Ancient Photo Reveals Truth About Astros Sweep Of The Yankees!!!!

 

Hal on the Gum-chewer: "Every manager, if you look at any five games or seven games or 10 games, is going to make mistakes. Obviously in the postseason, they’re magnified. I’m not saying he makes the right decision every time. I think some of the critique is justified. But overall I think he does his homework quite well, deals with his coaches quite well, and listens to their advice, even in-game, and makes a lot of good decisions.”

Aaron Boone gets a vote of confidence, a passing grade, a slap on the back, another season in the hostage seat. 

As we wait for the shoes to drop, here's Boonie's managerial record. 

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you, woo-woo-woo.
What's that you say, Mrs. Steinbrenner,
Joltin' Joe requested too much pay, hey-hey-hey.

Yanks place three on the Top 15 Aarons list

 TOP 15 AARONS:

1. Judge
2. Rodgers
3. Carter (deceased)
4. Donald 
5. Sorkin

6. Burr (deceased)
7. Eckhart
8. Jones
9. Copland (deceased)

10. Neville (deceased)
11. Boone 
12. Hernandez (deceased)
13. Nola
14. Paul
15. Hicks 

Cashman on Hicks: "He’s signed under contract. He’ll come back and try to take and earn a position back and a place that we can count on. He does have the ability; we just weren’t able to tap into it consistently this past year, and I know he was frustrated by that.”

Brian Cashman discusses Aaron Hicks and fails to mention: 

Last year, Hicks hit .216. The previous year, .194. The year before that, .225.

Over the last four years, he's hit a grand total of 30 HRs.

At 33, he no longer covers CF.

We have him for four more years at $10 M per season.

In other words, he's all ours.

Goodbye, Mr. Ewing.

 

Remember Patrick Ewing? It would be hard to forget him. 

Ewing put in 15 years for the Knicks, averaging nearly 23 points a game, with over 10 rebounds and nearly 3 blocked shots in every contest. The NBA, celebrating its 50th anniversary, named him one of the league's 50 greatest players.

Yet there was alway an aura of disappointment around Ewing—always more that was expected, after the Knicks jubilantly opened up that envelope giving them the first pick in the 1985 NBA draft.

He was never a very smooth player, Mr. Ewing. Never quiiiite as good as we Knicks fans wanted him to be. There were a couple years when he was hobbled by injuries, a couple years when the ball just didn't bounce the right way.

And a lot of years when he had a paper-thin supporting cast.  

But year after year, he kept coming back, the best player on the Knicks, one of the best players in the NBA—even if he wasn't Kareem, or Bill Russell or any of those other fantasy notions we had of him.

Near the end, with his knees finally giving out, the Knicks put on an improbable playoff run in the strike-shortened, 1998-1999 season.

The team finished only 27-23, good for an 8th seed in the East. Ewing played only 38 of those 50 games, and though he still put in over 17 points a game and grabbed nearly 10 'bounds, the legs were clearly going.

Then came the playoffs. The Knicks swept through the first three rounds, going 11-4. Ewing's playing time dwindled steadily, though, and he had to miss the whole final, which they lost, 4 games to 1, to San Antonio.

But no matter. A lot of Knicks fans were psyched up. 

Who needed Patrick Ewing anymore? In their collective wisdom, lumbering old Patrick had always been slowing the team down. 

Who needed Pat Ewing? We had Latrell Sprewell. And...and...Marcus Camby!

The Knicks were young! The Knicks were going to run-and-gun! A whole new era awaited.

The next year, Ewing ground his way through another, torturous season, still scoring 15 points a game. The Knicks finished second, and made it to the Eastern Conference finals, where they lost to Indiana.

But who cared? Patrick was gone at last, off to finish his career with desultory seasons in Seattle, and Orlando.

Now the running, scoring, dynamic Knick dynasty could really take off!!

Somehow, the new, reborn Knickerbockers dropped to third without Ewing, and were knocked out in the first round of playoffs.

Then came 9 straight losing seasons.  

