Headlines of the Yankee Campaign

CBS: Hillary Clinton "overstated" key
role in 1996 Yankee World Series.
Videos show she never played NY firstbase;
Chelsea still convinced Mom wore No. 23

Barack Obama decries ties to
ex-Redsock Manager Grady Little
Calls grandmother "typical Redsock fan;"
Says she never appreciated Mo Vaughn

John McCain vows to
"Stay the Course" in Bullpen
Says Bruney, Farnsworth, Karstens show stability,
Nevertheless, predicts 10 more years of bombings

Peter Angelos: Our man in Baltimore

Orioles owner Peter Angelos – the man who recently donated Miguel Tejada to the Astros for a sore-shouldered pitcher, who signed Albert “Trick or Treat” Belle for 5-years, who supervised Baltimore’s worst era for baseball since Dick Nixon was stroking Checkers’ furry ears -- is backing Hillary Clinton.

Bet the house on Barack Obama.

When you hear the phrase “slick lawyer,” try to imagine Angelos -- the Isaiah Thomas of baseball -- standing in court, telling a mesmerized jury that, “An institution none other than the United States Postal System considers this man to be Santa Claus!” because frankly, you wouldn’t want this bozo defending you for a parking ticket. You’d end up being water-boarded at Gitmo.

Here, Exhibit A is the A’s, as in Oakland A’s, who have won division crowns while spending less money than Angelos does on crab dip. It was against mighty Baltimore, the perennial power, that 12-year-old Jeffrey Maier seized the home run ball from Tony Tarasco’s outstretched mitt. Yeesh. By now, Maier might have a 12-year-old kid, and Baltimore hasn’t even come close to playing a game on Oct. 10.

What’s really scary, if you happen to be a union member, is the notion that Angelos is a successful “labor attorney.” Somehow, the guy who last year signed Corky Sosa– a homerun-hitter known for butt and bat injections! – amassed enough money to buy a ball club.

Basically, he did to the labor movement what he's done to Camden Yards.

If there was ever a reason to believe class war conspiracy theories... Noam, meet Pete!

Now, he’s backing Hillary?

By June, she’ll be undergoing Tommy John surgery.

Hillary Clinton baseball card - as Morganna the Kissing Bandit???

You can't make this shit up.

(OK, actually we often do, but this time we're serious. Honest. Well, at least about the card.)

Wondering why Hillary Clinton wasn't in Upper Deck's "presidential predictors" baseball card set, in which candidates were featured in great baseball moments or as all-time greats? Well, she was - as Morganna the Kissing Bandit - until her card was pulled.

"There was some concern by some of the people that it might be offensive," said an Upper Deck spokesperson.

Especially to that unidentified Phillie on the card.

A few cards have gotten out, and at least one sold on eBay for more that $2,400.

Upper Deck has said that it'll put a new, less offensive version of Clinton in Series II. After the good judgment displayed with that first card, we can't wait to see what they'll do for an encore! Possible "great moments" being considered:

1. As Debbie Clemens, getting a shot of HGH in the ass while an unsuspecting Rocket watches "Gilligan's Island" in the next room.

2. At a barbecue, arguing with Jessica Canseco about who has the better body.

3. As wacky Marge Schott, watching games with her dog while making racial slurs and talking up Hitler.

Diary of a Great Yankee Fan

In 1967, no one more followed baseball more passionately than young Hillary Rodham -- who, as everyone knows -- is a life-long Yankee fan.

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Until recently, no one realized how intensely she raged in letters to friends about the 1967 ballclub, which struggled under Manager Ralph Houk. Some excerpts:

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On the infield of Joe Pepitone, Horace Clarke, Ruben Amaro and Charlie Smith: "I’ve gone through three and a half metamorphoses and am beginning to feel as though there is a smorgasbord of personalities spread before me."

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After one tough loss to Boston: "Sunday was lethargic from the beginning as I wallowed in a morass of general and specific dislike and pity."

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On the signing of former Red Sox ace Bill Monbouquette: “Don’t begrudge me my mercenary interest."

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On her attraction to slugger Joe Pepitione: "Can you be a misanthrope and still love or enjoy some individuals?”

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At the end of the season, with the team next to last: "I’m sitting here at a stolen table in a pair of dirty denim bell-bottoms, a never-ironed work shirt and a beautiful purple felt hat with a purple polka-dotted scarf streaming off it. I’m really tired of people slamming doors and screaming obscenities at poor old life."