EXCLUSIVE: Secret Transcript of Arod's Meeting with MLB Officials

MLB: State your name and particulars.

AROD: Alex Rodriguez, Number 13, thirdbase, New York Yankees.

MLB: Now, you're not talking to Katie Couric here. You're under oath. And I want answers.

AROD: You want answers?

MLB: I think I'm entitled to them.

AROD: You want answers?

MLB: I want the truth!

AROD: You want the truth?

MLB: I want the truth!

AROD: The truth? You can't handle the truth! Son, we play in a league that has balls. And those balls are thrown by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Senator Mitchell?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for David Ortiz and you curse the Yankees. You have that luxury. You have the luxury tax of not knowing what I know: that my cousin’s butt injections, while tragic, probably saved games. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives in runs...

You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that Cooperstown wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like hits, runs, errors...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent in the field, chasing grounders. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very marketing profits I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it!

I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a glove and play thirdbase. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

MLB: Did you order the butt shot?

AROD: I did the job you sent me to do!

MLB: Did you order the butt shot?

AROD: I won the MVP award!

MLB: DID YOU ORDER THE BUTT SHOT?

AROD: YOU’RE GODDAMM RIGHT I DID!!