10 Reasons Why We Should Have Nothing to Do with the Rotten, Stinking, Yankee-hating Arizona Diamondbacks

Supposedly, we're on the verge of a three-way deal with them. Well... consider this...

1. Moments after winning the 2001 World Series, their home stadium p.a. system derisively played "New York, New York," the singlemost glaring example of poor sportsmanship by an organization in the last decade.

2. After demanding from the Yankees Alphonso Soriano and Nick Johnson, they turned around and dealt Curt Schilling to the Redsocks for a bucket of french fries. They did not ask for John Lester. They did not ask for Hanley Ramirez. They got four career nobodies. They just wanted to stick it to the Yankees.

3. They hired Buck Showalter, the over-rated micromanager who's has a hardon for the Yankees ever since his dust-up with George. He failed in Arizona. He failed in Texas. Years later, managing the Rangers in the final game of the season, he pulled his entire starting lineup in the fifth inning of a game against California, thereby ensuring the Angels had the home field advantage against the the Yankees in the playoffs.

4. Their longtime GM, Joe Garigiola Jr., always had a hardon for the Yankees. His dad announced for the team between 1963 and 1965, before deciding he was a game show host and p.r. hack for the Re-election of Jerry Ford. He left on bad terms, after a dust-up with George.

5. In 2001, they deferred $150 million in payments to their players. After they won the series, they just traded everybody, rather than pay them. Instead of facing up to their chistling ways, they did what every team does... they blamed the mean old Yankees.

6. They are owned by a frickin agent, Jeffrey Moorad.

7. In 2007, trying to erase their past, they changed their team colors.

8. In 2005, they traded us Randy Johnson in another salary dump, in part because George was getting old and wanted him. They didn't do us any favors. They demanded Javier Vazquez and Dioneer Navarro. Later, we traded Randy back to them for Vizciano and a pizza pie.

9. They were originally supposed to be an American League team, but Jerry Colangelo fought it so he could play the Dodgers.

10. They should be called the Phoenix Diamondbacks. What is this crapola about naming teams for states? Should we play the Michigan Tigers? The Ohio Indians?

The only positive about them I can think of?

Their roster lists a pitcher by the name of Billy Buckner.