Friday, on the matter of why the Yankees cannot spend as heavily as the Dodgers, Mets and Phillies, the famed singer-songwriter B Cashman gushed spontaneous poetry.
The following are his lyrical words, verbatim.
He said...
To Peel That Onion
By B. Cashman
Ultimately, there's
Ultimately, there's
A lot of different ways
to climb the mountain.
A lot of different ways
to peel that onion.
And the only thing,
in the end, that matters
is winning in October.
How utterly true. How deliciously wondrous. How luminously grand. Later, in the same session, he spake this:
Lying Agents
By B. Cashman
In some cases,
they tell you they have this.
they tell you they have this.
In other cases,
it’s blind bidding.
it’s blind bidding.
In some cases,
they say they’ve got something
they say they’ve got something
that they don’t
and you don’t find out
until later.
You just have to choose to navigate
what you’re comfortable with.
Sometimes
you don’t win
the day.
the day.
And finally, this gem.
Hats Off
By B. Cashman
Ultimately, the Dodgers
have raised the bar.
They’re the defending
world champions.
They’re doing a lot of things
really good.
Looks like a magical year in store.
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26 comments:
For some reason, when I saw "B. Cashman" I thought of "Bea Arthur." One of the "Killer Beas," as I recall.
Everything is going to be great this season. Yerry De Los Santos will save us.
Well, he's no P.F. Rizzuto...
THIS IS GENIUS, DUQUE
Stats, we got ‘em.
Our arms ain’t rotten.
We’re hard as cotton
There ain’t no bottom.
I feel so grateful - and humbled - to know that El Duque is at home on a presumably cold day in the Great North, spending his time studying the Words of Cashman - our Torah - looking for hidden meaning, coded messages, a way out of this miasma. Fun fact - did you know that the Alcoholics Anonymous big book was originally going to be called "A Way Out?" Anyway, I am glad for this crew. We are carrying the torch, holding the line, cracking the whip, keeping the faith, saying the un-sayable, thinking the un-thinkable, sending Juju-fication beams and high-power Rizzutons to the skies - ALL IN THE PURSUIT OF GLORY. We will destroy all comers this year. Brian will guide us, Boone will lead us. Hal, will protect us. ONWARD! ARE WE NOT MEN????
No! We are DEVO! D-E-V-O! Sadly, won't be seen on any of the endless, SNL 50th-anniversary celebrations....
Duque - Glad to see that one of your core competencies is in fine fettle. I suspect that other NY GMs are equally profound. Except Leon Rose. His utterances would barely fill a fortune cookie.
I miss the Village Voice.
Semi off topic but - What is a fettle? Are there not so fine fettles? Do they cost less than a fine one? I would like a fine fettle but I was thinking of buying eggs so...
...Incredible, the insights that Cashman always gives you.
So, in a negotiation, the other side does not always reveal—especially at first—all the other offers they've received or what their bottom line is. What rapscality! And what genius by our GM-for-Life to suss that out!
Meanwhile, "The Dodgers, they done good." A deranged homeless person could not have been less articulate on the matter!
And the Yankees? Well, probably what they need is yet another free stadium from the good people of New York. Yep, that's the ticket!
More skyboxes and $3000.00 field box seats!! That's what the people want!
Hoss - I'm good with the 50th stuff. 50 years on TV is an incredible amount of time to survive. Worthy of celebration.
Plus, I like to show my kids the older stuff and it reminds me of sketches and characters I've forgotten about.
A lot of it doesn't hold up but it doesn't have to. It's all about context.
One of the great things about being a Boomer is how we've been able to witness the evolution of American Comedy from Vaudeville and early comedy on radio (which employed a lot of the rhythms and routines), to early TV which put the physical back (like Abbot and Costello) to your Show of Shows, Milton Berle, Ernie Kovacs and all the 60's variety shows, ending with The Smothers Brothers (which added irreverence) and then SNL.
50 years of SNL.
The anniversary shows are in some way as much about that evolution as the comedy itself. Like I said, context.
Speaking of historical context... I'm wrapping up reading your book. It took me a while because I don't read a lot of non-fiction and I didn't want to plow through it. Wanted to read it only when I was in the mood.
It really is exceptional. I know we've all said that but it is a truly great read.
That said, last thing on SNL...
I remember going to the Village Gate watching National Lampoon's Lemmings and also listening to the NL Radio Hour while baby sitting.
SNL poached the hell out of both of those shows.
I still listen to Lemmings. Great album. Christopher Guest doing James Taylor and Dylan, Belushi as Joe Cocker, Chevy Chase singing "Colorado"
National Lampoon deserves a shout out but won't get it. So I'm giving it one here.
BTW, among NL's many writers and contributors over the years is some guy named Hart Seely. I wonder what ever happened to him?
Only if they're largely kept empty during every regular season game.
We can say we're smoking dope on the ra-di-o
When we're really eating cookies on the ra-di-o
Wasn't the skit with Mr. Rogers and the bass player from NL?
"Wimpy. That's a funny word. Can you say it? Wimpy?"
"Wimpy, wambly, wombly, I can say whatever you want...You is easily amused."
Poor, poor B Cashman. MLB's Fat Freddy Freekowski always gets burned, cat shits in his shoes.
Speaking of 50 years and Baby Boomers, and I speak as one, how self-deluded were we? We genuinely thought that our generation would save the world. At least a lot of us did. The truth is, the world is worse than it was 50 years ago. Not in every way, of course. But we've gone from segregation back to White Supremacists (who get pardoned for violence and murder) and from a (mostly) representative democracy to a dictatorship run with the help of an oligarchy and a corrupt Supreme Court. With the Yankees as the foremost venue, sports used to be a respite from the world's problems. I'm not so sure that still is true.
You don’t want the filthy, unwiped asses of the commoners muddying them, do you?
Sorry about that depressing editorial.
I never thought we would change the world, but I didn't think democracy and the rule of law would ever go away. And I did think that subsequent generations would eliminate racism, homophobia, and sexism. That was a bad assumption. Between the Steinbrenners and guys like Nestor Cortes and the other right-leaning and right-wing players (of which there are many), though, that respite is gone. I agree, Carl.
Our generation, with some help from the ones after, is changing the world, actually. But it's changing in ways we never thought we'd have to witness.
Yes, JM, that's precisely what I meant.
The world changes. "Generations" don't really have much to do with it.
The Genius is full of himself and full of shit. By the way, Tissue Mon Stanton is hurt again!
The Mr. Rogers interviewing the bass player is indeed from NL's "That's Not Funny That's Sick"
It's very much worth a listen.
My college friends and I still refer to any junk food as "cheese preeners".
The only reason Stanton has tendinitis in two elbows is because he doesn’t have three of them.
Good one.
National Lampoon Radio Hour - The Case of the Mad Vandal
Or lowering into the nYankees toilet!
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