It just might be, a few Knicks fans finally conceded, that Patrick Ewing wasn't the problem.

Well, Knicks, am I right?

But the lesson holds for the Yankees and our fellow fans. You think the problem with this team is Aaron Judge, and if we just get rid of him a whole new, wonderful era will open up?

Think again.

More mush from the mush-master: "We're just going to keep plugging away like we did last year. We improved on defense, we improved in other areas, we're going to have to sit down like we always do and see what areas we need improvement in, who we're going to bring back that was with us this year, who we're not. We've got a couple of young kids, three young kids actually, that we're excited to see more and more of. So, we're just going to work. Unacceptable what happened. No doubt about it."

 Hal grants an interview to one of his employees. 

He says the Yankees will keep plugging away. Like they plugged away last year. 

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

And the year before that. (By my count, we're at 2015.)

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

And the year before that.

And the year before that. (Which is 2009; we plugged away and won.)

He sees nothing wrong with the Yankees. Every year, they plug away and contend. There is no reason why Hal needs to spend more money or adopt new strategies.

They'll just keep plugging away...

"This man is not your friend..."

 

There is a moment in the immortal, 1957 film, The Sweet Smell of Success—a moment in the scene depicted right here—when Burt Lancaster, as the vicious gossip columnist, J.J. Hunsecker, tells a U.S. senator (far right) about the acting agent (middle):

"This man is not your friend."

The senator ends up telling him, "Thank you, J.J., for what I consider good advice."

I offer this same advice to the legions of my Yankee fan brethren now on the internet, insisting that it will be just as well if Aaron Judge walks, that he sucked in the postseason, that he will only get worse as the years go by, that the team will never win a World Series with him, yadayadayada.

Now, it could be that this really Cooperstown Cashman going all Putin on us in manufacturing internet trolls. But I doubt it.

Instead, these seem to be real fans living in virtual reality where so many American reside nowadays. That is, a world where they believe they will always have a choice of their own devising.

Again and again, they tell us that it's ridiculous to give any player the money Judge will surely receive—that prices are already too high at Yankee Stadium.

They tell us that with Judge gone, his salary and the money he would have been paid can now be devoted to building the sort of winning team they would prefer, acquiring assorted pitchers and position players who will finally get the Yankees over the top before this window of opportunity to win, closes.

Folks, all I can do is quote J.J.. This man—this Hal Steinbrenner—is not your friend.

I know this may be shock to many people, but if Aaron Judge walks off this team tomorrow, Hal is not going to announce a "Judge Walks Discount On All Yankees Tickets!" Your cable bill is not going down. The usual rat dogs and Rancid Beer ("Mmmm Rancid! The beer for when you just don't care!") prices are not dropping by so much as a nickel.

As usual in capitalism, what the Yankees charge is determined by what the market will bear. That will not change.

Nor, for that matter, are Hal and Brian Cashman going to kick up their heels in glee, high-five, and screech in each other's faces, "Now we can finally build the great team we always wanted!"

For the last 15 years, free agents who could indeed have got the Yankees over the top have come and gone by the boatload. Some—such as Bryce Harper and Carlos Beltran—even came to New York talking about how they always wanted to be a Yankee, and hinting that they would give the home team a discount.

Hal and Cashman never budged. 

Now, there are no great free agents on the market, save for a couple of first-rate shortstops, who our front office will never sign because we have three GGGREAT shortstops all ready to bust into the majors—

—I wonder at times about how great those shortstops really are, having lived through Brian Cashman's Cavalcade of Can't-Miss Catchers, Gary Sanchez, J.R. Murphy, Austin Romine, and, uh, oh! Jesus—

—but never mind. There are no outfielders worth mentioning out there, certainly no one capable of approaching Aaron Judge's caliber. 

There is nobody to trade, from a farm system that was mediocre to start with and has now been stripped down to acquire the likes of Frankie Montas and Scott Effross. There is absolutely no evidence from his 25-year tenure as GM of the one major-league team consistently willing to spend big bucks that Brian Cashman can build a champion on his own.

