The Yankees famously stood pat over the winter. Too bad they didn't over the trade deadline last August

In these modern Yankee dark ages, the front office loves to assure us that the key to a successful winter is saving chips for the August 1 trade deadline. Don't sweat the bullpen, they say. Ignore the hole at 3B, disregard the lack of a fifth starter. We'll save our pennies and fix everything in July! Because we're the Yankees, and we're smart!

Then, come July 31, they deal out of a hopeless desperation that J.D. Vance can appreciate.

Last summer, at the Aug. 1 deadline, they drained their farms for Jake Bird, Camilo Dotal, Jose Caballero, David Bednar and Ryan McMahon - a haul that continues to provoke depression, sleeplessness and suicidal thoughts. 

In fact, it's almost scary... how bad last year's deadline deals turned out to be.  

We went 5-for-5 in fiascos.

Caballero is hitting .178 with a HR, which came last night. He's probably the best pick-up we made last summer. Unfortunately, his botched routine grounder last night led to a four-run rally, which resurrected the Angels. Next month, Anthony Volpe will probably return and take over SS, leaving Caballero to a utility role. The idea of a starter returning should excite Yank fans. Volpe does not have that impact. I think everyone hoped Caballero would take the position, full-stop. That's not gonna happen. 

McMahon is hitting .108 with 0 HRs. He has struck out 15 times in 37 at-bats - continuing the woes that ruined his career in Colorado. The YES team has been reduced to the trope of always noticing some good sign in his latest AB; he really fouled one off! The worst thing about McMahon may be his salary. When they obtained him last August, the Yankees absorbed the last two years on a deal that pays him $16 million per season. So, when Food Stamps Hal pulls out his pockets next winter, it will be, in part, due to the trade deadline of 2025.

Dotal has a 7.36 ERA, so high that it's hard to maintain. Last season, he crashed and lost his closer role with SF, a franchise that, historically, has done well in identifying good pitchers. Dotel hasn't been much better with the Yankees. Nevertheless, they re-signed him for $6.1 million because - well - Brian Cashman hates to admit a deal went south. But this one did.

Bednar, the current closer, has a 5.36 ERA and two losses. He has five saves, including several heart-stressers, which stranded the winning runs on base. My cardiologist has already warned me about Bednar. Like Dotal, he signed a one-year deal last winter: We're paying him $9 million. 

Bird has an ERA of 7.71 and, following last night's outing - he blew two leads, including a three-run, game tying HR - he was dispatched to Scranton. Unless he figures it out, we won't see him again. (Cashman is big on second chances for his trade acquisitions, but three-time failures get Kei Igawa-ed.) 

I don't mean to beat Seabiscuit. The Yankees' haul last August has been picked over more often than Viktor Orban, and the YES barkers no longer slather lipstick on this one. In fact, last night, around the fifth inning, the ongoing Yankee gaslight seemed to switch gears. As the Yankees blew lead after lead, we were assured that hope is just around the corner. Volpe will soon be back. Gerrit Cole will soon be back. Carlos Rodon will soon be back. And rest assured... the Yankees will be busy at the trade deadline. 

God help us. And praise be to Hal-ah.