Let's Check In On Twitter, Shall We?

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UPDATED: CJ Nitkowski's Life Sounds Really Depressing

CJ Nitkowski, who threw grapefruits for the doomed 2004 Yankees, is tweeting from Korea, where they pay him money to pitch. His messages to the world, taken together, amount to something sadder than Lou Gehrig's farewell speech, but less hopeful.

God, these two:

 

UPDATE: Forgot a good one.

Madden Retirement Tweet: "That Dookie Looks A Bit Like Brett Favre. Wow. I was full."

I Don't Get It, But I Like It

Doug Mientkiewicz' Twitter feed

Then Again, Twitter Might Not Save Baseball.

Jason Grilli's Twitter feed.

Twitter Is Saving Baseball...

...thanks to key tweeters like Rich Thompson of the Salt Lake Bees:

BREAKING NEWS: DOUG MIENTKIEWICZ THINKS NICK SWISHER IS A TURD

Many thanks to New Stadium Insider Ross for leaving the comment that hipped us to the major breaking story that Twitter will survive without Shelley Duncan, because we have Doug Mientkiewicz:

Doug Mientkiewicz on Twitter

Blogging Bombers on Twitter

Brian on Twitter

New Stadium Insider on Twitter

What the hell: Me on Twitter
Related: Shelley Duncan Swears Off Twitter

UPDATE: Call him Dougiebackpedal:

OK, This Is Big News. And Sad. Big And Sad News.

Shelley Duncan To Go 0-5 Vs. Pawtucket Tonight Homered, Sorry. Coffee Helps!

So guess who else is on Twitter? Heroic, exhausted Shelley Duncan! He just spent a million years on the Scranton team bus to Pawtucket, bitching about everything! Here's a picture HE HIMSELF took TODAY:

Duncan, who is 4 for his last 39, linked to the pic in this hilarious tweet:

HA! So what else does he have to say?

God, why is everyone on Twitter such a dick?

This Is What I Have Been Saying All Along

SHOCK UPDATE! Heyman also tweeted:


Is the CC with a 1-3 record also an impostor?

OH! ALSO! Because the Yankees are too cheap to buy a retractable roof, I am actually listening to a Syracuse Chiefs game. I hate this.

I Effing TOLD You YES Is A Sex Site

Maxim? Shirtless? FRANCESA?

Kimberly's live sex chat is archived here. For Francesaphile perverts only.