That window of opportunity has already closed, people. Or rather, it's being held open just a sliver by our one, remaining superstar, Aaron Judge. You slide him out, and that window is going to slam shut for at least the next decade.

To close on the same line Lancaster uses in this scene, "Are we kids or what?" 

Letting Aaron Judge walk is not going to make a single thing better on the New York Yankees. Save for Hal Steinbrenner's portfolio, which doesn't need any help.

"Cashman" was trending last night on Twitter. It was not pretty.

 

Spoiler alerts:

Cashman has been trending for nearly a month now.

It doesn't matter what we think. 

Baseball Players Have No Intrinsic Value

 

As all the world wonders over whether Aaron Judge will re-sign with your New York Yankees, the debate over whether or not the Yanks should sign him veers into the usual quagmire of logic.

"Ten years? Eight years?" we hear over and over again. "Why, Judge is 30! He'll be terrible by the end of that contract!"

He may well be. But that argument misses several big forests for the trees, starting with the simple fact that baseball players have no intrinsic value.

To begin with, ballplayers never exist in stasis. They always tend to get better or worse, for a wide variety of reasons.

Age is one. It's generally thought that—without the latest Joy Juice—most baseball players peak at about 28. There is considerable evidence that it might even be much earlier—maybe as young as 21-25 for many players—because that's when they're at top physical condition, other teams haven't learned to pitch to them yet, etc. (This seems to be especially true for "speed" players, which Judge is not, good as he is at stealing bases.)

Other players—usually the best players—manage to make adjustments to aging. They take on what my brother-in-law calls "manpower"—sacrificing power for average as they put on a few pounds. (I don't think this much applies in Judge's case.) Or they pay attention—to pitchers, to the game in general, and gain (at least a little) in field smarts what they lose in athleticism.

Then there are what Rumsy called the known unknowns: injuries; wine, women, and song; the general ennui of 21st century life (this, again, is not something that really bothers a lot of ballplayers).  

So yes, Aaron Judge is 30 years old, and therefore is more likely to get injured in the years just ahead, and likely to be a lesser ballplayer—perhaps a much lesser ballplayer—near the end of an extended contract.

There was, therefore, an argument to be made for Brian Cashman and HAL to really think out just what they wanted to pay Judge BEFORE the 2022 season and, if it seemed like too much, to trade him and use the new players and the money saved to make over the team in interesting ways.

They didn't do that.

There've been all sorts of things written about how Aaron Judge, a very rich man at 29, "gambled" on himself and won. That's true—but the real gamble is the one that HAL and Cashie took, and they lost. They lost big time. If Judge walks now, they will have lost a huge amount of potential value, in the players or prospects they COULD have had for him.

Too late now.

But getting back to that "intrinsic value" thing. 

The algorithmic amongst us like to think of ballplayers purely in a theoretical, statistical value removed from the rest of the world, or at least just compared to other ballplayers. That way of thinking has its uses, and can be a valuable thing to do.

But it doesn't reflect the SITUATIONAL value of a ballplayer.

For instance, you might want to overpay, in players or cash, for that reliever or that DH because he's the one, missing element that will get you over the hump, and make you a champion (See the 2016 Cubs, and Sweatsman). You definitely want to look at the box office and the TV ratings, and think about what losing a player might do to them.

The Yankees, in 2022, led the AL with over 3.1 million fans—a HUGE jump over 2021, when they drew about 1.9 million. 

If Judge walks, considering the team that we know Cooperstown Cashman will put on the field without him, attendance could easily plunge back to that 1.9 million mark—or considerably lower.  Conservatively speaking, considering Yankee Stadium prices, that could mean a loss of $120 million—or three times an "outrageous" Judge yearly contract of $40 million. 

And we're not even talking about TV ratings, or the money to be gleaned from those fans who like to watch the Yankees on their phones, or their two-way, Dick Tracey wrist radios.

Judge by himself likely cannot win the Yankees a World Series. But say things break right, and they do take one, thanks to him having a great postseason (Hey, it can happen: look at A-Rod, 2009!). That's a huge haul for the Yankees right there.

