"They have managed to squander more than $210 million on a team that hit its 50th double play ball last night," said Henry Waxman, chairman of the House Committee on Yelling at Athletes. "They make Halliburton look like a finely tuned Swiss watch."
Ranking Yankee team nepotist Hank Steinbrenner, speaking on behalf of the Peter Principle, denied that the ownership has used psychotropic substances, though he said some middle managers may occassionally salt their daily diet with lead-based paint chips. He also denied rumors that Joe Torre's job is in jeopardy.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Waxman Committee to Investigate Yankee Management for Use of Hallucinogenic Mushrooms
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It has come to my attention that Yankee OF prospect Austion Jackson has been dubed A-Jax. This has sent me into a tailspin as to what John Sterling's call would sound like if "A-Jax" were to hit a home run as a Yankee. Enjoy.
It is high, it is far:
"….it iss gone! The stronger then dirt Ajax powers one over the LF wall!"
“….it iss gone! Ohhh…A-jax used some anti-BAT on that ball!”
“….it iss gone! A-jax mopped up the bases with a grand slam!”
“….it iss gone! A-jax, the all purpose slugger, does it again!”
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