball they make the Wild Card.

Tampa has won 84. So they would need to win 7 out of their next 19. Two games better than losing 2 out of every three. They are playing .587 ball. So that ain't happening either.

If (a person) wants to say that Boston wins 3 out of every four the rest of the way. They finish with 91 or 92.

So Tampa would have to win nine or ten instead of seven. (out of 19) basically .500 ball.

And Oakland would have to win eleven of their next twenty one (also .500 ball)

Ain't Happening. (Plus we will win at least one of the remaining three against Boston this weekend. making the math even worse for them.)

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

And, as long as I'm sounding self assured today for no real reason. The Gamonites keep talking about how the Yankees are going to solve the playoff roster issue.

It seems clear.

Voit has not recovered from his injury. He sits. So DJ is the 1B. Urshala 3B, Didi SS Gleybar 2B EE is the DH.

Tauchman (As Hoss points out) is reverting to the mean. So if Hicks returns it's Gardy to Left. If Stanton returns (will he though?) It's Gardy to center.

Either way. Tauchman and Voit should be on the outside looking in

And lastly...

While we are waiting for the game later this afternoon I suggest we get a hold of the screwball comedy (from an earlier post)

"Fritzcaraldo - The Burden of Schemes"

Fritz Peterson tries to get the former Mrs. Kekich to go with him to the mountains for the weekend. Hilarity ensues. This is a remake of "Bride of the Yankees" about the odd relationship between Mrs. Gehrig and Babe Ruth.

Doug K.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Doug K,

Fitzcaraldo. Wow. You didn't by any chance sample the brown acid at Woodstock did you? If you did, do you know how to limit the flashback?

Asking for a friend.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Doug K., I love it!!

These days, you actually COULD do a screwball, cable comedy about ballplayers who swap wives, then try to keep it secret from their teammates and the writers. Hilarity ensues!

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