And then there's the Yankees' brand, which contrary to what Hal Steinbrenner seems to believe is maintained only by them winning. A lot. Years of rebuilding with his moax of a GM is going to go nowhere, and likely to reduce revenue and interest exponentially. 

The more years with Cashman and without Judge, means the more years blowing hundreds of millions of dollars that could be safely tucked away into Steinbrenner kiddie trust funds.

So will Aaron Judge still be a record-busting hitter at 38? No, he will not. But that's the wrong question.

The right question is, "Is Aaron Judge the only thing standing between the New York Yankees and a years-long, financial bloodbath?" 

I'd say the answer to that, is yes.

"The Dodgers potentially have a lot of money coming off the books, including the salaries of free agent Trea Turner; Cody Bellinger, who is arbitration-eligible and made $17 million this year, but they could trade or non-tender him; Justin Turner, who has a club option at $16 million with a $2 million buyout; and Craig Kimbrel, who made $16 million this year. That’s more than enough to land Judge."

 

The Athletic's Jim Bowden explains how Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner could once again finish second in a big contest. (Subscription required.) 

Not that we needed one, but it's another reminder that the Yankees are not the gold standard of MLB, as they once were. And they will likely never again command that status, as long as Hal runs the franchise. 

What's unclear is whether Judge will give the Yankees a final shot at matching or beating another team's offer. There are conflicting accounts of how that decision will come down. Probably, it won't matter. If the Dodgers or Giants offer crazy-stupid money, it's hard to imagine Hal following suit. 

In case you're wondering... yes, I suppose the Yankees could spend an extra $50 million in Judge ransom on the likes of Cody Bellinger (19 HR and .210 last season) and/or Justin Turner (13 HR and .278 last season, who turns 38), and/or Trea Turner (21 HR and .298, who will be 30.) All three would still not match Judge's HR total.

Finishing second has is consequences.  

Close your eyes, and it's easy to imagine next year's Yankees as a carbon copy of 2022. That is not necessarily a hopeful image.

Denizens of the Yankiverse are still processing the bleak shards of strategy troweled out to reporters this week by Brian Cashman, our GM-for-Life. 

For example, this chestnut:

"We don't have a right fielder. We don't have a left fielder. I'd always like to improve the pitching. We have some kids pushing in on the infield, so there'll be, I would think, probably a lot of exciting opportunities that could play out next spring in the middle infield."

Basically, everything hinges on Aaron Judge and Anthony Rizzo. If they stay - tying up about $60 million - next year could look like this: 

DJ LeMahieu 3B
Aaron Judge RF
Anthony Rizzo 1B
Giancarlo Stanton DH
Gleyber Torres 2B
Oswaldo Cabrera LF
Jose Trevino C
Oswald Peraza SS
Harrison Bader CF 

If Judge and Rizzo stay, Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner will likely call the cards on further free agent spending. Gleyber Torres might be Cashman's best trade chip, as Josh Donaldson will be nearly impossible to move. 

Last year's team won 99 games, mostly before July 1. Sadly, what Yank fans remember is another postseason where nobody produced. 

So we wait on Judge and Rizzo, both of whom probably peaked last season. Even if the fates break our way, it's hard to ignore a sense of disillusionment. We've seen this movie before. It's going to be a long dark winter.

Baseball America has unveiled its Top 10 ranking of Yankee prospects. It's long on process, short on results.

Baseball America, the ultimate ranker of rancor when it comes to hope, has uncorked its Top 10 2023 Yankee prospects. 

Normally, this firewalled list - available on social networks - gives Yank fans a pre-Thanksgiving erection, as we fantasize who will "break out" to become the next Aaron Judge.

But excuse me if this list isn't bringing the potatoes. In a nutshell, it's high on hope and low on achievement. Let's visit the Top 10.

