Our first hyper-intense Yankee newswire

News you won't get anywhere else:

Breaking: Joe Girardi’s dog has ringworm...

This just in: Robinson Cano misplaced his car keys yesterday. Note to Robbie: They’re on the floor of the swimming pool cabanna, covered by the blue towel...

A little birdie tells me: At exactly 10:02 p.m. for the last three nights, the home of Andy Pettitte has been plagued by a mysterious phone caller. This anonymous phone-stalking human enigma says not a word, merely breathing hoarsely and listening until Andy hangs up. We cannot speculate on the identify of this trespasser in person space, but we do know this: One night, when he picked up the phone, Andy had been listening to country music...

Flash: Someone broke into Nick Swisher’s car yesterday. They didn’t take anything but just sat there, savoring his abandoned scents, for about 10 minutes. Then they left. It's quite possible that Nick doesn’t even know this happened...

And finally: Brett Gardner needs to pick up his game room. It’s a disgrace. He's going to turn an ankle tripping on something and cost the Yankees valuable time in the field...