Breaking _ Reflecting concern for the playoffs, a subdued IT IS HIGH electorate has voted Kei Igawa -- "the Pinstriped Pin-Cushion" -- September YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
The decision spares candidates such as CC Sabathia and Kerry Wood from the hex that has torn hammies and spawned slumps for past Employees of the Month. This is Igawa's third award, which certainly enhances his trade value in the off-season -- that is, if the Yankees are willing to deal the "Japanese Jonah" to another team, where his protective shawl of safety could win a championship.
No...
OUR ENEMIES MUST NEVER HAVE THIS MAGICAL MAN -- THE MALADY-MAGNET OF MOOSIC... THE SCRIMSHAW-SCRIBBLER OF SCRANTON... THE ASIAN AMULET OF AMISH COUNTRY... HE IS WORTH EVERY PENNY PAID... HE IS THE PENNY-PERFECT-PARIAH OF PA... THE IT IS HIGH YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
As Rogers and Hammerstein would have written...
"YOU'RE DOING FINE, KEI IGAWA!
"KEI IGAWA, OOOOOOOOO-KEI!"
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3 comments:
At long last, we have a true fan favorite we can feel good about.
The only sensible thing to do with such a bigger-than-life hero is to freeze his head for posterity.
Posthumously, of course. But we should hurry up and do it before his contract expires and we forfeit the right to.
A Fitting Tribute.
Seeing that he's a three-time winner, can we invite Iggy to the official "It Is High" clambake this year?
(By the way, my invite has been "lost in the mail" three straight years now. You know, if it misses me again, I might start getting suspicious.)
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