1. SS Anthony Volpe. Had a nice month, but hit just  .249 last year.

2. SS Oswald Peraza. Wasn't considered an upgrade over crumbling IKF.

3. OF Jasson Dominguez. Finished Arizona Fall League hitting .167. (It's considered a hitter's league.)

4. OF Everson Pereira. Hit .274 at High A last year.

5. C Austin Wells. Recovering from ruptured testicle. Wear a cup, dammit.

6. OF Spencer Jones. Last summer's 1st round pick. Default placement?

7. RHP Will Warren. ERA in Double A: 4.02

8. RHP Drew Thorpe. Last summer's 2nd round pick. Early.

9. RHP Randy Vasquez. ERA in Double A: 3.90

10. OF Estevan Florial. Yanks ignored him all last season.

I don't claim to be an MLB scout or even a  Mel Kiper Jr "expert." But is it too much to hope for a top 10 where somebody actually broke out last year? 

For two straight summers, the Yankees have drained their system at the trade deadline. Have we finally started sucking air?

Some MLB owners will spend whatever it takes to win. Hal Steinbrenner is not one of them, and that's a problem with the upcoming negotiations over Aaron Judge

 

Everyone agrees that the most important free agent this winter is Aaron Judge. Hands down. Not even close. Bobs yer uncle.

Some owner will happily offer crazy, stupid money to sign Judge. Presumably, that Viagra-drunken billionaire will also surround Judge with other high-priced stars - creating a make-or-break season in San Francisco, or Anaheim, or even Queens.

Yank fans face a different dilemma: 

If Hal Steinbrenner rouses the money to keep Judge, will it come at the expense of - say - Anthony Rizzo, who yesterday opted out of his contract and is now a free agent? Would signing Judge mean cutbacks elsewhere, as Hal self-imposes a payroll cap austerity? 

Could the Yankees become one-man show - a la Rickie Henderson in the 1980s - with Judge batting leadoff on a team that perpetually chases wild cards? 

In that regard, Hal has won. In the 14 years since he took over the Yankees, he has sobered the hopes of their fanbase, so that we now rate players by their contracts. Twenty years ago, Yank fans never worried about how much a player was paid. That was for Royals fans. Today, thanks to the team-owned media, you'd think Hal or his family will miss meals from paying such excessive salaries. In fact, they are billionaires, several times over.

According to Cots Baseball Contracts, a website devoted to MLB payrolls, the Yankees' 2023 opening day roster would put them sixth in MLB spending - behind Toronto, Atlanta, San Diego, Los Angeles and the Mets. In each case, there is a billionaire owner who'll stop at nothing to win. (You might add Philadelphia to that list, as the payroll is rising.) 

If you add the franchises who are simply better managed - Houston, Tampa, San Francisco, perhaps Seattle and Boston -for the Yankees to reach the world series, they must have a near perfect season of acquisitions and trades. Last August's trade deadline proved a disaster. They never recovered.

We all want the Yankees to keep Judge. To watch him play for another team would be a blight upon our hearts for the next decade. But if Hal uses Judge's contract as a cudgel, to pinch pennies elsewhere, what does it matter? We will be doomed to chasing second place. And that's not the New York Yankees we once knew.

Yankees Announce New Outfield for 2023

 

The New York Yankees today announced their new outfield alignment for 2023. Going from left to right, it will be Giancarlo Stanton, Samantha Judge, and Aaron Judge.

It is believed to be the first time that any major-league team has played a husband and wife in the outfield, although the Pittsburgh Pirates did go with a keystone combo of Bill and Maisie Mazeroski in 1959.

The signing of Samantha was part of a "two-for-one" deal that lured her husband back into the Yankees' fold. Asked about the status of Yankees centerfielder Tots Bader, acquired at the trade deadline in 2022, general manager Brian Cashman revealed that he would be traded back to the St. Louis Cardinals for Jordan Montgomery.

"Look, everybody gave me so much tsuris over that deal," Cashman barked at reporters, in an uncharacteristically direct interview.  "So now it's done. So get the fuck off my back already!" 

