What goes on in a sportswriter's head while interviewing Yogi Berra?

(The editors want a Yogism. Gotta get him to say something…)

"HEY, YOGI!, YOU THINK THE STATE OF THE WORLD IS FUNNY, BUT THEN AGAIN, IT'S SORT OF NOT?"

"Well, as Noam Chomsky has postulated, the state of the world is rather frightening to many people, what with the war, economic disorder and the potentiality of global warming to...

(Damn, I can't use this...)

“HEY YOG! WHAJJA EAT FOR LUNCH? BREAKFAST FOOD?"

"I dined at one my favorite restaurants, and we ordered Baltimore-style crabcakes with a delicate cream sauce that had a hint of..."

(This sucks...)

“HEY, YOG! WHAT IF ALIENS FROM OUTER SPACE SHOOT US WITH A SECRET RAY GUN THAT CAUSES EVERYHING TO SHRINK. WHAT'LL HAPPEN TO MONEY?"

"Well, young man, that's quite a hypothetical. I suppose that, conceivably, a quarter would become smaller than a present day dime."

(Yesssssssssssss-)

Tomorrow's headline:

YOGI: QUARTER AINT WORTH 'DIME' NO MORE.