I Agree to Cut Kennedy Some Slack

Under the following conditions:

1. He never again pitches for or against the Yankees.

2. He stays in Scranton as a career starter.

3. He never speaks to anyone again, or writes anything down.

I have known a lot of bums in my day, as you all know. Many of them have been ballplayers.

If a pitcher in the South Mexico dirt field league, regardless of his age, gave up 5 runs and nine hits in two plus innings, failed to win a game in what was described as a " break-out " year, and then said ( post game ), " I'm not too upset about it," he would be "cholla planted."

For those of you who never leave the East Coast, having a cholla cactus attached to your posterior is not a fun thing. I suggest, as a short term measure, that the Yankees take away Ian Kennedy's passport and don't let him ever travel to Arizona, Nevada or the desert country of California.

There are Yankee fans, far meaner than I, out to get him.

So, you will no longer hear me tell how useless and incompetent this faker is. I promise, El Duque.

As long as you promise that we shall never hear his name again.