Cashman also noted that Samantha Judge had run the recent New York Marathon in just over four hours, showing that she is inured to most injuries, and will easily be able to get to balls that Stanton could only wave at before. Under the Yankees' new defensive scheme, Stanton is now supposed to be a "wall man," stationed next to the outfield fence to leap for anything too high for the shorter Judge to reach.

"This is momentous. This is game-changing. This is epic," claimed Cashman, who at the same time refused to say that Aaron Hick had definitely lost his place in the Yankees' outfield.

https://www.nj.com/yankees/2022/11/yankees-aaron-judges-wife-samantha-runs-new-york-city-marathon-how-did-she-do.html

Dump Em or Dump Em (Position Players)

Finally, back in California… Sitting comfortably on my office Lazy Boy, a carafe of Chaga on the snack tray next to me, and ready to give some post mortem.  

Side Note:  I prefer to write in a recliner with a wireless keyboard on my lap. Aside from being more comfortable I never get wrist, back, or eye strain from hunching over a laptop.

I also still use a ViewSonic P220f as my monitor. If any of you were art directors back in the day, and I’m now old enough to say, “Back in the day”,  you know what a great monitor it is. Sure, it weighs like 40 Lbs., but a classic is a classic for a reason.

I’m telling you this because as part of my travels I went to the Dr. Suess Museum in Springfield Mass and the exhibit that was most interesting to me was his office/studio.  They reproduced it and I got more insight about the man from looking at the way he set up his creative space than anything else in the place.  Here it is…

Simple, yet everything he needs right at hand. Comfortable looking chair too. 

Here are two more gratuitous pictures of the museum just because…

Now to the task at hand...

I genuinely hate this team and all those responsible for its construction.  Originally, I was going to write a traditional “Keep Them or Dump Them” but the truth is, with very few exceptions, I want to dump them all. The only way to differentiate will be the "How."

The Infield

First Base - Anthony Rizzo

I suspect that, if Judge signs with San Francisco, Rizzo will join him there. Currently their 1B is Brandon Belt. While the name and the meme, “Dark Brandon” is popular in the Bay Area... 

My Giants fan friends don’t like him. Plus, Rizzo is the Judge whisperer.  They go together.

So, if Judge stays. He stays.  If Judge goes…  

Dump Em. Although technically... He opted out. So, he dumped us.

2B Gleyber Torres

I can’t watch this guy anymore. He is the worst base runner I have ever seen and that includes Ira Mitchwitz from my Native American named summer camp.  When Ira got on base despite himself, we would always have to yell, “RUN!!!!!” when the ball was hit.  

Question: Do Native American’s name their summer camps after Jews? It only seems fair. 

Gleyber plays without urgency. What makes it worse is, when he focusses, he’s actually good. But MLB outlawed “Greenies” so…

Dump Em:  

Dump him in front of a Lasik Clinic.  Gleyber has issues with squinting too. He should get that fixed. I wish him well.

 

Shortstop - IFK

It’s not all his fault. The “Brain Troust” placed a Gold Glove third baseman at shortstop where he was clearly overmatched.  Players generally go the other way, starting out at SS and ending up at second or third.

He was the main reason we ended up with Donaldson. They could have just cut Sanchez and been done with it, but Cashman was fixated on getting IKF even if it meant acquiring Donaldson and his $50M contract.  

Think about how stupid that is. They took on $50M and got rid of a good third baseman to get a transitional SS who doesn’t play SS. To make it worse… when they brought up Peraza, who supposedly IKF was just place holding for, they kept playing him.  

Now Boone is making noise about playing  him next year as well!  So…

Dump Em: Somewhere so far away that he can’t find his way back until his contract has expired.

3B Josh Donaldson

Wow. There’s nothing left to be said about this guy.

Wait…  Here's one more. The “Jackie” thing was the distraction that derailed the team at a time when they were playing unconsciously well.  The Yankees still wouldn’t have gone all the way, but we would have had a couple more good weeks and maybe home field advantage against Houston.

Dump Em:  

Preferably somewhere in Russia so he can be conscripted into the Russian Army. He’ll fit right in.

