Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Mr. Steinbrenner, take a hard glimpse into your future

 

Not many bodies out there yesterday. The announced crowd was 41,096 - yep - and I'm the Easter Bunny.

Of course, your Yankees can spin this photo. After all, this was a makeup game. It was supposed to be played Saturday. It was supposed to feature an Aaron Judge Bobblehead. It was supposed to be a team that would play in the postseason.

You can make this look less dire. It was a rainy day. Covid is surging. The writers' strike was over. Taylor Swift has a boyfriend. Who goes to a game when Tay is hooking-up? 

Mr. Steinbrenner, this is your day, your crowd, your legacy. 

You sold ad space on the Yankee jersey. 

You squandered career years, back to back, by Aaron Judge and Gerrit Cole. 

Your team couldn't stay in contention through the final homestand.

Your farm system is sputtering, and you're so paralyzed by bad contracts - bad decisions - that you'll hire a firm to do a "winter audit" of the Yankees. 

WTF? A "winter audit?" Are you kidding? You think somebody's stealing nickel bottle deposits? Will you cut laundry costs? Paper clips? 

Here's an audit: You came in fucking fourth in the AL East. You might finish above .500. To sell tickets in September, you rushed your best prospect to the majors, and now he's hurt. 

Take a long hard look at this photo. You think you're invulnerable, that the Yankee brand can never crumble, that you can sit down in Tampa, owning a piece of New York City that can never be diminished. 

Well, this is your doing. This is how it ended. This is your 2023 Yankees.

47 comments:

BTR999 said...

Spot on Duque!

Let’s await and see what actions are coming. Let’s see if he has the guts to assert himself and make the necessary changes. I fully expect Cashman and Boone and the F/O follicles to be back, along with the bulk of the aging, slowing players.

If the food’s rotten, why rehire the chefs. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

AboveAverage said...

Everything is awesome

Everything is cool when you're part of a team

Everything is awesome

When you're living out a dream

Mildred Lopez said...


AA - took my daughter to see that movie at the local Bijou when it first came out. It was creative, have to give them that. Annoying as hell though.

Opening Day 2024:

DJL
Judge
Rizzo
Big G(ust)
Torres
Bauers/McKinney
Volpe
Trevino/Higashioka
Cabrera

Rufus T. Firefly said...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly, chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow

So always look on the bright side of death

Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit (Oooh)
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's the joke, it's true (Oooh)
You'll see it's all a show (Oooh)
Keep 'em laughin' as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you (Oooh)

Always look on the bright side of life

Always look on the right side of life


Fuck you, HAL. Do the right thing. Fire Ca$hole.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Yesterday, Big Head was opining on how Red Barber was fired for insisting that they show the empty stands.

Duque, good thing you're not on the Yankee payroll. Then again, you would have been fired a long time ago.

Celerino Sanchez said...

This is the 80's all over again. No plan, no strategy just spend $$$ and trade prospects for aging stars when the natives get restless. The only difference is the old man did want to win.

AboveAverage said...

TUESDAY PYTHON SONG OFF:

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dark
And you won't come back

TheWinWarblist said...

Fuck Hal.

TheWinWarblist said...

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode off to Camelot! AA, I can do that entire song from memory.

AboveAverage said...

I’m reminded how many “you knows” Boone uses per minute when he’s on camera during the pre and post game pressers.

He averages 2-3 every ten seconds or 12-15 per minute.

That alone, you know, should be grounds for a swift dismissal.

JM said...

You know, that's one of those tics that, you know, people use to stall, because, you know, they don't know what to, you know, say.

Though with Boone, who knows. He says the same thing over and over and over, and he's usually wrong or lying or being an idiot.

ranger_lp said...

"He ran away, he chickened out..."

@AA...I disagree...you will not find a better Yankees Press Secretary than...you know...Aaron Boone...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.
I sleep all night and work all day...

TheWinWarblist said...

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raisin' of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away,
'alf a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am!"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9SqQNgDrgg


Socrates himself will be particularly missed, and Fuck Hal

edb said...

Yankees BS, served hot on a plate and Clueless Hal buys it. Bring back Genius Cashman for more stiffs like Jake Bauers.

Scottish Yankee fan said...


Hal will only be interested in the 40,000 tickets that were sold for yesterday's game he does not care no bugger turned up

He also said he does not understand why the Yankees fans were upset at the trade deadline

A bigger bum than two arses

AboveAverage said...

one last time:

There are Jews in the world - there are Buddhists
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them

I'm a Roman Catholic
And have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm

You don't have to be a six-footer
You don't have to have a great brain
You don't have to have any clothes on you're
A Catholic the moment Dad came

Because every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found

Every sperm is wanted
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God get quite irate

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Every sperm is useful
Every sperm is fine
God needs everybody's
Mine and mine and mine

Let the pagan spill theirs
Over mountain, hill, and plain
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

The Hammer of God said...

