Monday, August 11, 2008

World Condemns Angel Atrocities Against Defenseless Yanks

THE HAGUE _ World leaders Sunday called for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim to halt all future attacks on Yankees, following a weekend of bombing raids against New York pitchers that provoked cries of inhumanity from across the globe.

From Beijing, where he is thanking the Chinese for bankrolling the U.S. budget, President George Bush condemned the Angel massacres as an "unnecessary war" and accused the team of "stovepiping."

"I've heard that term and never understood it," Bush said. "Now, I do. They must be inserting stovepipes into their bats. No only that, but we found yellowcake in the Yank bullpen. At first, we thought it was Ponson's. Now, we're not sure. But I am sure of this. When there's no oil involved, there is no need for this kind of drilling. The Angels should leave them alone. They've got enough problems."

Yank fans begged MLB officials to cancel the remaining seven games against Anaheim. Meanwhile, the dewy-eyed face of Ian Kennedy, (right) a young tyke who was so horribly beaten that he may never pitch again, appeared on posters and web sites, evolving into a symbol of the wanton carnage.
Also, several aid organizations vowed to mount efforts to rescue stranded Yank baserunners, still standing at third base with less than two outs.

"It's clear that the Yankees can never bring them home," said a spokesman for the Red Cross.


Anonymous said...

Shooot. I always wanted to know what happened to Corky from 'Life Goes On'.

Check the credits:

And Co-Starring Ian Kennedy as 'Corky the Retard'.

Dude looks like a retarded Rain Man.

That asshole was what kept the Yankees from getting Johan?!?!??!!

I'd cry too if I was George Steinbrenner.

Ian, by the way, I'm tagging Allison on the side, when your 'busy' in Scranton.

Your wife's asshole is better looking than you!!!!


whitey fraud said...

IPK: "What, Me Worry?"