The Outfield

Left Field -  TBD (To Be Dumped)

Who is our Left Fielder? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

Do we have a Left Fielder? 

Benintendi is a FA.  Oswaldo is a super sub. I guess it’s Aaron Hicks.

Dump Em’: At Saint Andrews. I’ve played it. Some of those bunkers are pretty deep. 

Center Field -  Harrison Bader

I like everything about him from his suggestive and easy to screw around with name, to the fact that, of all the people Cashman brought in at the worst trading deadline performance since October 29, 1929, Bader actually performed above expectation and plays with passion.

Keep Em. 

Right Field  - Do we even have a Right Fielder? 

This team is in deep shit.

I was going back and forth on re-signing Judge but if he’s not in right then who is? Not Stanton. Judge isn’t coming back is he? Good for him. Sad for us. 

Catcher -  Jose Trevino and Kyle Higashioka

Keep Jose. Dump Higgy. Or in the case of Higgy don't let him go to spring training because he always kills there.  Just start playing him in the middle of the year, or better yet, don't have him play at all until the playoffs. That way when he stats out by hitting like Johnny Bench it will do us good. 

---

I would do the DH position and dump Stanton but he's fragile enough and I wouldn't want to add to his burdens. 

Vladimir Guerero Jr. vows to never, ever, under any circumstances, no matter what happens, never-never-NEVER sign with the Yankees. We'll see.

Dateline, Aug. 1, 2038 _ 

By Joel Sherman Jr. 
Special to the NY Post-Times 

Seeking to boost their meager offense, the Yankees have signed 38-year-old designated hitter Vladimir Guerero Jr., who is currently among the batting leaders in the Alaska/Siberia Instructional League with a .434 average and 72 home runs.

The former Blue Jay, Met, Astro, Rocky, Guardian, Commander, Mud Hen, Ring Worm, and Brown Floater vowed to report to the Yankees' flood-alternative stadium in Scranton in time for tonight's game against the Montreal le'Devil Rays. 

"I can't lie: I'll really miss the people of Nome," Gurerro said on a hologram call with reporters. "But I can't wait to help manager Joey Gallo and this inspiring Yankee team. Getting back to the majors is a dream come true."

Known primarily as the father of Jets defensive end Vladimir Guererro III, Guerrero Jr. last played in the major leagues in 2036, when he hit .182 for the Las Vegas Marlins, before that city disappeared in a still-unexplained fiery holocaust.

Yankee GM for Life Brian Cashman said Guerrero should bring an immediate boost to the team, which is only five games below .500, and, thus, well positioned to clinch its 20th consecutive postseason birth. Guerrero is expected to be a stopgap DH until Yankee super-prospect Jasson Dominguez - aka "The Martian" - is ready. Dominguez is hitting .238 at Double A Massena. 

"We expect a big crowd tonight, upwards of 4,000," Cashman said. "The Yankees are back, and the place will be rocking." 

The Yankees last won the world series in 2009.

Where the Astros Rank

 

Congratulations, Houston Astros! (And shouldn't that name really be "Houston Astronauts"? I mean, WTF is an "Astro"? Just saying.)

This makes not only 2 World Series titles, but 4 pennants for the former Colt 45's, in the past 6 seasons. Impressive! (Beats the Yankees' 0-13 string.) 

So where do they rank in baseball history? Well, let's take a look!

Best All-Time Pennant Dynasties

15 Pennants in 18 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1947-1964

14 Pennants in 16 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1949-1964

10 Pennants in 12 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1947-1958

9 Pennants in 10 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1949-1958

New York Yankees, 1955-1964

8 Pennants in 12 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1932-1943

New York Yankees, 1936-1947

7 Pennants in 8 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1936-1943

6 Pennants in 7 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1947-1953

6 Pennants in 8 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1921-1928

New York Yankees, 1996-2003

5 Pennants in 5 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1949-1953

New York Yankees, 1960-1964

5 Pennants in 6 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1998-2003

5 Pennants in 8 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1932-1939

4 Pennants in 4 Seasons

New York Giants, 1921-1924

New York Yankees, 1936-1939

New York Yankees, 1998-2001

4 Pennants in 5 Seasons

Chicago Cubs, 1906-1910

Philadelphia Athletics, 1910-1914

St. Louis Cardinals, 1942-1946

Brooklyn Dodgers, 1952-1956

4 Pennants in 6 Seasons

New York Yankees, 1976-1981

Houston Astros, 2017-2022

4 Pennants in 7 Seasons

Boston Red Sox, 1912-1918

New York Yankees, 1926-1932

New York Yankees, 1941-1947

Cincinnati Reds, 1970-1976

The 2022 season is finally over

 