That is a great pic, Duque. But I have to agree with Scottish Yankee fan that HAL won't give a flying rat's ass about anything except the 40,000 tickets sold. Especially the expensive corporate booths and the highest priced seats. As long as those sold, HAL won't care if some of the cheap seats didn't sell.

But is the pic a window into the future? Will all of the seats really be barren next year? I don't know. There is a very large contingent of clueless Yankee fans out there who think that Cashman has done an excellent job during his tenure. Those might continue to fill the seats for some time yet.

And of course the idea of HAL bringing in an outside firm to do an "audit". I am laughing my ass off. This is what rich corporate asses do. They pay money to an outside company to come in and look under the rugs, re-arrange the furniture, tell them how to clean the toilet. How much money is that going to cost? Probably somewhere around $25 million. I think HAL made too much money this year and needs to burn off some of the fat. He's already starting to prepare for tax season.

DickAllen said...

I just finished reading all your comments.

Have you all been drinking this morning?

AboveAverage said...

Hydration is very, VERY important

DickAllen said...

Rest peace, Ilya Kuryakin.

AboveAverage said...

I enjoyed his appearance in the outer limits:

http://watershade.net/films/Outer-Limits-1-05-Sixth-Finger.html

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Dick,

We drink every morning. And evening.

DickAllen said...

Brooks. Another great leaves us.

TheWinWarblist said...

Brooks Robinson. Kind of a great player there.

13bit said...

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

~ Johnny Donne (MVP of the AA Peoria Poets in 1931)

AboveAverage said...

Sit on My Face (Monty Python)

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too
I love to hear you oralize
When I'm between your thighs
You blow me away
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
And play, 'til we're blown away

TheWinWarblist said...

No hit through 3. How many games can you win putting zero pressure on your opponent for a third of a game?

TheWinWarblist said...

No hit through 5. Unwavering passivity. Hit strikes hardly.

BernBabyBern said...

Hey, a base hit.

The Yankees must have set some sort of record this year for going at least 5 innings without a hit. It seemed like someone took a no-hitter into the sixth against us every couple weeks.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Florial gets the hit?

The veterans should be embarrassed. Throw two curveb-alls and a slider and Florial strikes out.

Sadly, the Master is not on radio.

I fear (yes, once again) that we have heard the last of him calling the games.

On a sittin' shiva note. Did the Tigers intentionally introduce a Greenberg as GM on Yom Kippur? I mean, the guy with the same last name as Hank?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Glass man also doesn't know how to slide.

Shocked, I tell you! I'm shocked!

Doug K. said...

Rufus,

I turn the game on. 0-0 seventh inning. Yankees have 2nd and 3rd one out. but the guy on 3rd is Stanton. I say out loud... pinch run for Stanton because he can't score from third on a fly ball or a slow grounder.

Boone doesn't make the change. Ground ball. Stanton out at the plate. When people ask me why I think Boone sucks as a manager one only has to look at what I just wrote.

AboveAverage said...

Smart Man this Doug. Spot on analysis. If CantRun slid into home plate his entire skeletal system would be rendered into dust.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The yankers don't even know how to tank.

ranger_lp said...

Yankees win…

ranger_lp said...

Finally found out…

Austin Wells: All’s well that ends well!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

OK,

Hoss for GM,

Doug for Second GM.

Let them fight out the details. But whatever happens will be an improvement.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Ranger,

So Wells is all in on the happy ending?

Doris will call him.

ranger_lp said...

Ha…

AboveAverage said...

Hey Rufus - what can I do?

AboveAverage said...

Show me some love now

Kevin said...

What a great thread! I've GOT to make it up there for the Game next year!

HoraceClarke66 said...

I would be a terrific GM, in that I would hire Doug and the rest of you guys, and sit back and let you do it all. Which is all Cashman ever had to do but no, he had to constantly claim that he was the genius.

What a putz.

edb said...

If the BS continues.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

AA,

Obsviously, unwaveringly, you will be the PR flack, whilst conveying actual thruethy facts. You know, how things actually are, unlike how the current bloviators.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Whilst unwaveringly ruminating I was thinking that perhaps the word perhaps ought to be used more often whilst ruminating unwaveringly on this site.

If that sounds like it was barfed out of the PR wing of the department of redundancy department, remember that I collected a check from the federal gub-mint for several years. It's not just a career, it's a job.