Kearns and Berkman, Kearns and Berkman...

I heard from my old teammate, Lyn Lary who saw the game last night:

...Also, it’s ludicrous to include either end of that great comedy duo, Kearns and Berkman, on the postseason roster.  Kearns struck out twice tonight with the bases loaded and left, I think, 10 men on base—before being lifted for a pinchhitter!  Against a bunch of second-string pitchers!
Berkman, our very own fat tub of goo, managed to also make a key error, ran the bases like a crippled old lady, and contributed his usual, bases-empty single or two.

Kearns and Berkman, Kearns and Berkman
Go together like a mule and  baggage
This I tell you brother
You can have one but you must take the other

Kearns and Berkman, Kearns and Berkman
It's an institute you can disparage
Ask the fans of Yankees
And they will say their skills are elementary

Try, try, try to motivate them
It's an illusion
Try, try, try, and you will only come
To this conclusion

Kearns and Berkman, Kearns and Berkman
Go together like a mule and baggage
Cash was conned by hustlers
You can have one, you can have one, you can have one, but you must take the other