All hail the conquering Astros. Best team in baseball. Clean. A budding dynasty.

As for the Yankees, we had some moments - (thank you, Mr. Judge) - but any year that does not end with a world championship, or at least a world series appearance - is a loser, and we now have endured 13 straight.

I don't know how anybody can figure next year's Yankees - with or without Judge - will be improved. But at least 2022 is done. They cannot hurt us anymore.  

Good riddance. 

Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Keeper of the Hearth and Protector of the Realm, Commissioner Manfred has spaketh

 The Commissioner made his annual statement this week. Some excerpts... and annotations.

"Major League Baseball’s 2022 season will be remembered forever."

Huh? Yeah, Aaron Judge's HR record will be remembered, until the next guy. But... forever? Gulp. That's Kardashian-level hubris. Quickly, Ozymandius, who won the NL Central this season?

"A record 11 Clubs hosted playoff action with exhilaration, tension and an unpredictability that is unique to baseball."

They simply added a new tier to the playoffs, and seasons that used to end before Halloween can now finish after election day. As for unpredictability? Houston swept Seattle and the Yankees, and they're poised to roll over Philly. 

"The skill of our players and the success of the new playoff format are also good for business. This season we will approach $11 billion in league revenues, surpassing pre-pandemic levels."

There it is: The money line. Remember how the poormouthing owners locked out spring training this year, forcing opening day to be delayed? They're rolling in it - billionaires, several times over - and yet some are still holding their cities hostage, demanding new stadiums.

"Next year, pitch timers will facilitate a pace of play that an overwhelming number of our fans want. Shift restrictions will restore more traditional positioning of defensive players, resulting in more action from balls in play. And larger bases will keep players healthier on the field, with the added benefit of a slight incentive to be more aggressive on the base paths."

For all its illustrious history, MLB next year will change fundamental distances between bases - literally, the cornerstones of the game. Is this wise? And banning the over-shift will affect the real plague facing the sport: the overwhelming numbers of strikeouts and walks. In fact, the ban might free up sluggers to swing away with even more abandon, thus striking out more often. 

The simple truth is that the owners have no idea how all these changes, adopted simultaneously, will affect the game. Will somebody hit 70 HRs? Will somebody bat .400? After 120 years of basic stability, they are riding blind and changing the rules every season. 

"I think it was one of those years for him where he was constantly searching for that consistency. He'd have a few games where it seemed like, 'okay, here we go. He's about to take off.' And then he'd take a step back."

Aaron Boone wants Josh Donaldson back in 2023.

By the way, Boone is dead wrong about consistency. Donaldson was a pinnacle of congruity. 

In the first half of 2022, he hit .224. In the second half, .219. 

Consistently consistent, consistently bad.

Meanwhile, Phily looks phucked. That will let Houston claim the 2017 cheating scandal was overblown, and that the Astros qualify as a dynasty, the gold standard for the 2020s. 

If they simply deny-deny-deny the trash can scandal - Big Lies being fashionable  - several Astros could someday make the Hall: Jose Altuve, Justin Verlander, Alex Bregman... if they hold up, Yordan Alvarez and Kyle Tucker. Look at next year's lineup: Houston could win again.

But but BUT... if Phily somehow comes back - it would dispatch Houston to the trash heap of history. Their lone championship would be forever tainted, and though Verlander is probably a shoe-in for Cooperstown, Altuve and  Bregman might never clear their names. 

Juju gods, are you listening?